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Archive for January 28th, 2013

I am an alien

Posted by Pepper on January 28, 2013

I have a monster headache. As I stepped out of office and got into an autoricksha, I realised the racket on the road was going to kill me today. Drivers who just can’t seem to let go of their car horns must be on a mission to scale down our country’s population. They kill people by subjecting them to deadly levels of noise.

Horn OK Please? Did I read that again? Your incessant honking is causing me acute trauma. My heart rate is shooting up. I suppose my nervous system can’t take it either. So, no. Your bloody horn is NOT okay. Oh, I forgot. You want me to die.

It looks like most Indians are addicted to their car horns. The horn is a device that is used mainly to allow the driver to vent his frustrations. And oh boy, frustrated they are. Want to show that other driver you are pissed? Go ahead. Just don’t release your hold from the damn horn. Let your eternally blasting horn kill others around you.

Oh wait. Nobody else seems to be dying. I am the only one wincing here. Right. I believe the horns are audible only to me. When I am on the road, my brain registers the sound of a horn once every two seconds. The loud dissonance enters my system, making my insides spin. But when I am at the wheel, and I honk, hoping it clears my path, it has no effect. Other drivers around me do not react to the horn. Pedestrians do not move. Hawkers do not move. Oh maybe they are all aliens, unable to hear or perceive sound. Or maybe I am the alien, the sound of horns is audible only to me. The present cacophony doesn’t seem to be causing any other deaths anyway. Yes, that explains it. I am an alien. A dying alien.






Posted in Er-rant-ic behaviour | 36 Comments »

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