A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Role reversal

Posted by Pepper on June 23, 2011

My mom. I realised she was a little unlike other moms at a young age. For one, she isn’t a very domesticated woman. When I was in school, I used to be mad at her for not making the kind of pickles my friends’ moms made. She, unlike most mothers isn’t a fantastic cook. There are some things she cooks exceptionally well of course. But on the whole, she isn’t the kind who’s cooking is legendary. She never did any kind of embriodery work on my clothes either. I looked at my friends with envy when they would display their pretty embriodered handkerchiefs. I used to even wonder why my mom would wear jeans when she would come to pick me up at the bus stop, when all other moms were clad in traditional Indian wear. Her attire made me the odd one out.And at that time, I didn’t like it.

But then I started growing up and I realised that none of that mattered. What mattered was who she was, not the way she was. Mama was there for me. Always. She became my ‘go to’ person for almost everything. I suppose that is how all moms are. Hungry and need a quick snack? Go to mom. In a rush and need to iron your shirt? Go to mom. Tired and need a head massage? Go to mom. Moms are universal problem solvers.

My dependence on her grew as I grew in age. I startded depending on her for most of my emotional needs too. When I screwed up in a test, I went to her for consolation. When I was scared and nervous as I awaited my results, I went to her for some assurance. When I was in the midst of an abusive relationship, I went to her for advice. When I was going through an angsty breakup, I went to her for solace. When I needed company, I went to her for some lively conversation.

She was always there. Waiting for me. In my eyes, she has always been the perfect caregiver. Which is why I find it a little strange when the roles are reversed. Since the time she is here, I find myself worrying about her. Perhaps it is because she is in an alien land. And one that I am familiar with. It makes me feel responsible for her well being. She wanted to go for a walk by herself, but I was worried she’d be lost. Another time, I was out and she was frying some okra at home and I wanted to rush back to make sure she is okay. And to make sure she could handle the electric plates without a flame. Othertimes I worry that she is eating too little. I treat her like my child and she finds it very amusing.

I suppose life does go on in circles. We end up taking care of the people who raised us and made us who we are.

Some glimpses.

Here I am walking in front of mom. Fed up of my little girl because she refused ice cream, saying she is too full when she hardly ate anything..

We asked her to pose for a snap standing next to some pole. I was terrified of her falling as she climbed up. Here I am, making sure she gets on top safely.

And this one. We’re reading something together. I realise I am so much like her when I see her spending almost 5 minutes fishing out her reading glasses from her bag. I do that for my keys. I feel happy being like her, even if it is not the best thing.

And of course, all credit to Mint for capturing these moments at the right time.

62 Responses to “Role reversal”

  1. neha said

    Looking at the first pic i cannot make out that she is your mom 🙂 . It’s so true , life does goes in circle !

  2. I love the pictures! You both look like sisters 🙂

    I liked the way you’ve drawn comparisons between when you were being taken care of and now when you’re doing the taking-care part 🙂

  3. R's Mom said

    Thats your mom in the picture! bah! pepper tera pol khul gaya…now I know why you have that waist of 24! your mom’s genes!!! and your mom is so *sexy* looking (Hope she doesnt mind me saying that)

    and about worrying about mom, it happens to me when ma comes to Mumbai..will she be able to board the train at Borivali, will she be able to open the door if someone knocks, will she be able to put R onto the bus, what if she needs something, will she be able to go out by herself..etc etc…its pretty okie rey 🙂

    Moms are the best na!

    Did you get to postpone her tickets secretly 😉

    • Pepper said

      I never said my waist is the way it is because of my own doing. It is all attributed only ot genes.
      And boarding trains in Mumbai is no easy task. I would worry myself self sick ..
      I didn’t postpone her ticket. Didn’t think she’d be too happy with that. So I decided to let her go and come back with dad adn sis, so there are no excuses that time.. 🙂

  4. PNA said

    Enjoyed reading this one, so sweet 🙂

  5. Scribby said

    the fact in the post: mums are universal problem solver-you name it and they have it 🙂

    aww peppy 🙂 Hugs to both of you girlies 🙂

  6. dipali said

    Both of you are so slender, I can’t really tell which one is you, which is your mom!!!!! Wowwwww:)

  7. Iyyo Santana Row!!!!! I live like 5 mins from there Pepper 😦

    So enjoying your time with mommy dearest?

