Questions and answers

I happened to open TPPL’s blog the other day, and the post she had written spoke straight to me. She has listed out certain behavioural traits of her husband, PK. And how she, his beloved wife is the one common solution to all the problems. It made me think long and hard. I truly admire her, for I can never be like that. Here is how my reactions are different from hers.

1) What do I when Mint stuffs fresh green cilantro and curry leaves directly in the fridge without any cover or protection, causing them to shrivel up and dry?
Answer: I insist he changes his ways. When he doesn’t, I start nagging and snapping. Because I feel a lot of heartache each time I have to discard the coriander leaves.

2) What do I do when Mint forgets the geyser on in the bathroom, *every* *single* *day*?
Answer: I point it out to him every single day. And yet, he forgets the next day. I tell him, in exasperated tones that he forgets every day because he doesn’t try hard enough to remember. And then, once in 5 days I get really frustrated and I scream.

3) What do I do when Mint does not open the door when the bell rings, because he is too engrossed in his movie and because he says he did not register the sound of the doorbell?
Answer: I tell him I am too tired to keep running around on my own. He has no choice but to be more alert and open the door himself the next time.

4) What do I do when Mint chooses to dry a wet, freshly washed towel straight from the washing machine in a small, closed space like a bathroom?
Answer: I tell him to not be so lazy and dry the towel on the clothesline outside the house instead, because the wet towel will make the bathroom damp and smelly, and will in turn make the freshly washed towel smell too. He doesn’t listen always, but I make sure I tell him anyway.

5) What do I do when Mint takes the just cleaned car to the beach early in the morning every other day, and returns with a dirty, mucky, muddy car full of sand on the carpets?
Answer: I shout. I love my car. The moment it is cleaned, he takes it to the beach (where he plays frisbee and practically rolls in the water and the sand) and then drives back in that state, dirtying the car beyond measure right after it has been cleaned in the morning. Only to repeat the same process the next morning. So we basically have a dirty, sandy car all the time. I get mad and I shout. It hurts to see my beloved car in that state. I make sure the car is cleaned again, but I do not just let it be.

6) What do I do, when like PK, Mint refuses to tidy up the house when we have guests coming?
Answer: I keep asking him to please get up and tidy the place, until he actually does. Perhaps I am annoying. But I find it exhausting to do it all by myself. Also I do not see why I should.

I am not really complaining about Mint in this post, more like comparing the different ways in which TPPL and I react to similar situations. I am not denying or overlooking all that Mint does for me. For example, he cooks meals for me and hands them to me many times without me lifting a finger, and also clears the kitchen right after. He even yells at me if I enter the kitchen. But then I do the same for him too. We are both inherently lazy and it would be unfair if one of us were forced to shoulder majority of the responsibility. The problem is, Mint has to be coaxed and prodded and chased to complete his share of work. When he doesn’t, I grumble and insist he does. The result is, I find myself grumbling a lot.

I wonder how much more peaceful our lives would be if I were to lovingly complete such chores myself. But then, I don’t think I can do them lovingly. I would only end up working grudgingly.