Does it matter?

I am not much of a looker. I have a terrible nose and lousy skin that erupts every now and then, leaving behind visible blemishes that depress me. And my hair needs to be treated with a mix of hot irons, conditioners and chemicals in order for it to look somewhat presentable to the world. Okay fine, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because although I am not good looking, I can be classified as ‘average’. And that is not bad. But if you ask me, I don’t possess too many features I am proud of.

Except one. My waist. I was in my teens when I discovered that the perfect female body consisted of these elusive numbers, 36-24-36. Imagine my delight when I measured my waist and realised that I was, indeed a size 24. So there was atleast one thing about me that was considered just right and ‘perfect’ by the world. For the record, despite the years, my waist size has remain unchanged. My slim waist is perhaps the only feature I am truly proud of. I do get a lot of compliments for my eyes too, but my family is quick to make fun of my big eyes, so all it gets negated and I don’t take the compliments very seriously. My size 24 waist, however, I take very seriously and make it a point to show off as much as I can.

While we’re on the topic of showing off, here is a picture of me wearing my orange skirt. I bought this skirt when I was 13, though the label says it is meant for 9-10 year olds. Considering the fact that I stopped growing after 13, both horizontally and vertically, this skirt has stayed with me for all these years. I don’t wear it often, but I do air it out every now and then. Now tell me, isn’t this very show off worthy? If you think it is plain retarded, don’t say it.

My famed orange skirt

Proof of my claim

So there I was, chatting with a friend. I’ll call her R. I was telling R how I have acquired a lot of flab around my waist, and though I still do fit into my size 24 jeans, they feel a lot more tight. I do not want to take away the only perfect thing I have, so I must work out and get rid of the flab. She responded with a, “Don’t be so shallow, looks don’t matter at all. All that matters is your nature and the kind of person you are”

I’ve heard this statement endless times, and each time it leaves me confused. Yes, your nature and the kind of person you are matter a lot. But would I go on to say that looks don’t matter at all? No. Because I believe they do. I’ll talk about another friend, S. At over a 100 kgs, S is obese. She is a lovely person, but totally oblivious to her problem. She spends long hours wondering why she isn’t able to find a suitable match in the arranged marriage circuit. Why can’t any guy like me for the person I am, why should he only be interested in how I look, she questions. I wonder, what are the chances that a guy will discover her beautiful inner self, if he is already put off by her unappealing exterior?

I did believe for me to like somebody (as a mate), I needed to first be remotely attracted to him physically. The word here is ‘remotely’. Because chances are that if I was not even minutely attracted to him, I wouldn’t take the effort to know him better, and perhaps miss out on the awesome person he is. His good nature in this case would have been irrelevant and of not much use.

I fell in love with Mint because of the kind of person he is, and not because of how he looked. But there is no denying the significance of the initial physical attraction between us. In his Banana Republic tee, baggy jeans and a warm grin, I thought he looked very attractive when we met. With my hair tossed back, a clingy purple tee and my enthusiastic laughter, Mint thought I was cute and hot at the same time. And so we were both intrigued and started spending more time talking to each other, only to learn more about one another and finally fall in love. Would it have happened without that first spark? I doubt.

So yes, I do believe looks have a role to play in getting you attracted to somebody. What do you think? Does the initial flying of sparks matter?