A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Questions and answers

Posted by Pepper on October 20, 2013

I happened to open TPPL’s blog the other day, and the post she had written spoke straight to me. She has listed out certain behavioural traits of her husband, PK. And how she, his beloved wife is the one common solution to all the problems. It made me think long and hard. I truly admire her, for I can never be like that. Here is how my reactions are different from hers.

1) What do I when Mint stuffs fresh green cilantro and curry leaves directly in the fridge without any cover or protection, causing them to shrivel up and dry?
Answer: I insist he changes his ways. When he doesn’t, I start nagging and snapping. Because I feel a lot of heartache each time I have to discard the coriander leaves.

2) What do I do when Mint forgets the geyser on in the bathroom, *every* *single* *day*?
Answer: I point it out to him every single day. And yet, he forgets the next day. I tell him, in exasperated tones that he forgets every day because he doesn’t try hard enough to remember. And then, once in 5 days I get really frustrated and I scream.

3) What do I do when Mint does not open the door when the bell rings, because he is too engrossed in his movie and because he says he did not register the sound of the doorbell?
Answer: I tell him I am too tired to keep running around on my own. He has no choice but to be more alert and open the door himself the next time.

4) What do I do when Mint chooses to dry a wet, freshly washed towel straight from the washing machine in a small, closed space like a bathroom?
Answer: I tell him to not be so lazy and dry the towel on the clothesline outside the house instead, because the wet towel will make the bathroom damp and smelly, and will in turn make the freshly washed towel smell too. He doesn’t listen always, but I make sure I tell him anyway.

5) What do I do when Mint takes the just cleaned car to the beach early in the morning every other day, and returns with a dirty, mucky, muddy car full of sand on the carpets?
Answer: I shout. I love my car. The moment it is cleaned, he takes it to the beach (where he plays frisbee and practically rolls in the water and the sand) and then drives back in that state, dirtying the car beyond measure right after it has been cleaned in the morning. Only to repeat the same process the next morning. So we basically have a dirty, sandy car all the time. I get mad and I shout. It hurts to see my beloved car in that state. I make sure the car is cleaned again, but I do not just let it be.

6) What do I do, when like PK, Mint refuses to tidy up the house when we have guests coming?
Answer: I keep asking him to please get up and tidy the place, until he actually does. Perhaps I am annoying. But I find it exhausting to do it all by myself. Also I do not see why I should.

I am not really complaining about Mint in this post, more like comparing the different ways in which TPPL and I react to similar situations. I am not denying or overlooking all that Mint does for me. For example, he cooks meals for me and hands them to me many times without me lifting a finger, and also clears the kitchen right after. He even yells at me if I enter the kitchen. But then I do the same for him too. We are both inherently lazy and it would be unfair if one of us were forced to shoulder majority of the responsibility. The problem is, Mint has to be coaxed and prodded and chased to complete his share of work. When he doesn’t, I grumble and insist he does. The result is, I find myself grumbling a lot.

I wonder how much more peaceful our lives would be if I were to lovingly complete such chores myself. But then, I don’t think I can do them lovingly. I would only end up working grudgingly.

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25 Responses to “Questions and answers”

  1. Mens! **big sigh**

  2. D said

    Nice post. Got me thinking!!!

  3. It’s a feel good post despite ur complaints and one can see love between Mint and his Pepper. Have an awesome week:)

  4. Loved reading your post Pepper.. The problem with both boys is their ‘laziness’ 😀 I am sure you will agree 🙂

    One more problem with PK is that he procrastinates such small things.. he says he will do it later..
    on the other side, I want certain things to be done on the spot like that very second, if he doesn’t completes that work I cannot see it, I jump in & finish that work. you know what I mean..

    Good thing is Pepper that you keep insisting Mint to do certain tasks & he agrees too.. with me, if PK doesn’t agrees first time, I don’t insist him more but I do it myself, yeah that is different thing that PK does feels guilty of not doing it but still sudharte nahi hai lol

    When PK really gets irritated of me giving him non-stop instructions, he says – “I don’t force you to do things as and when I say, you do it as per your convenience, then why am I not allowed to do so?? which I feel is so correct 😦

    btw.. does Mint complaints that you are always nagging & snapping?? 🙂

    • Pepper said

      That’s the thing babe, in our case, laziness is not exclusive to Mint. I am equally lazy :D. Which is exactly why I have to force myself to do my share of work, and anything more than that becomes a burden.

