A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Archive for October, 2012

Busy times ahead..

Posted by Pepper on October 29, 2012

So I started work at the new place. I’ll do a separate post to write about how things have been so far. Right now, I have other things on my mind. Very critical issues. You see, I work in an IT company. Which means, they’ve blocked all access to Gmail, Facebook and blogs! Sigh. I can’t tell you how much that disappoints me. How do I go and tell them, my productivity levels would have been much higher had these distractions been available to me?

Anyway, now I am left wondering. How and when do I find the time to blog, let alone read blogs and comment on blogs and reply to comments on my blog?  *Sigh* I am occupied from 8 am to 8 pm. After which, I do not want to spend time online. I’d rather spend time with my family, go for a walk, sit back and relax, watch TV, cook, catch up with friends, read. There is so much to do.

Neither can I give up writing. That would make my head explode. It certainly can’t contain all my thoughts and opinions and views and emotions. I need to let those out. So I will try and write as often as I can. I will also try and read as many posts as I can. I don’t know how I will, but I will certainty try. But commenting on blogs and replying to comments on my blog? I may not find time for that.

For some reason, that makes me feel awfully guilty. Especially the part about not replying to comments on my blog. I always thought I owed it to the person who commented. Doing that it is very time consuming though. The more the volume, the longer it takes. At times, I spent more than an hour, just replying to individual comments. All of that has to stop. I need to prioritize, and I choose writing posts over replying to ever comment. Now let me see how this goes.

Posted in Uncategorized | 26 Comments »

Convenience lost

Posted by Pepper on October 22, 2012

When I proposed the idea of moving back to India, I had clear reasons backing my stand. One of them was ‘convenience’. The convenience and availability of cheap public transport, for one. I think that makes a big difference to the quality of life you lead. In the US, we used our beloved car all the time and drove everywhere. When we didn’t use our car, we walked. Buses had neither good connectivity, nor good frequency. Atleast not in the area we lived in.

I remember walking back from the BART station close to our home in the Bay Area and thinking to myself “Man, had I been in India, I’d have just gotten into an auto without any thought”. There were days on which Mint and I would walk back home from the station at night. It would be windy and cold. I’d be tired. Yet, we thought taking a cab was too much of a luxury. California was expensive. Splurging on cabs seemed like an indulgence we couldn’t afford. Each of those times – I missed India. After all, in India, most people huddled in the middle class bracket would be able to afford auto rickshaws, if not cabs.

I think those words are coming to bite me back in my ass. Auto fares in Mumbai have been jumping steadily, every few months. A little more than a year ago, it cost me Rs 20, to go from my home to the nearest station. Today, it costs me Rs 40! In case you are slow with numbers, that is double of what it used to be not too long ago.

Yes, petrol is becoming pricier by the day, but despite that, I don’t think it justifies the ridiculous fares we pay to auto drivers. Also, most autos/rickshaws run on CNG, which is cheaper than petrol. Anyway, meter rates keep getting revised upwards, even when there are no fuel hikes.  Today, driving your own car to a nearby locality would be cheaper than than taking an rickshaw. This leaves me a bit confused.

Where do the ordinary people go? There are more than a million people who cannot afford a car. They rely heavily on rickshaws. And then there are people who can afford cars, but still prefer to hop into an auto – just so they can escape the ordeal of parking the car in this crammed city. And then there are others like my mom – middle aged men and women who do own vehicles but do not know how to drive them. There are old people who cannot climb into trains and buses. There are people who can’t otherwise afford rickshaws, but still go ahead and use them sometimes when they are short of time and can’t afford to wait for a bus or a train. Now that rickshaws are no longer a commodity that we can afford, where do we turn to?

The fares have nearly doubled in the past year or two, unfortunately, our salary packages remain more or less the same. This is just creating a bigger gap between our needs and the available resources. Will autos become a luxury in India? Are they really a luxury? What am I paying for? A rickety ride in a slow moving auto rickshaw that forces me to ingest truckloads of pollution (‘truck loads’ literally) that is killing me?

I do not want to comment on the economic environment. Call it inflation, or whatever you want. I am only observing the effects it has on me. I know the famed auto drivers are needy people. They are fighting the rising prices of vegetables and other everyday essentials. But heck, I am needy too. Prices are rising around me too, and nobody is giving me a pay hike.

