A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Nosey woes

Posted by Pepper on November 21, 2011

We had to go for dinner to Mint’s colleague’s place the other day. I was getting ready and I spent about 5 minutes staring at myself in the mirror – feeling depressed and sorry for myself. The cause for my misery was my nose. I have the most *terrible* nose in the history of noses.

It is long, but that is not the only problem. The bigger problem is that the stem of my nose has a weird dent. It looks kind of okay from the front, but take a look from the side and you will know what I mean. It makes me look like a cross between a parrot and a stork. As a result, I have the kind of nose that will make people recognise me even if they are in coma.

All my life, I’ve lived with people making fun of it. My dad would tell me my nose enters the room before I do. The other day my nose hit the door of the car. It hurt. It bloody hurt. And there, Mint told me he needs to check if the car has any dents. Very kind, I know.

So there I was. Staring at my reflection and feeling sorry for myself. Wondering if my nose was the result of some pichle janam ka shraf.  Curse from the previous birth? I could not do much, so I did the only thing I could really do. Called up my parents and blamed them. I called my dad first.

Pepper: Hi Pa. I called to tell you I hate you. I will blame my genes for the kind of nose I have. Do you even know how it is to live with a nose like that?
Dad: But what can I do? You look exactly like mama. You obviously got her genes. You should blame her.
Pepper: Ya that makes sense. But although I look like her, my nose doesn’t! Hers isn’t half as bad. So how do I know whose genes made my nose? It could be either of you.
Dad: Think about it. You look exactly like her. Even your nose is closer to hers than mine. I don’t even have any proof that you are my daughter. But I know you are mama’s daughter because you look like her, and because I saw her giving birth to you.
Pepper: Okay. So I will call and ask her then.

And so I called my mom.

Pepper: Hi mama. I called to tell you I hate you. I will blame my genes for the kind of nose I have. Do you even know how it is to live with a nose like that?
Mom: What am I supposed to do? You should blame papa.
Pepper: I already spoke to him. He says he can’t be blamed. I look like you. In fact, he doesn’t even know if I am his daughter. He has no proof. And I thought about it. Maybe he is right. How else will I have a nose like that? Tell me who my father is.
Mom: I have a lot of work to do. Bye.

And she hung up. I am still looking for people to blame. My mom and dad refuse to take responsibility. They only pass on the blame to each other. Now I only pray my future kids don’t inherit my nose.

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84 Responses to “Nosey woes”

  1. mehmudah said

    Hey I’m sure it’s not that bad! And you said its okay up front? And that’s when you make a first impression…

  2. Gayatri said

    Haha! Blame Mint. It’s the unwritten rule in a marriage. Blame the spouse for everything!

    PS – I have a massive nose. It’s huge and the tip is as round as a golf ball.

    • Ashwathy said

      Blame Mint?? How can he be blamed for this?? 😯
      Unless he bashed it up and left it the way it is now 😛 :mrgreen: Or if there are other ways by which Mint can make that nose look different….for example they tried something new and…umm…. That’s a whole new post in itself don’t u think? 😀

      Picks her chappals and runsssss for her life, fading into the distance

    • Pepper said

      Gayatri, how do I blame Mint for this really? 😀 .. I’ll be happy if I can come up with some logical reason.

      Ashwathy: “Or if there are other ways by which Mint can make that nose look different….for example they tried something new and…umm….”
      Come back! I won’t be flinging my chappals towards you 😛 How do you have such interesting ideas eh? We tried something new with my nose? C’mon.. we’re a boring old couple now 😛

      • Gayatri said

        Ashwathy – LOL! That is definitely possible. What a post that would be!

        Pepper – There is no logical reason, but it always works. In the past, I have blamed Carnivore for my chocolate cravings, jiggly thighs and the Chicago blizzard! Made me feel so much better 🙂

        • Ashwathy said

          LOL @ Gayatri. You blamed your spouse for your thighs…..ok you can put it this way. You made me eat all the food and didn’t restrict me hence I became chubby with jiggly thighs. But why blame him for the Chicago blizzard?? 😯 Does he work with the MET? 😀

          @Pepper: No you did not try anything with your nose. You tried something new, lost your balance and fell on your nose (and hence broke it, so it’s his fault)?? :mrgreen: heheheheh Oh wow I love my imagination! 😆

  3. RK said

    OMG…..I think we both have same kind of nose! mine looks ok from front but from side…..agghhh I am scared to see my own side pose.
    I cant use the latest SLR cameras (where u have to use the small window to take pics) bcoz they crush my nose!! ever heard of this anywhere? btw can u touch your tongue to tip of ur nose?!! :-)))
    I am done with blaming phase…now just accept whatever it is!

  4. Pixie said

    Awww! hugs!!
    your nose isnt as bad as you make it! 😀

    lolz!

