A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

The action that awaits

Posted by Pepper on February 1, 2012

My mind is overcrowded right now. In fact, I would go to the extent of saying I can feel a stampede inside my head, with my thoughts wrestling, jostling and pushing each other aside in a bid to move forward and get the desired attention. I have so much to think about and so much more to do. Instead, I feel the overbearing weight of my thoughts and succumb to the temptation of lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing.

Moving back to India has been a big decision. The move back is going to be harder because in the first year, Mint and I are going to live in different cities. He will be doing his MBA, and I have chosen to live with my parents in Bombay during that period. Well, mostly. I can live with him on campus for that one year, but I thought it didn’t make too much sense. The 1 year residential programs are known to be insanely hectic. He wouldn’t have much time for me. I don’t fancy being all alone in a new city. Other than that, if I find myself a job there and start working, I will have to quit and move out in a year, again. My senses tell me it is a better idea Β to use this time living with my parents, setting up base for both of us in Bombay, and then wait for him to move there after he finishes his course. But the mere thought of that one year of separation is very distressing. I know I sound like a whiny, lovesick girl when I say this, but I don’t know if I can live without him. He has spoilt me too much and made me used to a particular life. And without him, it is going to very hard. I’ve been worrying about this, a lot.

I have to find myself a job and I think this might be very challenging, considering I have no ‘work ex’. I also have to explain the break I have taken while I was here. While I know I have valid reasons and given a chance, I can address these concerns quite well, a part of me is terrified. From what I see around me in India, most freshers only get recruited through campus placements. Otherwise, every company wants people with work experience. I hope I figure something out. I have to really get down to it soon. Uploading my resume on job portals, forwarding it to people I know, etc. Most people tell me the best way to land a job is through your contacts. I find the whole process of searching for a job very daunting.

And then there are times when I feel overwhelmed by the prospects of letting go of everything we own here and building our life in India from scratch. We’ve to let go of our beloved apartment, the chosen furnishing, our precious car, our priced electronics and other miscellaneous goods that have been collected over the years. We will move back with nothing but a few suitcases full of our clothes, and a few boxes filled with other personal belongings. The thought of selling our car is very tear inducing. I know I will have to go through the pain of parting with a lot of things that I cherish. And then also go through the fear and excitement of starting a new life completely empty handed.

There are more than a million things we need to do with respect to our move. Mint has been emailing me task lists and spreadsheets. Each time I go through those, my head spins. We have to make some purchases, clear out our closets and shelves, research prices, sell our furniture, sell other electronics and goods, find out shipping costs, settle and close our bank accounts here, sell stocks, transfer funds, start packing, give away a ton of our stuff, and take care of so many other commitments before we leave. It tires me out when I think of it. I’ve been telling myself to get going, instead of stressing over it. All I have been doing the past few days is lying in my bed.

No, that is not a recent pic, but it very precisely shows my current state. That is exactly how I have been lying down, on my belly, with my hands tucked under my head. I wish I found a magic button that would transport me to India, while I continued to lie like that.

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90 Responses to “The action that awaits”

  1. hAAthi said

    I’m sure it will be fine once you get down to it. No better way to do it, than to be organised, spreadsheets, tasklists, to-dos and all included!

    Also, the work ex thing is a myth. If you’re willing to be open and take your time to look, I think there are plenty of jobs for people like you and me. Don’t fret until you’re really sure you need to.

    Take care!

  2. Archana said

    Relax, pepper. It is daunting, agreed. But bet it will be super fun. And India is chaos, and you will love it. I agree it is not easy after living there πŸ™‚ Travelling between cities πŸ™‚ Good luck, and my prayers with you!

  3. R's Mom said

    Awwww! Hugs darling…let me know if you need any help after you come to Bombay..of course your parents are there..and so is your sis…otherwise also if you need anything lemme know …hugs hugs and more hugs

  4. Sig said

    Know the feeling. In fact, I might go do that now (but instead of a bed, I’m going to find a quiet room :P)

    Decisions, decisions…. *hugs*

    • Pepper said

      Lol, were you at work when you were thinking of doing that? πŸ˜€ The restroom is a good place at such times. To just shut the door and get some me time. Hugs!

  5. Ugh! Aaarrgh! Sigh! it’s all combined into one!
    Tell me about it all – I went through the same things 3yrs ago this time! And boy was I depressed! But trust me, when you see things getting cleared and moved and sold, you will feel strangely glad. It is bitter sweet. I wrote whole posts on those things. I wish you luck and strength (both physically and mentally).

  6. vethal said

    what exactly is your domain. I can see if I can help. Would you be interested in HR etc?