    • Pepper said

      I know where you live madam. That’s why I texted you asking you where you’ve vanished that day, cos I was so close to your house. I thought I’d say Hi. But you’ve been so busy vacationing!

  8. Bikram said

    I am sure you have heard Like father like Son … so the otherside fits perfect here LIKE DAUGHTER LIKE MOTHER 🙂

    Have fun DUO 🙂

  9. Awww. But but. Can I please leave a shallow comment?

    I love your hair! Sigh! 😀

  10. Loved the way you have written about your mom here. In the pics, she looks more like your sis than your mom. 🙂
    I agree – moms are universal go-to persons and problem solvers. I am happy my mom is more of a friend to me than a mother.
    What a mom wears or does is not important compared to what kind of a person she is – I’d love for my daughter to look up to me as a friend too.

  11. liked your post…

    say my hello to auntie…

    btw what place is it coz i could see chess board on the floor!!!

    n very natural pics taken without giving any artificial pose or anything!!!


  12. Titaxy said

    another one of your sweet posts 😀 may this beautiful mother daughter bond grow stronger and stronger with time.

  13. Pixie said

    awww.. sniff! I loved this post! made me miss my mom some more!
    you said it right – “What mattered was who she was, not the way she was”

    awesome pics! and your mom, even from the sides is beautiful! 🙂

  14. Kavs said

    Just aww! 🙂 Moms are the best – they make the world, dont they?

  15. I can understand that part! I also find myself overly concerned about my parents nowadays. Full circle, as you said!

    Oh and nice pics. Very aptly captured for the post! 🙂

  16. Comfy said

    You are making a fool out of all of us by putting pictures of you and your sister and calling then your Mom and you. We just know it. No sir we will not fall in to that trap. No no no.

    Jokes apart, you two look adorable together. And yes yes we all do the role reversal bit when they show up here. 🙂

  17. Sujatha said

    Sweet post :-). Your mom is so slender… I recognize the place in the last picture – Old faithful isn’t? We loved it… it was so hard to take a proper picture when the water shoots up… We went there on the way back from Safari west – have you been there?


  18. neha said

    I was nodding in agreement to everything you wrote! Even my mom is the most un-conventional type (in addition to the points you mentioned, She sends me the links to interesting deals on Amazon 😐 ..hehe), And now that she is here visiting me, worrying about her comes so naturally to me that I feel it is unnatural only when she mentions that I am worrying too much :). When I go to work, I leave my cell phone with her and call her periodically from my desk phone. Few days back she switched it off because she was irritated by my constant calling, that I freaked out and rushed back home to see if she was ok! Life indeed goes in a circle.

  19. Deboshree said

    Oh my, what a super Mom you have Pepper. I wouldn’t have guessed she is your Mom if you hadn’t disclosed it. 😀
    Mint has surely done some good work. 😀

  20. Richa said

    Very nice post. 🙂 Even I feel like having my mom over and taking care of her. I hope that happens soon. 🙂

  21. scorpria said

    That’s your mom!?? Really!? Honestly!?? 😮

    Ok so finally, here’s one thing we dont have in common 😀 😀

    But yea, except the jean and cooking part — i agree with everything else. There are times when I go out for a walk with her, and I make sure she’s never on the side of the road, while I am 😀 😀 remember how they used to say “small kids should be on the inside of the pavement, and not on the road side” 😀 she finds it amusing.

    yea, role reversal happens and its cute — especially when they find it amusing! 😀 😉

    great pics, really!