I know. They say rickshaws are criminalised and discriminated against.  I’ve thought through this argument. While I am not sure I blame the auto drivers for the fare hikes, I certainly blame them for turning into a pricey breed. The arrogance with which they see through me and drive away when I am waiting on the road with bags in my hands is unnerving and frustrating. Even if they do stop, they snootily turn up their noses after I tell them where I want to go and drive away. If they are needy, why don’t they really do their job and take me where I want to go? How can they refuse destination X and destination Y? Why can’t they respect their job? Now, we don’t exactly get to choose all our projects at work, do we? We don’t always get to take up the most profitable opportunity. We just have to take what we get. Why should it be any different for them?

Reports say this is the 3rd freaking hike that has taken place within the span of a year. I know I can no longer count on auto rickshaws as a medium of transport for an everyday commute. I miss the days in which I could heedlessly hail an auto and be dropped to to my destination. Now, with the new provisions of the autorichsaw fares- the middle class has been made to part with an integral component of their lives.  There goes my ‘convenience’ factor. I know I will have to brave the heat and the dust and walk up to the bus stop in the mid day sun, and then jostle my way in the midst of sweaty strangers who love all displays of profanity. Suddenly, I miss USA. And my car. And the smooth roads. And the prices of gas, that sound so sweet to me now.

Posted in Life in India | 73 Comments »

Review of ‘Just Married, Please Excuse’

Posted by Pepper on October 20, 2012

This is a very delayed review of the very awesome book – Just Married, Please Excuse. You see, this post of mine won me a copy of the book! To my utter delight, I was sent an autographed copy of the book. Of course, I am thrilled.

You know, there are certain books that can’t escape the ‘chick lit’ tag. I feared this book would fall into that category. See, I love Yashodhara’s blog. I was confident her book would appeal to me. But any book that is written by a woman, that talks mainly about the life of a woman and has a humourous take is usually labeled as chick lit.  Would I be able to defend her writing if literature snobs put her down as just another antsy woman writer who caters only to the fairer sex? Now that I have read the book, I can confidently answer that question. Yes! I can defend this book. This book is for both women AND men. Why? Just because it is so damn relatable, in almost every aspect.

‘Just Married, Please Excuse’ is the story of Yashodhara and Vijay. Oh by the way, they are real people, with real names – that’s another reason I was drawn to the book. In a nutshell – Y and V meet, they get married, they realise they have differences and they try and find a way to work around those difference. Yes, nothing very unusual about the story. What makes it special is the way it has been written.

For starters, Yashodhara has the ability to make you laugh out loud. There were instances of me guffawing loudly in front of my very bemused sister. Y has picked up the nuances of married life in a very skillful manner. Most of us have gone through the discussions, debates, conflicts and incidents that she has described.

As a couple, I thought Y and V mirrored Mint and I. No, really. It was uncanny. I swear I could compile a long list of the similarities in our characters. For example, I suffer from a nasty temper, just like Y. And V’s personality seemed like a replica of Mint’s. Mint can’t buy anything without ‘researching’ it. I have written about it on this blog several times. So when I read about Vijay taking forever to buy a sofa, I could so relate to it.

There is another incident in which Vijay forgets to tell Yashodhara that his parents are visiting them the next day. I swear, Mint has often forgotten to tell me important stuff like that, many times. We’ve fought over it, many times. How he forgets to tell me such important things is beyond me. Reading about Vijay made it a tad better for me. See, my husband is not the only one who does stuff like that. I can breathe easy. Phew.

Needless to say, I loved this book. Yes, I think some parts were over dramatized, but I will forgive that for the sake of humour. Go for this book if you you are a new couple and want to read some immensely relatable stuff, or if you are a not so new couple and want to go back to those early days and smile, or better still, if you are single and want a sneak peak into the life of  the average new age couple.

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Let’s catch up!

Posted by Pepper on October 17, 2012

It’s been a while since I chronicled the happenings of my life here. Time for an update!

I wrote this post, not too long ago. I can still feel the despair when I read it. I spoke about how we lost our camera, laptop and ipod. What I didn’t mention was that Mint lost his cell phone the same day. It was stolen, just like the rest of the stuff.  It shook us bloody hard. How was it that we were experiencing a series of thefts ? This can’t be a coincidence. It isn’t even like we lost everything together. The camera was the first to go. The next theft took away my laptop and iPod. Then the cell phone got stolen in the evening. The same evening. How? It seemed hard to continue blaming out blasted luck. It looked like something more sinister to me.