  7. su said

    brave decision, if only for the fact that it means so much change to deal with. i know how you feel. baby steps. baby steps. and before you know it, it will all be done. good luck, and yay πŸ™‚ for seeing your family soon.

  8. Anusha said

    The apprehensions and fear that forthcoming changes bring in life are unavoidable…. and I guess all of us go through the same at some point of time….do not panic,working out with a schedule might help.

    Hope everything turns out well for you πŸ™‚

  9. Ramya said

    Part of life Pepper… Always at some point of time everybody gets so confused… Who knows maybe Mint is also have an equal stampede in his head… C’mon dear.. Pep up πŸ™‚

    • Pepper said

      Of course he is having a stampede in his head too. Most probably, a bigger one. I never doubted that. But that’s the problem, both of us being so caught up. Would have been easier if it affected only one of us πŸ™‚ …

  10. Bubblegum said

    Hey, you expressed very well. I had done this many times, though as a single girl-now very much pro in changing accomodations-home I made them. Btw dont take so much pressure regarding job, you will get one in mumbai.I am so so so so sure!! Welcome to Mumbai by the way, your own city!!

    • Pepper said

      I have moved quite a few times while I was single too. It just seemed easier at that time. Mainly because I moved in 1-2 yrs. Now we have a lot of baggage accumulated over the years. Yes, I am very excited about going back to my city! Thanks.

  11. piyu said

    Hang in there babe! I work in Mumbai, so whenever you are done with polishing your resume, send me a copy as well, so I’ll check if there are any openings in my or my husband’s company.

  12. Neha said

    Don’t worry girl , It’s just a change and i am sure that once you would be in India and settle there ,you will think that how much you thought about it and it was easy to move. I think you can go frequently to meet Mint as most of the programs allows spouse also to be there. As for jobs and you not having a “work ex” , i thinks its and advantage in the sense that : You don’t have a job baggage to carry in terms of the ” salary should be grea ” or ” job profile ” should be great. You have to start without these baggaes and this give you a freedom to choose the one which intrest you the most. Till the time you are looking for a job in bombay aka mumbai , you can write a book πŸ˜‰ or you can wrote some articles etc.. I love to read you here so i am looking for something substantial fron you . A job which you enjoy and is happy with πŸ™‚ . All the best and get up from the bed and keep moving :

    • Pepper said

      Oh yes, I can live with Mint on campus if I want to. I am the one who is confused at this stage. There are no restrictions from their end. Write a book? Not my cup of tea. Yes, I need to get out of bed. Thanks for reminding me πŸ™‚

  13. Your life seems like such a roller coaster ride πŸ˜€
    I am tired just by imagining your to-do list.

    Hugs! It sucks being an adult sometimes and take these tough decisions and drive ourselves to work harder. But, it does pay at the end.

    Wish you both lots of strength πŸ™‚

  14. whoa! Now I know how much I’ve been offline…I come here and get this news!!! Well I have to say I am happy about the fact that you will be in India so the chance of meeting you in person increase manifold. Just keep walking love, this too shall pass!

  15. Hi Pepper , Can mom or some beloved aunt come and stay with you. that helps a lot in the food department and they have this tendency to keep you going from one task to another.Take Care. I went through everything you are going through with 3 kids and a husband who travels all the time. And we landed in Mumbai where we didn’t know a soul. So you have a lot going for you (if that is any consolation). just think about the positives and you should be good. My mom was with me during the mom and i couldn’t have done it without her. She practically took care of the kitchen house and the kids while i was running around closing accounts and errands outside the house. She is my lifesaver when i need it. love the moms – don’t we !! –

    • Pepper said

      Oh we do love the moms! But when my mum offered to come, I declined it. I thought I will be able to take care of it all. Mom came here just a few months ago. And beside that, my younger sis who is in college and my dad will be quite lost without her. So I don’t feel very easy when she leaves them for for a long duration. Hopefully, we will manage. We don’t have kids, and that makes things easier. I guess I won’t be cooking much in the last few weeks anyway. We’ll get ready meals from outside, so I should have time to run around.

      You guys moved from the US to Mumbai? How do you like it there now?

  16. DI said

    Something tells me we are going to meet soon! πŸ˜€ Is that right?

  17. Smitha said

    Don’t even remind me 😦 I have been trying to de-clutter, figure out what needs to go, what needs to get packed – and the mere thought of it, is driving me nuts 😦 The only saving grace is that we live in a furnished apartment, so most of the furniture is our lndlords – thank god for that! But there are still a million things that need to be done while moving countries!!

