A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Chapter 12 of my life.

Posted by Pepper on January 30, 2012

It’s late at night. I sit on my bed, listening to dreamy Hindi songs on my laptop. I see Mint next to me, working on his laptop. We exchange smiles and kisses every once in a while. Melodic notes from ‘Roja‘ fill the air. I look at my surrounding. The room is messy. We lie here, undisturbed by the disorderliness. This is the home we have built, far away in a world that belongs just to us. We are the sole rulers of this place. I look around once more. The familiarity of my surrounding is comforting.

And yet, we are going to abandon this world that we govern. Soon, we are going to move out of this house we so lovingly built. We are going to move out of this city that felt just like home. We are going to move out of this country that I have grown to love. And that, is the toughest decision we have made so far. We are moving back to India. It’s time I said it here. I thought if I didn’t put it on my blog now, I never will.

It’s been a hard choice. One that we chewed over for a long, long time. It would have been a lot simpler had I not loved this place the way I do. India is a country that I have started fearing. The lack of law and order frustrates me. The corruption makes me feel hopeless.  The everyday difficulties, the lack of efficiency, the sexist mindsets, the rigid views, the exploitative work culture, the recurring hardships, the lack of safety, the interference, it all made me question myself a million times. Do I really want to go back to that place? I love my life here, it is easy and hassle free. To give up this smooth and carefree life and jump into the chaos requires a strong gut.

The questioning made me feel uneasy. I did not want to confront my emotions, but it had to be done. As much as I love my life here, I knew I couldn’t be here forever. Ultimately, I knew I had to return to my family. I couldn’t be gone for good. It is sad that I have now started fearing my own country. The chaos and the lack of order that I once considered to be a very normal part of my life, now agitates me a lot more than it ever did. Maybe because living out of my country has been a reality check. Living in India had made me too immune to the negativity there. I now know how good it can get. This exposure to the good has made me less tolerant of the ugly realities that are a part of everyday India. On second thoughts, maybe that is a good thing. Maybe that will give me the added motivation to do my bit for my own country. Once I go back, I know I will resist the bad, instead of accepting it the way I did earlier. Maybe that will bring about some positive changes.

I don’t want to sound noble. My motive for moving back is not patriotic. I am only moving back to be close to my family. The physical distance is something I could not deal with. And I realised, the longer I stay, the harder it will be to go back. Just a few years away and the thought of returning to my country fills me with fright. I can only imagine how much more difficult the transition would be if I waited longer. The pain of leaving this place was inevitable. The sooner I get through with it, the better.

To say I am scared would be an understatement. Especially because moving back to India was not Mint’s preferred option. He is only doing it because that is what makes me happy. He has been away for too many years now. I worry about him. I worry he will find it too hard to get used to the Indian way of life. I am worried about the easy access my in laws will have to our lives. I am worried I will find it too hard to deal with the insanity that is India. I am scared and worried, yes, but more than that, I am excited.

I knew I would go back home someday. The someday is now in sight. It is less than 2 months away. The prospects excite me. India has a lot of positives. I can feel the thrill. The 2 BFFS had tears of joy when I told them. The sister has been counting days. My parents are ecstatic. A lot of action and excitement awaits us. Big changes lie ahead. And as usual, I am going to come back to this page to chronicle my journey and my experiences. All of you, please send us your good wishes, and say yay!

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145 Responses to “Chapter 12 of my life.”

  1. R's Mom said

    Yayyayayyay!

    okie 🙂

    Hugs darling..we all abhore changes…at least I do…and I can so understand whats in your mind…but there is so much to look forward to eh?

    Take care and enjoy the 2 months there 🙂

  2. Vrushali said

    I came here a few months back. Even though I did came here to live just for a while it scares me a lot to go back to India. But ya family is the reason I’d want to go back. So Good Luck to you both. Everything will be great once you get there, As love & support of your family will give you the strength .

    • Pepper said

      It’s easy to get used to the life in here just a few months, isn’t it? And then the thought of giving it all up hurts, a little. But then my desire to be with my family triumphs at the end of the day. Thanks Vrushali.

  3. Neha said

    Wish u good wishes 🙂 , sometimes changes are for good !