  5. Anu said

    Aaw…

  6. gtoh said

    rofl. I exactly know what it means. I remember writing this line in one of my posts ‘ I have no big complaints except that my nose could have been little smaller.’ cheers..

  7. R's Mom said

    hahahahhahah! babes you have company….my nose looks as if it has been squashed by a giant centipede in the childhood and grown trying to cover up the squashiness…its looks hideous..and no I know exactly who the blame…the father of the family who gave a beautiful nose to their first born and forgot that the second born had to be given something nice as well…gah! to them…

    and just to clear your doubts..R’s nose is not exactly like mine..but threatens to be like yours 🙂

    Hugs darling hugs

    BTW..is Mint’s nose nice?

  8. bini said

    Is this how you torture your Parents:P:). I always thought my nose was to big for my face. I’ve found solace in blaming it on bad nose genes:)

  9. Seema said

    Pepper, I think you have biyuuuutifull eyes. Whenever I read your posts, I take a few seconds to stare at your eye and admire its beauty.

    Lol on what your dad said – “I don’t even have any proof that you are my daughter”

    I dunno if your nose is as terrible as you claim it to be. If it really is, then I really pray to God that your future kids don’ inherit it.

  10. DI said

    You are mad! I am still laughing at the conversation you had with your parents! And seriously, parrot and a stork? ROFL! My parents would have hung up halfway through the first sentence :P!

  11. Ashwathy said

    ROFL!!!! :mrgreen: 😆
    I needed that good laugh. Hahahahahah *insert yahoo rofl icon*

    You have a super cool dad and a even super cooler mom!! Period. 😀

    You actually called them – separately – all the way from USA just to tell them this?? 😯

    One day your kids will be like, grandpa who did mommy inherit the nose from? And your dad will actually tell them, kids ask your grandma. And I hope your kids don’t go around repeating this story to guests who come over to ur place!! :mrgreen: That solves their and your problem of entertainment!!!

    • Pepper said

      ROTFL. Your last line cracked me up.
      And yes, I call my parents and sis from USA all the time, for the stupidest stuff. Same with them. The other day my sis called me and said she was at Carter Road. How should she go to Hakim’s from here? I told her and we hung up. Later on I wondered why she had to make a call to the US to know that 😛

  12. Awww at least you have something for people to remember you by – ordinary joes like me…people just forget us…Sob Sob!

  13. 😀 you are hilarious.And your mom and dad are so cute 🙂

  14. RS said

    I would’ve loved to have a long,sharp nose! I have a short,pudgy nose and Chutku has a shorter,pudgier nose.Bah! Im sure he will call and curse me someday 😦

  15. KV said

    hahaha…. hahahaha … ROFL … :):)…

  16. awww come here.
    hugs from a girl who’s been teased that a truck ran over her nose.

  17. yaadayaada said

    There! There!!

  18. you sound sooo like my younger sister…forever distressed with her nose 😛
    Only in case of my sis, her nose is a bit too flat for her. And both my parents have really good noses. I used to always tease her when we were little saying she is adopted and was picked up randomly from the street.

  19. I too have a huge Nose as you said which walks ahead of me 🙂 I even thought I will do a plastic surgery. I mean it..

  20. priya said

    HahaaHaaaa! LOL I really don’t know what to say. Would you trust me if i said i have the exact same problem and all i do whenever i am infront of the mirror is, stretch it this way n that way (in all ways mostly :D) n see how i would ve looked if i had a straight perfect nose. It’s so funny and selfishly i am happy i have a common (I hope you forgive my attitude 😦 ) But, it’s just a comforting feeling to know that am not just the one 🙂

    My husband admires women wearing nose studs. He apparently feels it add beauty. Now imagine my situation:”( His sister got a nose stud for herself n took away all that credit (although she did look beautiful after she got her nose pierced, but you know the feeling that runs in me right?)

    If you have a dent, i have a bridge 😀 That’s what my dad calls it. He always made n makes fun of my nose about it’s flatness and unusual formation. I wonder why my sister doesn’t have that problem. I feel like an exception in the family.

    So, i totally understand your problem and can sense the feeling! It’s just not you Pepper. You have me 🙂

    • Pepper said

      But, but, why can’t you wear a nose stud? I wear one and I love it. I don’t care about how bad my nose is. I would suggest you don’t bother about it either 😀

  21. priya said

    Also, i forgot to mention about how crazy i was to do anything to get my nose to a good shape. A friend in hostel, told me about how indian film actresses apply some kinda foundation that would make their nose looked straight. Can you imagine the foolishness? And i went around looking for such a foundation. Now, when i think of the things i did i roll n laugh.

