A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

On wounds, cuts and bruises.

Posted by Pepper on August 8, 2011

We’ve all had our fair share of those. I call them markings of childhood. Between 5 and 6 pm is when I would run down to play, hopping on the stairs with abandon. We lived on the 3rd floor in a building with no elevator. On most days, running down the flight of stairs would be an activity that involved a lot of play. Obviously, I’ve had plenty of falls before I even got down to the act of actually playing. I wore those bruises with pride. Exhibiting them gave me some kind of a strange thrill. Now when I think of it, I know what that ‘strange thrill’ really was. It was a demonstration of my love for attention. In my world, bruises and wounds have always been synonymous with attention, love and care.

The other kids and and I would play in the small compound we had between the two old buildings that were a part of our ‘Cooperative Housing Society’. I’ve had the maximum number of falls during those years of my life. And each time I incurred a bruise, a huge fuss would be made by all the kids around me. Somebody would run up the stairs to inform my mother, who in turn would rush down to look into the situation. I would be asked to get home and would then be treated by my Grandmother, who was the designated caretaker at such times. She had a homemade remedy for almost all ailments and injuries. Using turmeric for its antiseptic properties on raw, bleeding wounds, smearing a dollop of fresh homemade ghee on dry, peeling skin, she had a solution for everything. I’ve often gone up to her with skinned knees and she has always had a natural and easy cure for me at hand. When I think of those injuries, I think of the love with which the wounds were dressed, the attention and pampering it bestowed upon me by my parents, the curiousness and concern shown by everybody in school, sometimes even making way for tiny privileges like not having to stand during the assembly. When I think of bruises and wounds from my past, I think of good times.

Even as I grew up, the fussing around that came with a new cut or a wound continued to excite me. All it took was a tiny scratch that resulted in a small blotch of blood. It wouldn’t even hurt much, but it would give rise to mayhem. The sister would gasp, and yell, ‘Mammaaaaa, Pappaaaa, she got hurtttt’. My mom would come charging in. I would be whisked away and made to put my hand under running water. My mom would run to fetch some cotton and some ice cubes, my dad would bring out the Dettol and a small tube of the ointment we used. All along, I’d use the customary line saying ‘Oh, it’s nothing!’ while they pranced around in panic. It is still the same ritual that is followed in my house, even if the injury is nothing more than a lame scratch. I should probably blame them for getting me used to such excessive fussing.

I moved here and things changed. It also marked the beginning of my adventures in the kitchen. Obviously, I kept hurting myself, a lot. I know that happens to all of us who are used to working with the knife swiftly. But either I am too careless, or I am destined to injure myself every single day. At any given point, my hands are graced by at least 3-4 cuts/bruises/burns. I add to my collection every single day. And each time it happens, it makes me a little sad that there is nobody to even look at it, let alone fuss over me.  Because on most days, I would be all alone at home when I’d puncture my index finger with the knife, or burn my hand. And then I would think about my past bruises and the love with which they were treated. But in the end, I would tell myself to grow up. These are minor things that happen to everybody and I should stop expecting the same kind of fussing over that I have been used to.

Two days ago, I was putting away an empty can, with open sharp edges when I cut my finger. This time, the tin actually managed to pierce through my flesh and the cut was really deep. I winced. The bleeding would not stop. I tried all that I could, but streaks of blood would keep emerging each time I wiped it clean. I started using paper napkins and ended up leaving a whole heap of blood soaked napkins in a corner. Mint was travelling on work that day. He was out of town and that made me feel even more miserable. After a few hours, the bleeding did subside. I was waiting for Mint to get back and take a look. To show him how much I bled, I didn’t even discard the blood soaked napkins. I know, I am dramatic like that.

When he did get back and see it, he did not panic. He was very calm and didn’t even cringe when he saw all that blood of mine. He simply kissed my finger, bandaged it and told me it would be okay. And if it wasn’t, then we would go to the doctor. He seemed so unaffected and unruffled that it set me off again. I almost burst into tears and told him, ‘You don’t care about me at all, I want my parents right now. They would have brought the roof down had they seen this’.  I know what I said hit him and he kept saying sorry since his calmness made me feel uncared for.

And then I thought about it and realised I was being unfair. He did do all that he could for my wounded finger at that time. And just because he did not provide me with the fussing over I was used to, I had no reason to accuse him of not caring for me and guilt tripping him in the process. I still wish he wasn’t so unmoved when he saw my wound. It disturbs me that he does not react the way my parents do. But then I realise that my parents overdid it. So this is probably their fault. I have to stop having similar expectations from Mint. He might not fuss over me when I hurt myself, but he does fuss over me and indulge me all the time anyway. So really, I have nothing to complain about. Lesson learnt – Stop and think before accusing him of something.

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44 Responses to “On wounds, cuts and bruises.”

