A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

What I learnt

Posted by Pepper on December 29, 2011

2011 is over. Well, almost. Compared to 2010, I’ve had such an uneventful year. Last year was so full of action. I graduated, I got married, I moved twice in the same year, we took eight holidays together, yes eight! There was so much activity and action going on at all times. This year, the days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and the year has now come to an end without anything significant happening. Sure, we took a lot of holidays and had fun, but it has been a slow year on the whole.

Making decisions – that’s the one thing that has been giving us constant grief. We’ve had to make a lot of choices this year. Both Mint and I have to be the worst decision makers on earth. I have been known to turn small events into earth shattering dilemmas because I couldn’t decide. Mint, he is so much worse. He is an analyst by nature. He will take every single aspect and detail into consideration, dissect each aspect into a million shreds and then make himself miserable with all the microscopic comparisons.

Just a few days ago I read a post by Tan in which she describes her vegetable shopping experience. I compared it to our own experience and I could draw a lot of parallels. I realise Mint’s consumer behaviour is a reflection of his inherent analytic nature. No decision will ever be made before he knows every possible detail. So yes, he has to know the name of the vegetable, the kind, the quality, the price, the seasonal availability and ever other detail. Only then will he decide what he wants. He just has to know!  Fortunately, at the Indian grocery stores here, every available detail is plastered above the said veggie. I don’t have to go through the embarrassment of him questioning the vendors.

Once he has decided which vegetable he wants to pick, he will scrutinize each piece individually until he has found the best ones to put in his bag. He really doesn’t care so much about the grocery, I know. But since the onus of making the decision lies on him, he puts an insane amount of pressure on himself to make the best choice. That is always the problem. The self inflicted pressure to make the most beneficial decision, not just in one aspect, but in every single aspect.

Sometime in the middle of this year, we had to make a big decision. Knowing Mint’s nature, I dreaded it. We tussled, struggled and sighed for months. Finally we took a call after a million sleepless nights, anxiety and dread. Then came another decision we had to make. I thought this one would have been easy. We simply had to choose between option A and option B, and both the options were known to be good. So we would be in a good place, no matter what we choose.  But Mint tore his brain apart with the amount of analysis he did. This time I was so fed up of his ways, I wept. The pressure was rubbing off on me and I felt uneasy, scared and restless. I just abhor the pressure he puts on himself to choose the best.

Now, at the end of this year, we’re at the brink of making another humongous decision. This is the toughest one. I find it traumatic. Most of the times, my mind is foggy and I feel deflated. I hope we make the right decision, soon.

This year has tested my resilience.  People constantly commented on my unemployed status, criticized my financial dependence, without knowing about the visa hassles that were tying me up. The constant emotional assaults made me feel ravaged for a long time. I did pick myself up eventually. I learnt to shrug it all. I found myself a job, despite the visa restrictions. I’m still struggling to stay afloat. In the end, I am happy, because I learnt a few truths about myself.  But most importantly, I learnt one crucial fact  – this world is a bitch. The sooner we learn to accept that, the more equipped we will be to deal with what comes our way.

Next year is going to be big. Our visa hassles are on the verge of being sorted. There could be other bigger surprises on the way. Goodbye 2011. You weren’t a very exciting year, but in a weird way, I enjoyed this uneventful phase. You gave me time to ponder and to grow, and for that, I am thankful.

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70 Responses to “What I learnt”

  1. Gayatri said

    “This world is a bitch. The sooner we learn to accept that, the more equipped we will be to deal with what comes our way.” – Perfectly said. Despite the challenges, I think you’ve done very well. It is close to impossible to get a job with our visa status (ask me) and you did it!!! 🙂

    I hope 2012 gives you everything you want, and more 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Totally agree with you – getting a job with our visa is close to impossible. The one I currently have is another sad story.
      Wish you a happy 2012 too 🙂

  2. Sig said

    Yep…totally know the feeling. 2011 was exciting for me in some aspects but also totally uneventful in others.

    I’m ready to start 2012. Bring it ON!

  3. May 2012 be very exciting for you both – Pepper & Mint.

    Happy surprises and relaxing vacations..

    Eventful in a way that feels perfectly right 🙂

  4. Pixie said

    Hugs babes!
    I hope that everything – big and small work out for you guys! Happy new Year! Wishing you loads of happiness, love, peace and prosperity! 🙂

  5. Ashwathy said

    Hang in there babe. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going…..