  4. hAAthi said

    OMG that is such awesome news! Much as I sense the trepidation in your voice (erm, words?) I think a move like this is always good. Because it is the kind of move that brings you closer to yours and your own. To your support system. To people you love, and who love you back. To people you need, and who need you. To your family. And thats the kind of move that can’t fail.

    I agree, the chaos and madness of India is scary. It scares the daylights out of me. And I live here. In fact the husband and I have sworn that the next move for us will be away form here. Out of India. Where? I don’t know yet.

    But this isn’t about me. Good luck, good wishes, and lots of love. Im sure this will be awesome!

    • Pepper said

      I loved your comment. India is scary, and one should only live there (or like in our case, move back there), if one really and truly wants to. Good luck to you too babe!

  5. Vani said

    Hi Pepper, I am a regular reader of your blog. Delurking for the first time. I think this is one of the toughest decisions you have made. Wish you both good luck and may the positives (being in India) you have here always be more than the negatives. If things bother so much you can always have the option to return back back to the US. It’s always good to try and decide than having apprehensions. Please keep writing. I admire your blogspace and your opinions. You can see I have been visiting almost everyday.

    • Vani said

      P.S. – Would you mind clarifying what chapter 12 means. I thought it was chapter 2

    • Pepper said

      Thanks so much Vani. It’s been a big decision, one that I’ve been wanting to make for a long time. We’ll see how it goes. If either of us are really unhappy there, we can consider plan B. For now, I am just excited.

      Chapter 12 is just random. I haven’t documented the first few chapters of my life. My childhood, the loss of my grandparents, entry of the BFFs in my life, us moving to another home when I was 18, meeting the ex boyfriend, going through a bitter break up, meeting Mint moving to UK, moving to the US, all those are significant chapters. Moving back to India is the beginning of a new one. 12 seemed like an appropriate number 🙂

  6. Sig said

    Ahhhh darling – that’s a huge step. Proud of you making a tough decision – I know it cannot have been easy. One thing – don’t lose your memories, your US way of life over there – what I mean is – don’t forget the years and time you spent here. It’s as much a part of you as India is…

    Good luck with the upcoming move! Look forward to hearing about your journey here 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Ofcourse! My life in this country, and for that matter this country itself is an irreplaceable part of me. I love USA and there are no two ways about that. Thanks Sig!

  7. yoges said

    Hi pepper, I’ve been a silent reader but just had to comment this time. I didn’t think you’d move back to India given how nice you have it there but you are..It must have been very hard to make this decision. I wish you all the best..I’m not sure I’d have the courage to make the same decision if I were in your shoes.

  8. vethal said

    will you be in BLR pepper. I would love to meet you.

  9. Scribby said

    YAY 🙂 the thought of possibly meeting you now is making me all happy 🙂

    your worries and doubts are very natural and you’re right,there would be resistance but you’ll get through after you’ll have your family and friends around and then this is where you were born and brought up so you’ll fall in the line with a new perspective 🙂

    welcome home dear! all the very best for this huge transition to you and Mint too 🙂

    HUGS

    • Pepper said

      I will get through and I don’t have any doubts about that. India is my own country after all. I am more worried about Mint. *fingers crossed for now* 🙂
      Thanks Scribby!

  10. That’s such an awesome news and am in awe with your decision coz I know exactly how it feels to leave all this freedom. I can very well relate to all that you have wrote. Mint is such a sweetheart to hold your hands and walk the way you want to go 🙂

    Oye…..I want to meet you before you go ok?? I know it’s my fault that we couldn’t catch up…but I will make sure we do meet again.

    • Pepper said

      You know, fortunately, our move back to India from the way I see it, won’t come with a loss of freedom. To an extent, I might have people stepping on my toes, but that happens here too. Atleast I won’t be having anybody dictating terms to me. Maybe that knowledge made it easier. Thanks 🙂

      Yes, we should meet again. I don’t call you cos you seem too busy entertaining guests and/or chasing your husband and your boy 😀 But let’s plan something before I leave.

  11. Preethi said

    First of all, let me applaud you for the decision that you have made.

    Moving back to India is not an easy decision at all, especially after having stayed in a country like USA and getting used to the easy way of life. I am not talking about money here, as you said the hassle free life is something difficult to get in India. This is something that we (hubby and I) have been struggling for a long time and still not able to come to a decision.