  1. I got a deja vu reading this post! And I hope you have recovered from your previous post and are in much better spirits! 🙂
    -neha

    • Pepper said

      Hey thanks for checking Neha. I am totally okay now, but then I never face a consistent low. I’ll be totally fine and then I get hit by bouts of anxiety all of a sudden. For now I think am completely fine 🙂

  2. Scribby said

    I’m glad you’re learning with every incident taking place…that’s how life is and no one’s wrong here..they are parents and they doted their little princess with parental love…that’s how parents are..when they say being a parent is like letting your heart walk out of your body..this is what it means when your heart gets hurt 🙂 Whereas Mint is your husband and he is doting you with his love in a different way…but the fact remains…neither party loves you any less 🙂 and that’s what is important,isn’t it?

    as far as my childhood bruises and wounds are concerned urrrgh..don’t get me started! I always fell on my knees and I’ve so many marks on the two of them,gosh ! Every mark reminds me of the falls that I had 😉 but fun times those,nahi?

    and about fussing over my wounds..it was always dad…he panicked every time I came back with a wound and mamma had to keep her cool and handle the two of us 😉 you know my dad never came inside the doc’s cabin and sat outside because he could not tolerate me getting injected or get a dressing done on my knees 😛

    • Pepper said

      I am sure you understand it a lot better after becoming a parent Scribs 🙂

      Lol! Your dad sounds just like mine. Just that my mom was the same too. So imagine two people like that 😛

  3. snippetsnscribbles said

    My sister and I have never been fussed over 😀 Also, although both of us were active outdoorsy girls and cut/bruised ourselves quite a bit, our parents only said “oh, that’s nothing; you’ll be fine; it’s only a small scrape” 😀 (of course, they nursed it but that was it :D)
    G, however, is not like that. So when I see him fussing over me for even a small cut in the kitchen and he wants me to bandage it like I’ve broken an entire finger, it seems very strange and foreign for me! And he wont let me do anything else until I have nursed it like he says! It gets on my nerves sometimes but I see that he is only making me feel better (and in the process feel better himself :P)

  4. Sona said

    I hope the wound(s) have healed now,Pepper 🙂 I do the same with the better half so I can understand where you are coming from. Actually,if we actually think about it,it is an expectation flaw-I expect my husband to react the way i’ve been reacted to by my close family.This expectation,fortunately, is there MORE when there is a problem! Which complicates things further. I do realise its my fault but at that point ,the words just come flying out of my mouth before I can even think.
    So lesson learnt applies so much to me as well!
    Hugs Pepper,we’ll be okay 🙂
    Sona

  5. R's Mom said

    WHAT..but thats the rule # 1 of marriage..always accuse your husband for not caring enough! Of course Mint understands you dear..thoda dramatic toh honeka…but I can so relate to that cuts and bruises…on an average even I get like two cuts a day or something in the kitchen..and I toh have been married for 5 years and am one baache ki maa *Gulp* and I have these awesome wound marks on my legs…I wish I could wear short skirts..they would look so awesome :):)

    hugs dear and take care of that hand okie 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Lol! Of course I blame him R’s Mom. Just that I cool down and come and write blog posts as an after thought 😛
      You should wear skirts 😀

      • R's Mom said

        I do wear skirts which cover my legs..if I wear any shorter, the Mumbai darshan buses will come near our building to show the unique two legged elephant with brown fat legs to show to people 😉

        hope that wound is all better and PepperMint are fine again 🙂

        • Pepper said

          unique two legged elephant? LOL. Kya description hai 😛
          Cmon.. don’t bother so much. Wear a shorter skirt than what you usually do and come and meet me when I come to Mumbai 😀

  6. ashreya said

    be careful with sharp objects dear.. and take care of your wound..
    this happens in everybody’s life.. as we always remain as small kids for our parents and get their pampering . when we are with other ppl, who expect us to be like grown-up , we loose that childlike pampering given by our parents. i am sure even now, if you go back home and get hurt, ur parents would run for you. and certainly its not ur parents fault.every parent act like that.. 🙂
    today’s post was totally predictable. as in, reading first para i knew u hurt yourself. whne u said u put those napkins in corner instead of throwing dustbin, i got know that u wanted attention. seeing mints reaction i got know that u missed ur parents pampering..

    • Pepper said

      Yes I know my parents will still run around the same way if I get hurt, even today. That’s what I said in my post too. Perhaps all parents are like that, but I really think my parents totally overdid it. And now Mint has to bear the repercussions 😀
      Yes I thought it was all direct and predictable too 🙂

  7. Anusha said

    Hi,

    Nice post,reminds me of my childhood,me too was a drama queen when it came to cuts n bruises ;)n its perfectly fine to fuss over them :)take care !!!

  8. stuti said

    its difficult to let go the air that has nurtured us all along, nonetheless,.. it, invariably becomes a yardstick of our expectations from others.