    I’ve had a year of ups and downs and upheavals myself. So I know exactly what you feel like. In the end when it all works out, that’s when it feels worth it…

    • Pepper said

      Hey, you get married this year, and that ‘up’ makes up for a lot of ‘downs’ I am sure. 🙂
      I wouldn’t call this year of mine tough either. Thankfully, there were no disasters or calamities. It was just too blah at times.

      • Ashwathy said

        Because of that very ‘up’ I have had a lot of downs related to that, which I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t gone for it. Hence I say it’s all inter-connected 🙂
        Long story. Will explain when chat.

        • Pepper said

          That’s how things usually are. Everything is interconnected, lying in tangles. If one thing gets messy, it’s hard to detangle the rest 😐 Well anyway, hope 2012 has more ups than downs.
          And really, when do we ever chat?!

  6. su said

    if you’ve learnt to say i care a damn to the world and love your life anyway this year, i’d say the year was anything but uneventful. good luck for 2012 🙂

  7. R's Mom said

    To many more surprises and super duper decisions and of course more travelling..have a great year ahead Pepper-Mint….2011…well you can just forget it eh?

    Hugs 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Forget 2011? No, no! I don’t want to. That would mean forgetting my NY trip, my lovely Hawaiian vacation, my mom’s first visit to Amrika land and other fond moments that were a part of it. 2011 wasn’t a bad year for me. It was just an uneventful year for the most part.
      Thanks so much R’s Mom! Hope you have a very happy and fun filled 2012 too. Hugs back! 🙂

  8. Best of luck to the peppermint duo with all decisions to be made in 2012!!! A big hug and i am sure the duo will manage to find the strength to deal with the decision and its consequences.

    Happy new year babe!

  9. sayamaya said

    Just delurking to say I ve been very entertained for the last two days reading your blog. Very honest posts.

  10. Sigh! This sounds so much like my story. I take my own time at arriving at decisions – however small they might be.
    2011 was not a great year for me, unlike 2010. That said, I realise I did grow a lot in 2011.
    Looking forward to a bright, new and shining 2012!

    Good wishes to you and Mint for a happy 2012! 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Surprisingly, a lot of people have said the same thing. That 2011 wasn’t a great year. I guess 2012 will be a better year for most of us 🙂
      Best wishes to you guys too!

  11. Anusha said

    I can relate with the decision making part, I scrutinize and analyze so much that i get goosebumps whenever I am stuck in a decision making situation and the worst part is I just give in at the end of it because I can’t handle more…..
    Happy that you could sail through all the decision-making happening at your end 🙂

    Wish you a very happy new year !!!! 🙂

  12. “This world is a bitch” – how true! It took me a while to realize it too. This year has been half awesome and half uneventful for me. I hope 2012 is entirely awesome. I hope you have a great year, Pepper!

    Also, be happy that Mint is an analyst when it comes to making decisions. That is way better than taking blind decisions!

    Happy new year, Pepper! Have a fabulous one!

    • Pepper said

      You’re just 22 right? You realised the big truth a good 3 years before I did. That’s impressive.
      I know, analysing is better than taking blind decisions, but anything extreme is not good 🙂
      Hope you have a terrific year ahead too!

  13. soulmate said

    Thats how it is.. Events turn into uneventful in their own way… Hope 2012 is full of eventful events… 🙂

  14. VJ said

    Happy New Year to the peppermint family !
    Hope u have lots more surprises and lots more traveling and very less stress in 2012 !!

  15. Tanishka said

    The world really is a bitch and this is something 2010 had taught me when I went through the exact situation… I was unemployed for almost seven or eight months and there was nothing left that people could have said about being jobless or being financially dependent on my dad even after finishing my studies…. I can so relate to this feeling…

    But 2011 was great for me… It started with eventually finding a job of my liking in your and now my too fav city and since then their was noo looking back…. 🙂

    I hope 2012 brings a lot of happiness for all of us…

    Wish you and Mint a very very happy new year…. 🙂

  16. sharell said

    Oh, I really hope that most of the struggles are out of the way for you, and that 2012 is an easier year. Don’t you just wish people would butt out sometimes. I totally understand how people’s constant comments and judgements (emotional assaults) wear you down after a while. I suffer from constant paranoia in India! But everything we go through does make us stronger and more well equipped to deal with other things, I’ve definitely learned that. I used to be such an analytical anxious decision maker too. Thank goodness my whole move to India and other subsequent decisions put me through so much anxiety that I’ve become quite immune to it now. 😉 I remember when I was younger I was so worried that one bad decision would ruin the rest of my life, but it’s not like that.