It took me a few days to realise that my stolen bag also contained my pretty velvet pouch that held all my jewelry. I mostly wear silver junk. This time though, I was carrying a white gold bangle. I don’t want to talk about how much that cost! Let me just say, that was bloody expensive. Other than that, the pouch contained all my junk jewelry collection that I had built over the years. A diamond studded anklet that I picked up from Thailand, a magnetic beady chain I bought from Singapore, pearls I bought from the local market and other stuff. The thought of my missing jewelry saddened me. I know I won’t be able to replace it easily.

Over the next few days, I went on discovering the loss of things that I realised were present in the bag that was gone. Sigh. Now when I think of our combined loss – our camera, laptop, iPod  cell phone, gold bangle, assorted silver jewelry and other miscellaneous items, I feel dismayed. We’ve incurred a loss that runs into lakhs.

Anyway, let me come to the good part now. Desperation struck, and I bought a new laptop. I had all plans of waiting it out, till some kind soul agreed to carry it for me from the US. I wanted to research the models, find good deals and then make a decision. What I ended up doing was spending five minutes browsing the internet, choosing the model, and making a call to order the laptop. Of course, I ended up paying a lot more than I would have, but then my requirement could be termed as ‘urgent’.  My new laptop makes me very happy.

What really brought me tears of joy was finding an old hard disc that contained most of our pictures that I thought were lost. So now I have a new laptop, and it has most of my old memories!

**********

The other big news is that I have taken up a full time job. I start in about a week, and I feel so unsure. Prior to this, I did work for my dad’s company, I took on heaps of freelance assignments. It worked well for me. It gave me the flexibility I needed at this point. Now, I don’t know how I will take to this big change.

Also, I had somewhat of a rocky start. When the company wanted me to provide them with some references from my previous work place – I gave it to them in no time. Most companies make a few calls to conduct a background check. My previous employer was in the US, and they knew this. So imagine my annoyance and amusement when I get a call from a very miffed employee in this company, telling me that nobody in my previous company is answering the phone now. DUH! I told them that the US and India function in two very different time zones, and they can’t expect people to be in office in the dead of night. They could try email, or call at a more suitable time. Sheesh! Then I told myself I shouldn’t judge the whole company because of one person.

Other than that, I really do like the kind of work this company does. It’s not too far from where I live. A small commute is a blessing in Mumbai. So I agreed to take it up. I don’t know how this will go, and like I said, I still feel unsure – so please do not congratulate me right away. When you congratulate me, I feel pressured to be happy. And when I can’t, I feel nervous. Yes, my brain works in a twisted way.

**********

I’ve been with Mint on campus since almost a week now. He lives in a dorm room, that has a single bed. We usually call for an extra mattress that we spread out on the floor, each time I visit him. This time, he forgot to call for the mattress, and by the time we realised it, it was too late. The house keeping department had shut down for the day. So the two of us had to had to squeeze in and fit ourselves in a tiny, single bed. I think we spent a lot of our time wrestling shoulders, over stepping each other, struggling to spread out our legs and unknowingly  resting our arms and legs on top of each other. Okay, that doesn’t sound right, but I hope you know what I mean. The next morning, I was sure I didn’t want to sleep like that again. But what do you know? We forgot to call for the mattress again! So there, we had to make peace with sharing a small single bed. I suppose we are now qualified to share a train berth. * Rolls eyes *

Did I tell you I love being on campus? People are kind enough to call us for dinner (and lunch), each time I visit. I love walking around the campus. This time, there were dance workshops, caricature and calligraphy workshops that we could all participate in. Oh, I spent a few happy evenings playing carrom with Mint. Yes, he had to teach me how to strike. And he lets me win, by giving me extra chances, but so what?

And what have you people been upto?

Posted in Slices of life | 48 Comments »

Goodybye, Edward

Posted by Pepper on October 9, 2012

If there was one series I just could not get myself to like, it was Twilight. The sister was a big fan, about 4 years ago. So much so, that she forced me to read the first book. Yes, we force things onto each other like that. I tried to not dislike the book, but I can’t really feign appreciation for too long. She knew my hatred for it. I knew her love. I would roll my eyes each time Edward Cullen was brought up.