    You are right about the part that the longer you stay away from your country, the more difiicult it is to move back.

    I sincerely hope and pray that you have a smooth transition moving back to India and wish you all the happiness. I am so so happy for you 🙂

    • Pepper said

      I don’t blame you for not being able to make a decision. It is NOT easy. It’s really not about the money. It’s about the convenience and the way of life. But then again, my family in India, is the biggest positive for me. I am raring to go. Thanks for the wishes. 🙂

  12. tinu said

    Welcome back dear….

  13. Meira said

    Yayy!
    All the best. It will be fun setting up a home again. Do let me know if you’re going to be anywhere in NCR. Will be able to pass on contacts for acco etc 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Oh thanks so much! Don’t think I will be around the NCR. Atleast not for a while, but then you never know. If I am around there, I know whom to bug. Thanks once again 🙂

  14. KB said

    REALLY??!! ‘Big changes lie ahead’ is such an understatement.. But when you know it is the right decision, why delay… Best wishes coming your way!!

  15. Bikram said

    I am sure you will be fine. Once you settle down and with friends and family it will all be fine.

    All the best with the move. Regarding the apprehensions well after some time all that will become a norm.

    Take care

  16. Wish you peace and happiness in everything you do Pepper 🙂

  17. All the best! Sending tons of good wishes your way 🙂

  18. I have a close friend who moved back recently after 10 years in the US. I was so excited about her moving back, but now I see her and her hubby struggle to come to terms with the harsh realities of Indian life.
    At times I feel for them and sometimes when they crib and complain, I get frustrated with the constant complaining.
    But I guess it will take them time and they are already doing their little bit to chip in with making a positive difference in india( they both are eco fanatics.She volunteers for a tree planting org and her hubby plans to start a consultancy to help businesses become more environmental friendly)
    Like you mentioned, maybe living in a better country will also prompt you also to do something positive once you are back in India.
    All the best for your move.

    • Pepper said

      That’s the thing I have told myself – I won’t compare the two places. I don’t know if that is a very realistic expectation though. Comparisons are inevitable. As long as we don’t crib about India constantly. Earlier, I hated people who complained all the time. Why did you move there if you hate the place so much? Weren’t you prepared for this? But now I am a kinder. I don’t judge as much. It’s hard for people to deal with such massive changes. If your friends are doing their bit by volunteering, they are directing their energy in the right direction. That’s what matters in the end, right?

  19. Anu said

    Hi Pepper,
    One can understand your feelings at this point and time. However, look at it in this light. Your # 1 reason of going back to India is to be close to your family. Most of us who came to the US had the very same thought. But then life took its course, a job happened, babies happened, buying a house happened… and before you knew it we were tied to this country.

    For those choosing to return, there is no better time than this stage in your life to do so.

    Hope this comment helps.

    Anu

    • Pepper said

      I’ve known people who have moved at all stages. Jobs can be changed. Homes can be sold. Mint will have to quit his job too. We’ve to sell a lot of our stuff too. Not home, but we have a lot of other investments that are tied to this place. I think it’s all okay. But kids? I don’t know if its easy to uproot them. Even that would be okay if they are a few years old. Not beyond a certain age though. For us, I think its relatively easier to move without kids, more than anything else.

  20. Smitha said

    All the best, Pepper!! I know exactly how you feel, because I am at the same phase. We are moving back in July thus year, and I have been having the same sort of feelings. Despite all the misgivings, the strongest feeling is excitement!!! Alll the best again!

  21. chronicworrier said

    That’s a huge step indeed. Wishing you the very, very best with the move, and the settling in.