  22. Yes… loved reading this… I am missing my mom already… going to call her up once I pen this down… conventional or unconventional…. Moms are definitely angels from heaven… There were few mannerisms of hers that used to annoy me.. and you can imagine my surprise when my bro exclaimed that I am acting just like mom… it is a circle… You love her for many things..fight with her… disagree with her.. but then you go back to her like a puppy… My mom still treats me like a kid which annoys me and vice versa she hates admitting that the modern technology needs to be taught to her… … I could totally relate to that simple task of taking her glass from her bag…. I stand and smile to myself when she does that because I know I am going to act the same, once I reach her age… We never valued their love and always questioned it and now.. they keep wondering if we really love them…. hmm…..

  23. Tanishka said

    Your mom looks so cool…. 🙂

    I could so easily relate with this post…. It feels so good to be similar to mom even if it is not the best of habits…. 🙂

  24. Childwoman said

    This post warmed the cockles of my heart. Its so great to read about your mum. Beautiful post.

    I was the same with my mother. Whenever we went out, I never let go of her hand or shoulder.
    Even when we went out for dinner, i used to keep asking her if she wanted anything else or was she full, coz my mum never really liked to eat out but did for me. coz I love to eat out.
    Even though my mother was pretty strict, I could not stop running to her in tears telling her that I wanted to die, since S wasnt in my life anymore. Going to sleep next to her in the middle of night when I got nightmares. She calling me everymorning to know if I reached work, and every evening asking if I was going to come home soon.
    She used to love Bhel Puri. I got her bhelpuris on the sly, even though doctor had said no for it.
    There have been times, when I have screwed up big time. She never came down on me, but always saw me out of the mess.
    She used to hide my favorite snack for me. Coz my elder brothers gobbled everything she cooked.
    She knitted beautiful sweaters for me. I knitted a muffler for her when she fell sick. In her favorite color, Maroon. She was wearing it when she died.
    She refused to sell her mothers earrings when we were bankrupt. She wanted to give them to me. The rest was sold. All her wedding jewelery.
    I wear those earrings.
    She used to be up in the night till I came home, and heat up dinner for me, and asked about my day. And told me to sleep well or else I will get dark circles…
    She made face packs for me, from the articles she used to read in the papers. She wrote my phone messages. Even the ones from boys 🙂
    Nothing makes me happier when people tell me that I am like her. Its my honour to be like her.

    For her I can go through anything hundred times over. Not just because she is not with me anymore….but for the mother she is and was to me.

    No matter how flawed I was. She loved me. And loving me unconditionally is not very easy.

    (sorry about the long comment. couldnt help it, memories just came flooding back..)



    • Pepper said

      Oh CW.. Just reading your comment made me feel fuzzy, happy and warm. I am glad you’ve experienced that kind of unconditional love from her. I know she isn’t there with you now, physically. But she has given you memories to cherish for life. They’re your strength now. And really, not everyone is fortunate enough to have such beautiful memories to hold on to. Lots of love and hugs to you.

  25. Like i told u earlier seems like a mommy blog 🙂

  26. Mahes said

    Awww.. so cute, peppy. Lovely pics even without the faces 🙂

  27. This post reminds me of those Santoor ads, and I am telling you, you and ur mom makes perfect models for that add. Beautiful pictures and you both look so cute together. And mint did an excellent job capturing and thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Yikes! We make perfect models for Santoor ads? 😀 That’s quite a compliment.
      Yes, I definitely think Mint did a good job of capturing the moments too. Thanks 🙂

  28. Wow, u and ur mummy look like sisters… hawt sisters 😉

  29. Deepa said

    Is it really your mom?? you guys can pass off as sisters. I was always envious of my friend’s moms who were stylish and wore jeans, mine never wore jeans, she was and still is always clad in her crisp cotton sarees which I found very boring 20 years ago, now, I am the one who is always flicking her sarees :)and can’t get enough of her envious collection. Yes, I totally agree with the role reversal, this was me 10 years ago when my parents visited me here in US.

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