    • Pepper said

      You have so much more time to go! You’ve already started planning, plus you have a furnished apartment, so you needn’t sell that stuff. Trust me, you are in a much better place. You shouldn’t worry at all πŸ˜€

  18. RK said

    I bet things will fall in place! remember your blog post “just do it” :-))!
    Think of all the wonderful days that are ahead of you in India and that will give you inspiration!
    Good luck!

  19. CA said

    You have already made the biggest move … the “decision” to move back. Relax… the rest will fall in place. Car may be one of the priciest item you’d be selling and other furniture will get sold. (even if you don’t get the best price on the rest furniture, I am guessing, you will be fine if it suits your timelines). Good luck with all the packing … the hard part now is to sort things you’d want to take back home / leave back here. Craigslist will be your best friend next few days πŸ™‚

  20. You made my head spin a little too with that to-do list..and I totally want to get that magic button for you, if I can 😦

    For now, I suggest, take one or two tasks at a time. Not more. Check them off, slowly but steadily without being too overwhelmed.

    I jumped for joy when I read about your one year with parents ( wow!), but the next few lines brought me back to earth. You cannot live without him…awww… ( I wonder where I lost that love lorn feeling on the way..never even occurred I would missed the H in your shoes. hehe)

    {{Hugs}} dear.

    • Pepper said

      Hehe.. I jumped for joy when I thought of staying with my parents initially too. Only later on did the separation part occur to me. So I can tell you that it is very normal. I am sure had you been in my position, you would have jumped for joy and then thought of being away from H only later. The love lorn feeling is still there πŸ™‚

      Thanks AHK πŸ™‚

  21. Bhavani said

    You will be fine Pepper..things will fall into place..but try to knock down the to do list slowly…it becomes crazy towards the end..just packing for 5 wks teip drives us crazy..

    Regarding the 1 on an off Yr separation..i know it will be tough…but it will be a really good time to spend with your parents and sis…you can catch up on all the missed time all these years:))

    Good luck..

    -Bhavani

    • Pepper said

      I am most worried about leaving it all for the last minute and then not having enough time. Hopefully, we won’t stupid enough to leave it for the end.
      And you’re so right. I am really looking forward to spending time with my family. Thank you!

  22. popbiscuit said

    The 1 yr apart is going to suck 😦 Especially after having lived together for a few years…hopefully you can meet often..and you will have your family for some comfort..better than living with your in laws,without him!
    Move stuff will get done, don’t worry too much…take it one day at a time and work through your lists:)

  23. Preethi said

    Hugs Pepper. Don’t worry so much. I call this ‘starting problem’. I am sure once you start doing things, you will make it quick. You just need to find the right time to pick it up.
    Do not worry about the job offers in India..I am sure Mumbai has a lot to offer you πŸ™‚

    I understand on your angst regarding the separation from Mint. It would be tough but as you are going to stay with your parents, you will sail through fine. More over, it is easy to commute within India and you can go see him whenever you feel like doing so.
    May I ask if MInt is going to do his MBA from IBS, Hyd.

    • Pepper said

      Thanks for the hugs Preethi. And hugs right back to you! It is the ‘starting problem’. Hopefully, I overcome it and give myself a kickstart. Once that is done, things should be easier. I am trying not to worry about the job situation in Mumbai, but not exactly succeeding. Have put it off for now anyway.
      As a matter of policy, I don’t take any names on this blog πŸ™‚

  24. harini said

    Totally off topic… But you look very sexy :):)

    Also these tensions crop up before every move, more so if you have to move countries. I am sure you both will handle this move just fine πŸ™‚

    • Pepper said

      I think that is just a good picture πŸ˜›
      Yes, these tensions always crop up. And I’ve moved several times. I should know. But it never seems easy. Hopefully this is the last move for a long time.

  25. Smita said

    1stly stop worrying too much, I know the mere thought of doing away with what you have built with so much love is daunting but since you have taken the decision be assured and work on it and rest all will fall in place.

    Cheer up my girl and half the problems will be solved. Job bhi mil jayega first u need to stop worrying about things!!! πŸ™‚

  26. Rocking the boat is never easy is it?

    You are a very brave girl for choosing to live away from mint. if i were you i would love to look at the college option.. Ok let me know if i can help in anyway with jobs etc! more when you are here πŸ™‚

  27. Seema said

    Hey Pepper, hugs to you.

    Have been lurking in your space for a while. One of your earlier posts touched me so much that the post was open all day, while I typed in your comment space, deleted, again typed and the vicious cycle continued until I hit the close button. Perhaps will e-mail you some time regarding that.

    Oye and why are you sleeping like that? So many things you have to do! I’m getting tensed here looking at that pic of yours. I’m freaking crazy about getting things done before hand especially during moves. Chalo, utho abhi and think of being with your family soon. That should excite you enough eh?