  22. Good for you! Am happy that you are finally moving, and being where you want to be.

    Every move is fraught with uncertainty and, thus, fear and excitement. I wish you all the very best with the transition. 🙂

  23. Ramya said

    Pepper… I’ve been an anonymous reader of ur blog for many months now… Just thought I should really wish u this day for this post… All the very very best… May God give u all the strengths u need to be put up with ur family… Hugs

  24. Pal said

    Hi Pepper, must congratulate you on your brave decision. It is so for all of the reasons you already mentioned in your post. I do realize the that from the point of view of living close to your parents and re-starting your career (perhaps that’s an unsaid intent too…having read through your entire journey so far) it seems to be the best decision. Only from my exp it’s not always so easy. Let me fall back on my personal exp… Raised by a single mother and with an older sister settled abroad, I’d always promised myself that I’d be the one that would live close to my mother in our hometown and take on the mantle of the business my mother so painstakingly started. I did just that after a year of marriage under somewhat similar circumstances uprooting my hubby from a well settled career in another city. It worked for a year plus but then career pressures in India are another thing altogether. My husband had to move away from the city after a while as he just did not have any scope of growth in his career in my home city after a point. We stayed apart for sometime but it just got too messy after a point and my mom herself told me my place was with my partner. We luckily stayed in a city that was 3 hrs drive away from my Mom’s for 4 yrs after that and now I have moved to Singapore secure in the knowledge that I can still be with her within hrs if the need arises. My point of saying all this being that as much as we want to be there for our loved ones, life’s trajectory cannot always ensure that without heavy compromise. And it always has to be both the partners happiness or the cracks show up after a while…sorry for the long comment. I am in no way undermining your decision as we all have to live our decisions to REALLY know if they are the best thing we ever did 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Restarting my career is not one of the motives to move back. That could be done here too. The visa issues that were holding me back are now almost resolved. So I could have very well stayed back and worked here. Reasons for moving back revolve around my family, only. I agree, your place is with your partner. I am just doing my best right now to have my partner and my family in the same place. I do realise that it cannot be ensured without heavy compromises. To me, the compromises don’t seem too big. Mint is agreeable and can be happy there too. But I couldn’t have been happy here forever. If he isn’t able to to adapt to India, then we will look at other alternatives.

      I am happy you found a place which is just a few hours away from your mom. Ultimately, we just need to find a place in which we feel peaceful 🙂

  25. VJ said

    That’s awesome Pepper !!! Very happy for you and can feel the excitement in the last para !!
    Its must be so good to action all that you have been saying about moving closer to your parents!!!
    All the very best !
    Not sure why but I am all excited about u moving 🙂

  26. Shruti said

    That is awesome news…..Can I just say I am so jealous of you? Or is that too selfish…

    Closer to family always wins over the challenges of living in India…So excited for you 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Thanks a lot Shruti. Sure, you can definitely say you are jealous of me. I know I would say that had I read this post on somebody else’s blog 🙂

  27. Kanthu said

    Do not worry. It wont be that hard. Although I have never been in your situation to comfort you or make you feel better, I have had similar experiences. Human nature is such that, it will get accustomed to the surroundings pretty fast. Also the familiarity of India will make it easier for you guys, lets hope. And finally, WELCOME BACK..:-)

  28. Nitya said

    I am so so happy for you Pepper. Go forth, only the best will come to you.

    Milte hain phir apne Bombay main, ok?

    xoxo
    Nutty

  29. Meenu said

    Yay Yay and more yay!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sure you guys are gonna have a ball in India once you get over the initial hiccups. I can totally relate to your apprehensiveness but then i am sure you guys will find numerous ways to make yourselves happy wherever you are!!!!!
    PS We too have decided to move back towards the end of this year and boy i am super excited!!!!!!!! Can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Titaxy said

    Best wishes to PepperMint. Sending a lot of good wishes your way, Pepper.

  31. Deepa said

    Wow!!! Congratulations!!! We are in the same boat. We have been living in US since 17 years (me – 12, hubby – 17), we have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. We had been to Bangalore and came back 2 weeks ago, after the way my kids interacted with their grand parents, their mamas, mami and scores of other cousins, we felt bad that we were depriving them of all that and more. My MIL is in the last stages of cancer, she is an amazing human being and I love her like my own mom, she and I are very close. It is very hard for me that we have not been with her in this journey, that is another reason for us to take the plunge. Even I can’t stand the corruption, the difficulties and all, but somehow the feeling of being close to your family out weighs everything. Good luck to you girl, I seriously hope you go to Mumbai instead of Chennai. Lots of best wishes to you and your hubby for your move.