  9. clever girl Pepper is 😀 the fault is either the mint’s or the parents’ 😉

    ps : how is the wound now?

    • Pepper said

      Haha, I am clever I know. But so are you. You seem to be the only one who noticed 😀
      Wound is okay as long as I don’t touch or disturb it.

  10. scorpria said

    Hehe…needless to say, I’ve been accustomed to the same thing — and initially, when Suraj did not react that way, I used to pout. And well, I have shamelessly been consistent in expecting all the fuss. It feels good. And I like it 😀 And i dont think i’ll ever change.

    Damn, I’ll be a terrible parent! 😦

  11. Nitya Karthik said

    Oh Pepper. Dont I know what you mean? Being the only child, I had the full attention and every fall, every scrape would be fussed over. Especially by Dad. Mom was more matter of fact and after a while, I used to go to the building doctor myself, get the wound dressed and come home with a huge bandage 🙂 I thought I was so grown up. And now living in the US, so far away from my parents, my Bombay, my home..it hurts a little more to know that I dont have anyone fussing much after me. Sure, my husband steps in but since he panics more, I have to calm down!

    I have just started reading your blog and I really like the way you write. Your posts strike a chord in me. All of them.

    -Nitya

    • Pepper said

      Hey Nitya. You from Bombay?! I give some extra love to people from there 😀
      Your husband panics right? Then what are you complaining about? Lol .
      I am glad you like this space. 🙂

      • Nitya Karthik said

        You got it, Bombay is in my blood, its been my home for 26 years. And I left a BIG chunk of me behind when I moved to the US. The things we do for love. Sigh.
        Arre no, picture someone running around asking what is wrong in a panicky voice which gets louder by each second, when you yourself are bleeding all over the kitchen towel – that’s my Karthik for you 🙂

        -N

  12. nisha said

    As a kid, whenever I had fever, my father would call me six times a day. Now, when I seem to have mild fever or a bad cold, my husband would hardly ever call frm work. And I tell him, ‘I wish I was in my hometown so that someone would care about me!’ He would do smaller things like bringing me food, giving me medicine.. but he would never call!

    Maybe we are grown ups now and we don’t need to be taken care of that much. Maybe we wish for what they don’t do more than appreciating what they do-do 🙂

    • Pepper said

      We are grown up now and certainly don’t need the same amount of care as earlier. But its hard to let go of something you are used to right? 🙂 You’re right though.. we should appreciate all that they do.

  13. I see R in the role of husband and father, and if Chucky and I are in similar situation he reacts differently for both of us. I keep complaining, I can’t imagine I am having a competition with my own daughter. R thinks I pamper Chucky and care for her more than him. So basically we blame each other. So now I think as parents we think our kids need us or rather more depended on us than as a spouse. I still remember I was 3-4 and had a boil on my bum, and I wanted my mom and dad to pick me all the time. Doesn’t that love so unconditional, I wanna see my dad and mom rt now. mee mee mee..

  14. ajay said

    You kept blood soaked napkins to show those to Mint! Cute. 🙂 But I like how calm Mint is. Guys should be that calm. 😀

  15. Ashwathy said

    You are right. You ARE being unfair to him. He was awfully nice about it.
    He was very calm and didn’t even cringe when he saw all that blood of mine. He simply kissed my finger, bandaged it and told me it would be okay. And if it wasn’t, then we would go to the doctor.
    Awww that’s so sweet 🙂

    Stop comparing everything he does, to your parents. That’s a different brand of people, and yes they did spoil you to an extent in this case. And even if they hadn’t fussed over as much, husbands fussing over you would be at a very different level from parents. So be happy with Mint and count your blessings 🙂

  16. Chhavi said

    I remember the bliss of being pampered by my folks whenever I received a tiny cut or a bruise. It felt heavenly. However, somewhere down the line, as I moved away from my house and started living with friends in a different city these incidents were simply brushed aside as minor mishaps. That hurts but I guess a point comes when all of us have to accept that no one can pamper us the way our parents used to do.

  17. Awww that’s so cute of Mint – to kiss your finger and bandage it. 🙂
    My mom used to fuss over me (not too much, just in the right proportions) before marriage. Not that I got that many cuts and bruises. After marriage, my mom has turned ultra cool. Whenever I get a cut or a burn, she tells me ‘Grow up, it’s just a cut/burn’, while the OH fusses over it. 😛

    • Pepper said

      Yeah. I want at least one person to be fussing over me. I wouldn’t mind it if my parents were around and Mint didn’t fuss over me. But now that my parents are far away, all pressures lie solely on him 😛

  18. Deboshree said

    Ha ha. That is a very human trait Pepper and something I am sure several of us have in some way or the other. All the same, I am glad the experience had a lesson. 😉

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