A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

One more from my draft

Posted by Pepper on October 14, 2009

I am scared. Scared of all the unknowns in my life. Scared to the extent of being terrified. I’ve always been a person who would rather cuddle the security blanket and revel in the comfort it provides than experience the high of pulsating heartbeats. I know its not so cool to prefer security over excitement. After all people take great pride in talking about that rush of adrenaline that comes with taking risks and facing new challenges. I would have been better off had I been different. I wish I was built of stronger stuff.

I do not know where I would be at this time next year. I do not know what I would be doing. I do not know if I would find a job I like and if I’d be working. I do not know if I would get what I want. I knew I needed answers to similar questions last year as well, but that did not scare me half as much. Right now its a bottomless pit of possibilities I am falling into and the fear is gradually swallowing me.

It all results in a departure from my usual self. I want that to change. I am going to work on being fearless. Truly fearless. Where I can pluck out the dressing shielding my wounds. Feel ready to take off and face the wind, even if it messes with the direction of my flight. Because its okay to land on unfamiliar territory. Its okay to make mistakes. I wanna celebrate life and say ‘bring it on’. I know its a huge mission but one that I hope to accomplish sometime soon..

2 Responses to “One more from my draft”

  1. Bhakti said

    take it a day at time…base your decisions on the FACTS you know at that point of time…and do what you truly want to do without thinking so much…the more you think, the more it is going to scare you….it is like a snowball..it will keep getting bigger if you keep feeding it and letting it roll..

  2. Pepper said

    You are so right. It is pointless to speculate without knowing facts. And thinking more than required. But having control over your thought process and not letting it snowball is gonna take a while to achieve.. I hope it happens sooner than i think.. 🙂

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