    • Pepper said

      Hey Deepa! I must say you are very brave. Considering to move back after you’ve lived here for more than 10 years must be really hard. If you’ve decided to go ahead with it, I would suggest you do it soon. The 7 year old might be able to fit into India now, but beyond that, it will be very hard on him/her. Best wishes to your MIL. I know how you feel. The corruption and other difficulties are not as hard to deal with when we have our family around. And yes, I hope I live in Mumbai instead of Chennai too. Thanks for the lovely wishes 🙂

  32. shital said

    So You did make a decision. I remember reading your previous posts about some decisions. Now I know the context. Its huge and its awesome. Wish you all the best for Chapter 12 of your life

  33. Nikita said

    Yay.. i m so excited..i wasnt expecting this news. At all. Not this sooner. But all the best both of you, it wont be that bad as you are imagining.
    Good luck guys!!!

  34. Roxana said

    Yayyyy! I am happy for you. This means that sometime sooner or later you’ll visit Madras and then you can meet SAB, Proton and then me! 😀
    Changes are never easy; but for the sheer peace of mind and the happiness that being close to family is going to get you, I am sure it’s going to be worth the while. All the very best.

    • Pepper said

      You are so right. I know I am not sweating over it because at the end of the day I will have what I want most – my family.
      And yes, most definitely. Trips to Madras will keep happening every now and then once we move back. My visits there are usually very dull. I stay at home with my MIL all day. I can’t get out cos I don’t know the roads and they are too scared to let me go, given my record of getting lost everywhere. I don’t know the language of the place, and that’s another cause for concern. Neither do I have any friends in that city. Needless to say, I dislike my trips there because I am only stuck at home for weeks, without much company. So I am counting on you guys for some fun!

  35. Nisha said

    Tough decision indeed! I would never ever go back unless circumstances force us to…
    Maybe we are lucky that we live in the Middle East and can visit family and friends every few months.. this is one reason I find it so comfortable here. I can face the corruption, the discomfort, but what I cannot manage is the extended family obligations. And so, I wish you all the best for the same 🙂

    • Pepper said

      I find it harder to deal with the corruption and the discomfort. I don’t have too many family obligations. And even if I did, I don’t think I care too much. The corruption on the other hand is something that affects your everyday life, something that you don’t know how to avoid. But well, thank you so much anyway. I am hoping India sees some positive changes after my arrival 😀

  36. Tanishka said

    Yayy…. This means we would be meeting soon…. 🙂
    Welcome back Peppy n Mint… 🙂

  37. Harini said

    This sure is a very brave decision to make. I am a strong believer of ‘everything happens for a reason’ so I am confident this move is the right thing for you and mint. I sincerely hope you both are very happy in India as you guys are now. Best wishes 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Thanks Harini. I know I will be very happy and fulfilled as long as I am close to my family. And Mint says he will be happy as long as I am. So it is a win win either way 🙂

  38. binpin said

    Can I start bawling my eyes out?:(

  39. SK said

    Good luck and good wishes Pepper! Looking forward to reading your RTI observations and musings!

  40. yay! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  41. Ashwathy said

    Ok there’s too much to say which can be recorded in a comment. Catch you on email! 🙂

  42. Bhavani said

    Woow This is huge Pepper…but kudos to you to make this decision and All the very bestest:)) to you guys…

    You know the funny thing..I have not met you etc..but have to come to know you through your blog only…but suddenly I felt sad that you were leaving the Bay Area…dont know why…(BTW I am from the Bay Area too)

    So please dont abandon the blog and us once you go back ok?? Promise??

    Take care and enjoy your last few days here….

    -Bhavani

    • Pepper said

      I know what you mean Bhavani 🙂 I felt really sad when I read about a blogger moving out of Bombay, even though I didn’t live in that city anymore! It felt like a close person is leaving my city. Blogs do that to us.

      You’re asking me not to abandon the blog once I go back? You’re kidding me! I will be overflowing with things to say. I think there’s a bigger chance you will abandon the blog because of the excessive posts..

  43. RK said

    Good Luck with everything, Pepper & Mint!

  44. Somewhere down below, I knew this was coming..but, but, never expected it to be NOW!

    While it makes me a little sad that you’ll not be around for some more evenings out together, I am definitely excited for you 🙂

    As you said, it does take a lot of gut to make this decision, more so if you have to start all over from scratch again.

