2011 is over. Well, almost. Compared to 2010, I’ve had such an uneventful year. Last year was so full of action. I graduated, I got married, I moved twice in the same year, we took eight holidays together, yes eight! There was so much activity and action going on at all times. This year, the days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and the year has now come to an end without anything significant happening. Sure, we took a lot of holidays and had fun, but it has been a slow year on the whole.
Making decisions – that’s the one thing that has been giving us constant grief. We’ve had to make a lot of choices this year. Both Mint and I have to be the worst decision makers on earth. I have been known to turn small events into earth shattering dilemmas because I couldn’t decide. Mint, he is so much worse. He is an analyst by nature. He will take every single aspect and detail into consideration, dissect each aspect into a million shreds and then make himself miserable with all the microscopic comparisons.
Just a few days ago I read a post by Tan in which she describes her vegetable shopping experience. I compared it to our own experience and I could draw a lot of parallels. I realise Mint’s consumer behaviour is a reflection of his inherent analytic nature. No decision will ever be made before he knows every possible detail. So yes, he has to know the name of the vegetable, the kind, the quality, the price, the seasonal availability and ever other detail. Only then will he decide what he wants. He just has to know! Fortunately, at the Indian grocery stores here, every available detail is plastered above the said veggie. I don’t have to go through the embarrassment of him questioning the vendors.
Once he has decided which vegetable he wants to pick, he will scrutinize each piece individually until he has found the best ones to put in his bag. He really doesn’t care so much about the grocery, I know. But since the onus of making the decision lies on him, he puts an insane amount of pressure on himself to make the best choice. That is always the problem. The self inflicted pressure to make the most beneficial decision, not just in one aspect, but in every single aspect.
Sometime in the middle of this year, we had to make a big decision. Knowing Mint’s nature, I dreaded it. We tussled, struggled and sighed for months. Finally we took a call after a million sleepless nights, anxiety and dread. Then came another decision we had to make. I thought this one would have been easy. We simply had to choose between option A and option B, and both the options were known to be good. So we would be in a good place, no matter what we choose. But Mint tore his brain apart with the amount of analysis he did. This time I was so fed up of his ways, I wept. The pressure was rubbing off on me and I felt uneasy, scared and restless. I just abhor the pressure he puts on himself to choose the best.
Now, at the end of this year, we’re at the brink of making another humongous decision. This is the toughest one. I find it traumatic. Most of the times, my mind is foggy and I feel deflated. I hope we make the right decision, soon.
This year has tested my resilience. People constantly commented on my unemployed status, criticized my financial dependence, without knowing about the visa hassles that were tying me up. The constant emotional assaults made me feel ravaged for a long time. I did pick myself up eventually. I learnt to shrug it all. I found myself a job, despite the visa restrictions. I’m still struggling to stay afloat. In the end, I am happy, because I learnt a few truths about myself. But most importantly, I learnt one crucial fact – this world is a bitch. The sooner we learn to accept that, the more equipped we will be to deal with what comes our way.
Next year is going to be big. Our visa hassles are on the verge of being sorted. There could be other bigger surprises on the way. Goodbye 2011. You weren’t a very exciting year, but in a weird way, I enjoyed this uneventful phase. You gave me time to ponder and to grow, and for that, I am thankful.