    Anyway, wishing you all the best for 2012. Hope that lots of good things will come your way! And if it all starts getting too much for you and you need a laugh, put on a moustache! 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Thanks so much Sharell! I totally understand the kind of stuff you’ve to go through when you’re living in India. Everywhere, people around you are inquisitive, and mostly insensitive. But then like you say, your move to India taught you a lot and made you immune to such stuff 😀
      LOL! The moustache always cheers me up. Who cares if people think we’re ‘mental’? 🙂

  17. Deboshree said

    Uneventful is great sometimes… when the ‘events’ are not to your liking. 😀 Hope you have a splendid year ahead Pepper!

  18. Seems the year has been a mixed bag but I hope coming times are better for you. In any marraige there are initial teething problems, give time it will be over soon

    • Pepper said

      Don’t know how you got the impression about my marriage having teething problems. I don’t remember saying any such thing 🙂 It’s the other crap that has made things a little messy. My marriage is perhaps the one thing that has kept me strong.

  19. Chiquita said

    You’ve got me crazy curious with all these decisions you’re talking about. Are they secrets or have I missed something here?
    I’m also dying to know about the surprises next year 🙂
    2011 with most people I think ended up being a little dull….wishing you a great 2012 with the best decisions ever 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Don’t think I’ve written about any of that. I will write about the surprise sometime, if it materializes.
      Hope you receive everything you’ve been waiting for in 2012 🙂

  20. Wish you a dhamaal 2012 Pepps 😀

  21. binpin said

    With each passing year, we become more resilient to life:). You also made some awesome blog friends in 2011:)

  22. wishing a very happy new year to you and mint! rock on, you two! 🙂

  23. RS said

    PepperMint,

    Wish you a Happening – more travel and more easier decisions in 2012! Have a blast!

  24. scorpria said

    Wish you an aaaaaaawesome 2012, Peppy!
    I had an uneventful 2011 too…so I look forward to 2012 all the more.

  25. Smita said

    Hmmmm all said & done the year has now gone by and left you a lot wiser, right??

    So WIsh You a Very Happy New Yaer, amy all your wishes come true 🙂

  26. vethal said

    I came across your blog on the night of 31str dec and read a whole lot till the wee hrs of morning.

  27. Wish you and Mint a very happy and prosperous New Year. I hope you both able to take decision and stay happy with the same. I can so relate to this post. R is pretty much like Mint, he takes long time to decide and even after the decision he keeps wondering if he has taken the best decision. Me on the other hand I can decide quick and I never regret once I decide, Life is all abt up and down and we can’t always take the best decision rt? Good luck to you both..

    • Pepper said

      Wish you, R and Chucky a wonderful year too. Yes, that is exactly my point too. Life is full of ups and downs. We all make mistakes and its okay. We can’t always foresee the future and make the best decision, so why stress so much. I wish Mint would understand.

  28. Nisha said

    wish u all the strength and smartness to make the right decisions in 2012!! Have fun :))

  29. Childwoman said

    Happy New Year. Hope this year is good to you.

  30. Bikram said

    Happy new year .. and wishing everything works out fine .. and when it does you will forget all the bad things of 2011 🙂

    all the best in all the decisions .. I sure you and mint will take the right one ..

  31. Scribby said

    Hugs is all I have to say here..rest at the other side 🙂

  32. Seema said

    I will always remember this line – “this world is a bitch. The sooner we learn to accept that, the more equipped we will be to deal with what comes our way” when the going gets tough for me. Well said!

    All the best to you for many more decisions to take and hope 2012.

    Baap re, Mint has to know it all eh? No wonder he peels the skin off his fingers!

    • Pepper said

      Oh you’re so right. His skin pulling out has all to do with the constant drama going on in his head. One day I will just smash his brain and end it all 😛

  33. Seema said

    Hope 2012 will be eventful and fun-filled for PepperMint duo 😀

  34. hopeless! said

    Hello! Have recently been reading your blog and i must say you’re a really interesting person! 2011 was a really baddd year for me too (was unemployed and faced hell from unimportant NOSY people).

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