Since she didn’t have an audience in me, she would talk to Mint about it. He knew how smitten she was. During one of his trips to India, he bought her the movie DVD. It even had Robert Pattinson’s interview. She was obviously thrilled. What I didn’t know was that he even bought her a huge poster of Edward Cullen. To make matters worse, he went ahead and plastered it on our bedroom door in our absence. He wanted to surprise her. When we entered the bedroom, the sister happened to see the poster and was delighted. I screamed. I said I didn’t want it. But ofcourse, when the sister and Mint become a team, who will listen to me?

Since we share a bedroom, I had to live with the damn face staring at me, night and day. At times, I have woken up at night, startled, because of those evil eyes watching me while I slept on my bed. Every time I told the sister I would tear that poster and get rid of it, she would protest. I had resigned to being watched by that dude at all times.

A few days ago, I brought it up again. I told her I was going to get rid of that poster. “Ofcourse!”, she said. “Why would I stop you?”. Huh? I understand, that poster was put up in 2009. She was a mere 17 year old at that time. Interests evolve. But I still hadn’t expected it to be this easy.

So I did it today. I pulled out the tape that glued the poster to the door. I expected myself to be relieved. And I was. But a part of me was also sad. That poster had been bought by Mint for the sister, all the way from the US. He had gotten it with a lot of care, and ensured the travel did not damage the paper in any way. Getting rid of it was making me a wee bit nostalgic. And then I shook my head. I can’t afford to get sentimental over every little thing. It’s just a damn poster. Okay? Okay!

So long..

Once I pulled it out, I showed it to the sister, who instantly looked distraught.  She wanted to know why I really did it. She had grown used to that face staring at us at all times. Now she felt really sad, seeing the empty frame of the door. After some thought, she asked me if I could tape it back there. I considered this for a minute, before rejecting the idea. Now, it’s gone. Goodbye, Edward.

**********

In other news, it’s time I acknowledge these awards.

Ti  gave me the “One Lovely Blog Award”. Thank you so much, Ti!

This one comes with the “Write 7 things about yourself” tag. Since I have done this several times, I will just link bank to one of the old posts. Go here to know some crazy facts about me.

The other award comes from Zinal. She has nominated me for the “Sunshine Award”. I promise I will answer all the questions the award comes with, another time.

Thank you so much. I am truly touched and honoured 🙂

Posted in Meet the family | 20 Comments »

No problem. Except that it is a problem!

Posted by Pepper on October 6, 2012

My parents left for a little holiday yesterday, along with my uncle and aunt. They would be gone for about 4 days. Before they left, they kept asking me to pay attention to the million instructions they had chalked down for us. “Lock the door at night, don’t forget to water the plants, leave the trash can outside at night, don’t leave the house until the maids come, don’t make a mess, make sure you clean the kitchen after dinner..” It went on. Irritated, I snapped, “I’ve lived alone for quite a few years, you know? And we survived it. So please, don’t bother. I’ll figure all this out.”

The parents left. The sister has her exams going on, and told me in clear terms to not expect any help from her. No problem, I thought. I could manage alone. I pushed these thoughts aside and went back to working on my assignment. Hours went by, and before I knew it, the sister was back home after her exam, ringing the door bell impatiently. I sighed, as I got up to let her in. The first thing she said on seeing me was “I’m hungry. Give me something to eat”. Hmm. Okay. I peeped into the fridge and realised the mother had anticipated this situation and left behind some pasta for us. Great. So pasta was heated and eaten. I went back to doing what I was.

Soon, it was night. “What’s for dinner?”, was the the question thrown at me. Hmm. “How about eating pasta again? Wasn’t it so good?”. She made a face. I knew force feeding the same pasta multiple times wasn’t a reliable plan anyway. I had to cook. No problem. I hadn’t cooked a full meal in a long time. Today was the day. I decided to make stuffed mushrooms, along with a veg casserole. It was all good. Except that, there were no mushrooms at home. Hmm. No problem. I decided to run down and bring a packet of mushrooms. Oh, the joys of living in India.

Except that, I realised it was pouring heavily when I reached down. No problem. I decided to go back home, pick up an umbrella and then leave to buy the mushrooms. So I did that. I battled the rain and the muck, picked up the mushroom and reached home drenched.  I then ran into the shower. By the time I was out, I realised it was late. I hadn’t even started cooking. No problem. I would rush.