    About staying apart from Mint, I can very well understand. I too had to stay apart from Abbas exactly after 8 months of marriage for almost 5 months and it felt terrible.

    Take care. Make the most of whatever time you have in Amrika. Cheer up πŸ˜€

    • Pepper said

      Which post are you talking about? πŸ™‚ Would love to hear from you on mail.
      Lol! You sound so much like my mom. She gets tensed just looking at me sleep when there is work to be done.
      Definitely living it up now while we’re here πŸ™‚

  28. Deboshree said

    I am sure you can handle it all. The emotional bit is what leads to the fatigue. I cannot imagine moving out of such a lovingly created world, back to start from scratch. But there are a lot of good things you have to look forward to… time with your family for instance.
    All will be well Pepper. πŸ™‚

  29. All the best Pepper. Am sure you will make it with flying colors. Ghabraane ka nai πŸ™‚

  30. Deepa said

    Oh!! now you are scaring me! We are giving ourselves a year to draft up the plan and implement it :). Don’t worry about the job scenario, India truly is shining in that area I believe. You have great credentials, a Masters from UK and all, it will surely help you land your dream job. Good luck on the move, I am sure everything will work out for you. Did Mint get into one of the IIMs or ISB?? I have a feeling that is what it is :). Congratulate him on my behalf.

  31. dont bother about what naukri sends you..its a piece of s**t..and am sure you will find a good place which will play a blind spot to work ex and other things your worried about :)..wishing you luck for a new beginning πŸ™‚

  32. shail said

    All the best on your move and settling down! πŸ™‚

  33. Tanishka said

    Work ex or no work ex, naukri sends real crap recommendations… And trust me there are always good opportunities for good people…
    All the best gal… Take care… πŸ™‚

  34. You will find something Pepper,yes it might seem like its taking time-but find something you will! Okay?
    Now take that tension out of your head and concentrate on ticking off all those things off those godawful lists 😦 I hate them Pepper, for someone who holds a doctorate in procrastination-no wonder eh?

    Good luck with everything again…

  35. Meera said

    Hey Pepper,

    Thanks for visiting my blog and commiserating over the loss of our car. Think of this move as a brand new chapter of your life.I understand the distress you are feeling over having to live in a different city than your SO but doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder?

    Think of it as dating long distance. You can always surprise him with a visit and he can smuggle you into his dorm room. There’s so much fun in that kind of romance too. And before you know it, you’ll be a Mumbaite again and saying things like “Hataa saawan ki ghataa.”

    Take care

    • Pepper said

      Hey Meera! You don’t need to thank me at all! I was on one of my random blog hopping sprees when I landed on your post. It was something I could relate to.
      Yes, we’e thinking of it as long distance. I will be visiting him every other weekend, hopefully. And hey! I say “Hata saawan ki ghataa” even now πŸ˜€

  36. scorpria said

    You’ll be fine πŸ™‚
    Hope everything turns out smooth, that you settle down well and happily πŸ™‚
    Where is Mint planning to do his MBA?

  37. Gayatri said

    When are you guys making the big move? I am going to be in Mumbai for the rest of February so let me know if you need to get anything done there. I’m serious.

    • Pepper said

      Hey thanks so much Gayatri. That’s so nice of you. We’re moving around the 3rd week of March. Will get back to you if I need help with anything there, though doesn’t look like it. πŸ™‚

  38. Jack Point said

    Look on the bright side:

    1. You will be near your parents, who you obviously adore.
    2. You can start a career, which you could not because of the rules in the US.
    3. You will be closer to your friends you grew up with and you will make some new ones as you go along.
    4. The food and the weather will better. Heck, you will be home. What could be better?

    • Pepper said

      1 is the only real positive JP.
      – I could have started a career here in the US too. I couldn’t do it earlier cos of the restrictions I had on my visa. I would no longer have been on this visa. We are/were on the verge of getting out green card. So I would have been able to start my career here too.
      – I will be closer to my best pals, I know. But they are unsure of being in India. They could very well move to the US in sometime. I can’t count on their presence 😦
      – I get awesome food here too. I have said this in the past – some of the South Indian food available here is so authentic, I never got all that back home in my city. Also, we have so many cuisines here that India doesn’t have.

      So all in all, the only real reason we’re moving back is so that I can be close to my family. I am sure other positives will come up, but this continues to be *the* reason.

  39. Jack Point said

    There was a wise man from India who preached that attachment to material things was the root of all pain and sorrow.

    Let them go and you will surely find happiness elsewhere.

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