I’m an adult. Yeah right!

I have to keep reminding myself, time and again, that I am actually a ‘grown up’ person. An adult. But I think, I live with a teenage soul in my body. My mind refuses to grow up and accept what is reality. I seem to be stuck in a period that has gone by. So where do I belong? I belong to that world where I am stressing over college submissions, staying up all night and meeting a deadline by the skin of my teeth, cursing profs, waiting for vacations, reading novels and love stories with stars in my eyes, binging over chocolate and having coffee running in my veins . Yes, that is my world.

I also have a lot of child like traits. I am delighted when I see ‘aeroplanes’ fly past the skies. My pleasure lies in things like ‘pressing the button’ and watching the garage gate open. (What? It’s fascinating!) I’m playful and jump around when I am excited. I also sulk and throw tantrums when I am mad. I talk a lot of nonsense. I want to be fussed around when I hurt myself even a little. When I am upset, I expect to be held and comforted. Because you see, I am too little and this world is cruel. I expect someone else to set things right for me. Either my parents, or Mint.

So that is where it begins and ends for me. Other things are for the ‘grown ups’. I am not one. I thought being married was a very grown up thing too. I still have an immature, teenage soul right? I thought I would grow up one day, and then get married. But what do I know? I fell in love and decided to live with him. And for that, I needed to get married. And so I did. And its still a blur. A happy blur.

Now I do things that are a part of the ‘grown up’ life too. Like cook dinner or clean the house. But I consider that to be such an accomplishment and actually expect to see an audience applauding me for my feat. The fact that my parents and Mint continue to ‘baby’ me doesn’t help. Oh, I now know who to blame for my absolute refusal to grow up.

I usually ‘act’ all grown up when I have other people around me. I don’t fool around and I am not my lame, giggly self. I might even come across as a smart, poised young girl (Yeah right, again :P) and hold an intellectual conversation with you. But put me in a real adult world where I am surrounded by the typical corporate jargon, forced to become just another power point and excel slave, where discussions revolve around market shares, stock prices and EMIs, I will be all lost.

I do realise I can’t live in my glorious teenaged world forever. Unless I want to be a misfit all my life. So yes, I better grow up. *Repeats to self* – I’m an adult!