Once in the kitchen, I washed the mushrooms and proceeded to pluck out the stems.  I then chopped the stems finely, with the intent of using them in the stuffing. It took me forever. I decided against making stuffed mushrooms. Simply sauteing them in olive oil with garlic and chillies would be good enough. I couldn’t find the chili flakes. No problem. I called mom to ask her the whereabouts. By the time I found them and finished cooking the mushrooms, I was tired. So I took the bowl of mushrooms to the sister.  “I was thinking, we should eat Maggi along with this. Instead of eating anything else. Don’t you think it is a good idea?” I smiled at her. She could see my intentions of course. She laughed and agreed. I went back into the kitchen and made Maggi.

We got back to work after dinner. I was tired and sleepy. When I thought I would call it a day, I realised I had forgotten to clean the kitchen counters. Why didn’t I do it right away? Why don’t these things come naturally to me? No problem. I picked my tired self and went to the kitchen to clean the counters.

By now, it was already late at night. I went and lay on my bed, only to realise that I had forgotten to leave the trash can outside. This wasn’t a ‘no problem’ anymore. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I knew the sister was in the other room, and I didn’t want to expend any energy calling out to her, asking her to do it and then ensuring she does it. Okay, fine. I decided to just get done with it. So I woefully got out of bed.

As I was walking back, I happened to notice the state of the house. Everything seemed to be a mess. There were books lying around. There were papers flying about, courtesy the sister’s exams. There was a pile of clothes lying on the bedroom floor. I sighed. And then shrugged. I would clear it tomorrow. As I walked by the parent’s bedroom, I could see the order and tidiness even in the dark. How is it that their bedroom is always so well maintained?

On certain days, I feel like an inefficient loser. Today is one of them. I feel disturbed by the fact that I am undisturbed by general chaos and disorderliness. They say the clutter and mess in your home reflects your mental state. If your home is messy, your mind is probably messy too. Is my mind really that chaotic? I can dwell comfortably in a room that has clothes lying in a pile on the floor. I do get urges to pick them up and tidy the room, but they come after a few days of living in the mess. And once I clean the room, I maintain it for a week or two, but then I fall slack again. I can’t seem to do what is required to be done everyday, to have a neat room and a neat home.

Perhaps it boils down to me being unbelievably lazy.  I go to the extent of depriving or troubling myself in order to escape a few chores. I might skip having my evening coffee on days I have to make it myself.  I dislike taking hair baths because I think they mean a lot of work. I remember during school, I would always lug around a very heavy school bag, just because I was too lazy to make my timetable the previous day and put only the required books in. Carrying all the books and doubling over with the weight was easier than spending 5 minutes every night.

I wish I wasn’t so abnormal. I wish I wasn’t this lazy. I wish I had it in me to work professionally, as well as cook fresh meals everyday, maintain a shining spotless home, make sure every pin is in its rightful place, have a bunch of fresh lilies in pretty vases sitting in the living room, have rolls of clean napkins arranged near the washbasin, have well maintained and green balconies. How I wish. But if I can’t really have all that, I should atleast work towards having a no frills, clean, neat and sane home.

Posted in Er-rant-ic behaviour | 50 Comments »

Bonds or baggage?

Posted by Pepper on October 1, 2012

So it’s been 6 whole months since I moved back to India. I can’t believe how seamlessly I have blended into life at home, with my parents and sister. I thought I’d spend all my time whining for Mint, but I am happy to note, I don’t spend more than a few hours whining for him everyday. Quite an achievement, isn’t it? Also, we get to visit each other quite often, so it hasn’t been too bad. I am living it up in Mumbai – the city of my childhood. Along with the joys of living with my parents, I have the added joy of being surrounded by friends. School friends, building friends, junior colleges friends, degree college friends, other miscellaneous friends, what’s there to not love? But the more I love being here, the more I fear having to leave this city soon. No, not because of the friends. I can acquire new friends elsewhere. But because of my parents. The thought of moving away from them makes me incredibly sad.

And then I sit to ponder, why is it that I find it so hard to live away from my parents? Why is it that my parents find it so hard to be away from us? When I think about it, almost *all* my friends are living away from their parents, in different cities, if not different countries. They aren’t exactly unhappy. They are managing just fine. Why do we feel this overpowering pull towards each other then?

It’s not just me, but my parents too. Each time, they assure me to go ahead and live my life where I want to, they will be fine. But each time, I see how lonely they get when the sister and I are out of the house for a few days. I realise my parents have made a mistake. They have built their entire life around their children, without ever pausing to build a life for their ownselves. So when we aren’t around, they don’t quite know what to do with their lives.