      Believe it or not, Mint has EXACTLY the same problem. He procrastinates endlessly. The difference is that unlike you, I do not jump in and finish the work myself. Perhaps because I have a relatively high tolerance to mess and lack of order. So when he says he will clean and clear the kitchen counter later, I let him be. And also let the peels stay there until he clears it. I suppose you, like my mom, cannot stand the sight of such things. But what I have learnt is that it is a good idea to not want everything to function as per your terms and time frames, and instead give others the space to do at their own time, unless of course it is of critical importance..

      The ‘I don’t force you to do things as and when I say, so why should you’ bit makes sense to me. Just that it doesn’t work all the time. Especially when you are not in control of the time frame. Laundry has to be done periodically (more so when you run out of clean clothes), dinner has to be eaten by a particular time, dishes have to be washed and kept ready before the next meal is cooked, etc. So if someone were to tell me, I ‘will choose to do laundry after the next 3-4 days’, I will have to step in and say that won’t work, because I need fresh clothes now. I do not think I am being unfair here. Some tasks demand that you follow a particular timeline. So I would not buy that argument.

      Ofcourse Mint is constantly joking about my nagging :P. But I do know he does it jokingly. He knows I am forced to nag (and waste a lot of my energy) because he does not do certain things without a good dose of it.

  5. Jazz said

    You and TP are better, here both of us are hopeless. 😐

    • Pepper said

      I am sorry Jazz, if you expect me to believe you are hopeless after seeing the drool worthy pics of all the home made food you put up, it is not going to work 🙂

      On a serious note, I think saying ‘we are both hopeless’ is just convenient and something that sounds cool. I accept, both of you must be really bad. Just like how Mint and I are. It is the point I was trying to make to TPPL. That when two individuals are equally lazy, it becomes that much harder for one person to take on the work load. But I do not think being truly hopeless is a very realistic possibility. Because like I said, food has to cooked and eaten, laundry has to be done, minimal standard of hygiene has to be maintained, so any two people have to work to survive. And this is just about who works how much..

      • Jazz said

        I know what you mean Pepper. Frankly we both love a clean home and enjoy cooking but not as a chore, we are lazy to do it everyday. What works for us now is since I stay at home, I clean and cook, but I just touch-up so the house looks presentable and cook what cooks sooner. And we both do the deep cleaning once a while.

        You know Pepper, my MIL tells me it was Ims who used to take interest in chores more than my SIL, so he is pretty good at the laundry, vacuum, etc.. and much better than me. But like I said we don’t do it daily like our parents. I sometimes wonder if this laid-back attitude will work when a kid comes into picture, then I tell myself we’ll think of it when the time comes. 🙂

        • Pepper said

          OKay that sounds just like us. I wonder how a child will fit into this lifestyle too. But then when it comes to children, I am not sure of anything.. 🙂

  6. R's Mom said

    Interesting..both your views and TPPL’s views..I could do a post on this one :):)

    I think I am more Peppery than Pani Purish 🙂

  7. Neeli said

    lovingly and grudgingly 😀 hahahahhaha sounds so good…

  8. haha, do you have a problem in getting him to shave? I do. If you have a solution to this particular problem, plssss tell me. Who do i get TCG to shave?

    • Pepper said

      Haha. Ofcourse I have a problem getting him to shave. I know I push him to do it. But I also realise I should stop doing it. He never pushes me to wax my legs, do my eye brows or any such thing. So it is only fair that I don’t either.

  9. Deeps said

    LOL!
    “We are both inherently lazy and it would be unfair if one of us were forced to shoulder majority of the responsibility.” Hah! That could so be the story of my household too 😀

  10. K said

    Hey! This reminded me of another article I read. Here is the link – http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1& .. I am trying to implement this – but get caught as I am very ‘obvious’ in my approach 🙂

  11. Oh boy does this happen in all homes, R thinks I should have been in military. He is a easy going guy and like to procrastinate things, but for me everything should happen as per my rule book. I am glad he is still sticking around. I will not be surprised if decides to leave me for this reason. Sometimes I feel why do I overkill things, why can’t I be like others and be relaxed on the cleanliness aspect. Everyone who walks into my home, more than home, they will say how clean it is. I waste lot of energy in this process. I wish I too had an easy going, lazy attitude.

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