    But, the freedom of living in your own country, never having to worry about the blasted visa status – sigh! 😀

    Wish you the best Pepper and Mint! Good wishes all the way.

    P.S: We need to meet up before you leave
    P.P.S: I secretly aspire to go back too..I really want to..only wish the husband thought that way too 😦

    • Pepper said

      I told you, it’s strange that we’re leaving at a time when we’ve been freed of the blasted visa issues. Had we continued to live here, we wouldn’t have had to worry about that stuff either, because of our Green Card. But well.. going back has too many ups from what I see!
      Thank you AHK. We’ll definitely meet before I leave. I have to see Paapu!
      And yes, I know how difficult it is to not be on the same page as your partner where this issue is concerned. Don’t worry though, you’ll eventually work out a way of finding your peace 🙂

  45. CA said

    All the best with the move !!

  46. ajay said

    All the best to PepperMint. 🙂

  47. popbiscuit said

    Wow..this is incredibly brave,Pepper. But guess making the decision is half the battle (that’s what I keep telling myself atleast, once I decide and make up mind and set a date , the rest will fall into place) …hats off on geting the tough decision out of the wayt! Good luck for the move, not going to be easy of course, but then what in life is !? Look forward to reading about your journey!

    • Pepper said

      You’re right. Making the decision is the toughest part. Once you know what side of the fence you stand on, moving ahead is not as painful. Thank you 🙂

  48. yaadayaada said

    Good Luck you brave woman!! I am sure you will be fine!! Have fun!! Have helped moved 3 friends (Yes, it is getting lonely out here!), all of them doing fine although the move was painful!

    • Pepper said

      Oh. I know a lot of people who have moved back in the last few months too. Wonder what the motivating factors for other people are.
      Thankyou YY. I am more worried about the process of moving. That, like you said, will be more painful than the actual move itself.

      • yaadayaada said

        For my friends, it was mainly the parents. That was the motivating factor. All of them had kids too. The kids have settled very well and in their words they “NEVER” want to come back to San Jose because they have lot of friends in India and it is much more fun!! 🙂 With good friends and lot of planning, the process can be made a little less painful. So I am sure you will be fine!

        • Pepper said

          Oh, that’s so good to hear. Sometimes I think kids actually adapt faster than adults though, though we think otherwise 🙂
          I know, planning it well will make things a lot easier for us. The problem is that both of us are last minute workers. Anyway, this time we really cannot afford to mess up. Hopefully, we’ll be fine. 🙂

  49. Rambler said

    Welcome back to our country.. feels good to see people choosing “our” over things which start to feel like “my”

    oh btw.. regarding being scared..at times why do we feel scared by the ‘known’ rather than the unknown

  50. Shamim said

    Hi Pepper! Congrats on your upcoming move! You and Mint have given this a lot of thought it seems and like you said it takes a brave person to remove oneself from an easy life here in the US and put oneself in a challenging, rough way of life. I have truly enjoyed your blog these past few months! After reading about your experience with the Dialog in the Dark exhibition, I made sure to go to it the very first time I visited NYC last October (and it was wonderful)! After getting to know you through your blog, you seem like someone I could be friends with. Have a wonderful evening! Good luck with everything:-)

    • Pepper said

      We certainly did give it a lot of thought, before arriving at a decision. Oh, I am glad you enjoyed Dialog in the Dark! It was a very worthwhile experience for me. And thanks for the lovely words 🙂

  51. This is a big step for you. But I can see that you were always prepared for this. And this is what you absolutely want, right? Good for you! I hope you have all the luck in the world. You deserve it! 🙂

  52. YAY Yay…while your reasons maynot be patriotic,,,let me just say “ghar aaja pardesi tera desh bulaye re”….We get to meet hopefully and i will keep my toes out of harms way!