My mom was working in a big airline company. She quit her job when she was expecting me. I am not judging her choice. She said she didn’t want anything more than spending time with her children. My mother isn’t the typical mother who enjoys making pickles and knitting sweaters either. She doesn’t have too many domestic interests. So other than her children, she had nothing else to focus on. Which suited us well, at that time. I have the best memories of running into mama’s arms the moment we got out of our school bus. The sister and I would spend our afternoons with her reading to us, playing word games. And then we would lay sprawled on a rug, doing our homework with periodic supervision. In the evenings, we would either go downstairs to play with the other kids, or we would go to the park with mama. My dad would come home in the evenings, and on special days, we would go to the Worli sea face. Sometimes we went for movies, sometimes we ate out. My parents were busy raising us and giving us a happy childhood. We were a happy family.

Our bonds ran as deep as the oceanic abyss. I realised, I loved spending time with my parents. They were our best friends. My school friends on the other hand, mainly considered their parents only to be disciplinarian figures. Some of them were close to their parents, but they still had boundaries to deal with. They couldn’t have the same kind of open communication with their parents. I felt proud to have the parents I did.

As I grew though, I realised that my parents hardly spent time with each other alone. The sister and I were always around. They hated going out without us. On the rare occasion they did, they would call us every hour to find out how we were doing. They would come back and embrace us hungrily, as though being away from us had been a very painful experience. What about couple time, I would ask them? Why don’t you enjoy yourselves when you are gone? They’d say their kids are their greatest joy, and without us, they feel incomplete.

The sister and I grew up. We started spending extended hours out of the house. My parents would wait for our return. I would be waiting to get back home. The moment we were all home, it was a happy reunion of sorts, though we’d only been away for a few hours. We would spend time catching up with each other, talking about our day, about what was in the news and then proceed to eat a happy meal together. When we were not home, my mom would spend time putting together our favourite meals, mentally yelling at us as she went about cleaning up the messy house and doing other sundry jobs. When the sister and I are not at home, my parents really don’t know what to look forward to. The house is empty. There is no mess to clear. Nobody to demand a meal. They feel the emptiness and long for the mess and the noise.

At the end of the day, I feel sad. I wish my parents had spent more time pursuing their interests, being more social and in general, living life for their own selves too. It’s not just them. When I am away from them, I yearn for them despite having a full day. I do think I have built a life for myself to an extent, and if I still long for them, how much harder must it be for them? Have we done something wrong? I see my other friends living their life without the distance burdening them, and I keep wondering.. Why am I the only one who feels this separation anxiety?

My parents gave us all the security, comfort and companionship we needed while we were growing up. Unfortunately, that also led to us being heavily dependent on them. Mint had a very different upbringing. He hardly converses with his parents. Yes, they talk about what needs to be spoken about, but they never chat with each other aimlessly. While growing up, his parents were just people who nagged him about his habits. Not more than that. Right from childhood, his parents closed mindedness never let them see eye to eye. As a result, they realised discussions were futile. Leading secret lives was easier. So he isn’t even remotely attached to his parents. While that makes me sad, I also realise he is the one able to live a more carefree life. He is happy wherever he is, not yearning for his parents. He lives without baggage whereas I am buckling under its weight.

A lot of my other friends who were not as close to their parents sail in the same boat as Mint. They are at peace living in a different city. The parents have accepted the distance. Of course, the said friends love their parents as much, despite it all, they have learnt to take the distance in their stride. Why am I so weak then? I left USA and came running back to them. Now as I live here happily, I worry about a future in a different city. Is it because I know my parents have nothing else to look forward to? Is it the price we are paying for building bonds that bind us to each other? After all, blind attachment and dependency are known to be bad words.

And then there are some people who are exceptionally close to their parents, despite the parents and children having built independent lives. They put up with the distance. Perhaps with mild heartache at times. But they are happy. Why can’t we be like that? Why can’t our independent lives and our love for each other run parallelly? Why does my need for them intersect with my life at every step? I feel happier and more secure living within those intersections. But can I really afford to do that?

Perhaps my parents have made a mistake by making us the very foundation of their lives. Perhaps we have made a mistake by leaning on those foundations so heavily. But all that is done cannot be reversed. Now I only hope I am not put in a situation in which I am made to test my resistance. And if I am, I hope my parents and I pull along and learn to build a life for ourselves. I hope love triumphs over need.

Posted in A penny for my thoughts | 61 Comments »

 
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