    Another thing i always do is, i suggest all new mommy friends to rub their babies’s noses. Someone once told me that grandparents usually do that to get the nose to a perfect shape. There re times when i questioned/ scolded my mom for not practicing that exercise on me. If only my granma or my mom did that to me instead of some stupid non-practical stuff most grand parents do, i would ve had a stud on my nose today 😦

    • Pepper said

      Really? If that is true I will make sure I spend hours rubbing the nose of my kids. But like I told you, go get that stud. Don’t bother about the nose.

    • Kanthu said

      So it there are others grand-parents too other than my own who “rub” babies’ nose to make them perfect. Wonderful..:-)

  22. Sam said

    I see you have hidden your nose in your profile pics.. clever:). My mom has a crooked nose too but thankfully I got my dads:) but still blame them for other features like my hair, mouth, height. But parents feel nice I guess that we look like them.

  23. Harini said

    I am so happy when I read this post. Dont me get me wrong, but I have a horrible horrible nose and have always complained abt it to anyone who cares to listen. My family ALWAYS tells me that I would be the only one in this planet who would obsess over a nose structure. I am soooo going to forward your post to my mom and dad to educate them on how a good nose is important 🙂 ..

    Btw hugs…I know exactly how you feel…I have spent a LOT of time in my life just observing other people’s noses. The first thing I’ll notice in any new person I see is their nose and I judge people’s beauty with their noses. Omg I sound weird to myself when I typed it out.. Sigh!!

  24. Kaavya said

    Guess what… I have the longest crooked looking nose ever. 😦 I remember being so depressed about this while at school that I had told everyone that when I start earning, I will get a nose plastic surgery with my first salary!! (Someone had told me about Sridevi doing a similar thing back then) .. 😀 But I look at Sridevi now, and am so glad, someone brought me to senses.. Else, imagine the face growing big, but nose remaining the same !!!

  25. Mayborngemini said

    Both my siblings and my dad hav ethat kind of nose we call it parrot nose. But they are all really god looking.Most of the people on my Dad’s side have that kind of noses. I don’t, i have my mothers nose..but when I was younger used to want a parront nose like my Dad.

  26. Nitya said

    Eh? Whatchu talking about girl. I didn see any hideous nose..then again with eyes like that, you could have no nose at all and people still wouldnt notice coz they would be busy admiring those eyes.

    Kitna drama.

    -Nitya

    • Pepper said

      You didn’t see? Maybe because we were sitting across each other and not beside. And do you know something? All my life, even my eyes have been made fun of! My family used to laugh and say I have such biggg eyes, I can scare anyone.
      Only during my teens did people start saying big is good. So you see, I have all reasons to do drama and complain.

  27. David Ratnasabapathy said

    That “weird dent” may give you a rare and special ability. Namely to read a book blindfolded. Try it. Tie a thin blindfold over your eyes. Then twist your right eye to peek across your nose through the dent and out the blindfold under your left eye! You may have to tilt your head a bit. It’s an amazing trick.

  28. Your post made me get up and go to the bathroom…err to take a good look at my nose in the mirror. 🙄 I couldn’t figure out if I have a good one or a bad one, so I called up the husband to ask 😛 and the reply he gave, made me realize how pressurized he is to make this 11 years of togetherness work 😥 The man said “I promise you that your nose will never ever be the reason for demanding a divorce” 😯

    Oye how come I didn’t notice the irregularity of your nose the two times we met eh?

  29. Scribby said

    oye kuch bhi! It’s not this bad that you make it sound,trust me,okay?

    muwah 😀

  30. Jack Point said

    I remember studying something in school. An ancient king in this country had described his perfect woman. She would have breasts shaped like king coconuts (you must be familiar with the orange coloured coconuts) and a nose shaped like a parrots beak, so you are obviously princess material.

  31. LOL. Sorry, but couldn’t control myself. Your dad sounds oh-so-cute.
    I have a nose that I hate too, so I can understand. 🙂

  32. Sands said

    Someday you and I need to meet to compare who got it worse. In my case I don’t have to call either mom or dad because I know who to blame. Mine is a carbon copy of my dad’s nose! It sucks that I can never get one of those lovely profile pictures i see people share with me all the time 😦

  33. Kanthu said

    Ah, same pinch. I too have a long nose and a little bump in the middle which is unnoticeable if not carefully noticed..;p And I dont blame any1, cos it kind of looks good for me. A prominent facial feature. And if at all I wanna blame some1, it would be my paternal-granddad for the long, sharp nose..:-)

    • Pepper said

      You’re lucky Kanthu. My bump is definitely not unnoticeable. It might not be visible from the front, but step on to the side and you will laugh. 😦

  34. Deboshree said

    Ha ha… I am so sorry to hear about your nose woes. But then at least you have one that stands out. You will never be lost in a crowd. 😀

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