  53. Smita said

    Yay!!! Welcome back 🙂

    And despite all the negatives yeh itni bhi buri jagah nahin hai 🙂

  54. Homecooked said

    Wow! All the best !!! Give a big kiss to Bombay for me 🙂

  55. darkcomedy said

    Wow! Awesome news. Understand why you sound skeptical, but will pray and hope that everything works out once you move. I have cousins and friends who tell me that it’s impossible for them to adapt to India again (some because of their kids’ education and upbringing, others for the reasons you mentioned) but the ones who did manage to move don’t regret it thus far. Sure, my one crazy cousin yells at everyone that drives on the wrong side without fail, but even she’s coming around 😀

    Lots of good wishes to Mint and you. Keep us posted.

    • Pepper said

      Thanks! I have friends who tell me it is impossible for them to adapt to India again too. I think it just depends on your mindset, and how much you want it. Your cousin is funny, but I don’t want to laugh at her so soon 😀 I’ll wait till I get to that stage myself and see how I deal with that. Lol.

  56. s said

    Best wishes on you rmove, We moved back for a couple of years but are now back int he US. We knew the move back was for a couple of years only and so it was much easier .
    I’d only say to you, don’t compare, don’t think to much of trying to live like you are int he us. India has it’s own set of challenges but it is also easy to assimilate if you really want to.

    I think i could have managed to stay there for good but my husband havinglived here for a long time could not adjust, i think the work atmosphere there is v frustrating after working here. being a homemaker is a piece of cake there.

    I really saw a big change in his stress level an din turn temperment and life and decided that no amount of family could make up for him suffering.

    i hope it’s easy on mint and most especially in his work place. i hope you guys will have the time of your lives in india 🙂

    • Pepper said

      :(. You’re scaring me. I am really worried about the work culture there and how Mint will adapt to it. Hopefully we will manage. If we can’t, we’ll think of another plan. Well, thank you!

      • s said

        sorry didn’t intend t scare you, Mint is young and will be fine, you guys will adapt and befor eyou know it will be ALL SET in india and wondering what you were even scared off 🙂

        I just mentioned the work situation because i never worked for the couple yrs we were there , I used to work there a long time ago and i work here and all i know ahout the work place in india is what my husband told me. It coul dbe the office he was in , don’t worry that’s a long way off, first go there and bask in your parents love 🙂 that will make the whole world better.

        • Pepper said

          I know you didn’t intend to scare me 🙂 But yes, the work situation is very bothersome. Like I said, we’ll see how it goes. For starters, I’ll go there and soak up all the goodness and love the place has to offer 🙂

  57. seema3 said

    Loads of good wishes and a big yay! Even though you know right from the start that you want to go back but still a few years here and you start loving the good life.

    Everyone back home must be eagerly counting the days.
    Good Luck!

    Seema

  58. Mahes said

    Lots of good wishes for the move! I am looking forward to reading your adventures in India 🙂

  59. Archana said

    Okay, I did not comment here earlier. I am now jealous of you. I woke up this morning, missing mom, and hugging a doggie fur toy. At 25. Stay happy with people you love and who love you. It will all be awesome, changes are stressing and for the good – mostly 🙂

  60. All the very best Pepper, here’s wishing you LOADS of good luck for the move! I am sure it will all work out for the best 🙂
    More than anything else, I am sure your heart is singing despite the trepidations considering being close to your folks !! It will be great, don’t you worry babe!

  61. Deeps said

    Loads and loads of good wishes coming your way! Have been having similar thoughts of late about our moving back as well, so I can understand the dilemma, the anxiety, the predicament, you are going through very well. But along with the uncertainty, I’m sure there will be a sense of excitement of setting up your home again from scratch( barring the unpacking, of course, which you can delegate to Mint, if you want 😉 ), making new memories, refreshing some old, and of course being closer to your familly. So thats something positive to look forward to! Best of luck to both of you once again 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Lol, yes, Mint is a lot more efficient than me anyway. He takes on such chores without me asking him to. So it suits me. I know, it will be fun to set up a home again. I am really excited. Thank you 🙂

  62. NewFriend said

    Hi Pepper,
    I have been reading your blog since many days. And I like it! 🙂

    First Yaay to your decision and good wishes.

    I think its going to be big comment but I think I should do it. Having lived in US for 4-5 years and then moved back to india with the same thought to stay close to family and one more important thing ‘to get married’, I hope I can shed lights to some things which you may already know and thought of.
    Being in India – you will ofcourse enjoy it. There is so much of positivity and so many things to do, events to attend, friends family to meet. being close to your parents is priceless and that can not be compared with anything else.
    The other side of India – you are worried about life with no law and order. So that depends on where in India you are living. I also had the same fear about getting adjusted to this. But friend of mine had said this to me, ‘common you lived in India for good 20 years of your life and these 4-5 years, you are worried about getting adjusted? Its your home, your des bla bla’ But believe me thats true. Atleast in my case it was not at all dificult. After one or two months, I felt like I was never out of this place. I was always here. (anyways, By heart mind I was always in India). And in those 4-5 years, believe or not people in india have changed. I mean its impossible to change everything. But sense of not causing difficulty to others, saying thank you, sorry etc. Some things have changed and I believe they will change and become better in near future. My husband used to say this during those times, ‘koi bhi des behatar hota nahi hai, use behatar banana padta hai’ (he had stolen it from somewhere. may be from some movie. 😛 )

    Some ground realities- life is too busy in india, you will hardly get any ‘me time’. Time will run fast. This is my weirdest thought but I think one gets old faster in india :(. You can not compare you salaries in US with Indian salaries. They are very disappointing. There are so many people like you and me. When I started working in india in the firm of 4000+ , i got the feeling of wrorking in factory wherein I used to work in firm of 200 ppl in US.

    You both are moving because that is what will make you happy. As you had mentioned in your previous posts, I hope this time you have given it a full thought before taking the decision. You can always come back to india anytime but moving back to US will be dificult if in anycase you want to do so. You will be happier, more satisfied in India, I agree and It makes sense to move back if you dont have any major financial liabilities.

    All The Best for everything! 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Hey NF, thanks for commenting. Yes, India does have a lot of positives. But I think the lack of law and order exists everywhere in India. It is not city specific. Or which place in India according to you follows good laws and regulations?

      Regarding the readjusting to life in India bit, I think that is a very valid concern. People wonder why it is hard to do it, if you spent the first 20 years of your life in India. Well, think about it. Out of the 20 years, you were a child for the first 10. You spent those years completely under the shelter and care of your parents. You wouldn’t even know how things work in the world outside, so those years don’t count. After that, you spent the remaining 10 years being a student, living in a world of your own again. You had no real responsibility other than getting decent grades. The corruption did not affect you. The other hardships did not affect you. You didn’t have to worry about dealing with the infamous Indian bureaucracy. You didn’t have to commute long distances to get to work. You didn’t have to chase people to get basic things like phone connections, gas cylinders, your refrigerator and other such things in working condition. All that was a part of your parents responsibility. You never experienced the exploitative work culture. So yes, the remaining 10 years don’t count either. Because you never really lived the adult life in India.

      You’ve made a life of your own in another country outside India once you turned into an adult. A country which is very easy to live in. You are used to the convenience, the lack of traffic, the smooth process of getting your sundry jobs done, the lack of corruption, the work life balance, etc. So when you move back as an adult, you have to let go of all this and adapt to the difficulties in India. The fact that you spent the first 20 years of your life there does not make it easy, because during those years you were not at the forefront. You lived in a protected cocoon. Once you go back, you will not. 🙂 And anyway, in Mint’s case, he has been away for more than 4-5 years, and never experienced the real India, so I am worried about the transition.

      If you are moving back, you should be willing to go through all of this, without expecting it to be easy for you. I think it’s harder to adapt if you believe it is going to be easy. Instead, it makes more sense to prepare yourself well..

      And yes, thank you 🙂

  63. Deboshree said

    All the very best for the move Pepper. Stay good! 🙂

  64. Gayatri said

    Wow Pepper. Good luck with the move and kudos to you guys for taking the plunge. We’ve been thinking/talking about it for so long and we should totally learn from you guys and bite the bullet. No move is easy and I imagine you will have minor readjustment issues. But you’re moving for the right reasons (family) and so you should have no problems 🙂

    • Pepper said

      We had been talking about it for a very long time before we mustered up the courage to bite the bullet too. I suggest you don’t rush yourself. Take your time and think it over well. It’s a big decision 🙂 Thanks!

  65. So many things happened in your life from the time I read you last. I am so glad that you made that decision and I am so happy for you..Good luck. I am sure you would love India.

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