A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Archive for September, 2015

Sea change

Posted by Pepper on September 29, 2015

While nagging Mint to clear the clutter from our bedroom the other day, I spent a moment to reflect upon the noticeable changes in my personality. To say my attitude towards life has changed in the past few years would be an understatement.

When Mint and I started living together after we were married, we realised we had a terrific partnership going. We were both appallingly lazy. We couldn’t believe we had found such perfect matches for ourselves. Our personalities were perfectly aligned. Any kind of work was considered evil by us. We would move a muscle only if we absolutely had to. We loved to sleep all day long. Wasn’t that the best way to utilize time?

We vacuumed our home only when we knew we couldn’t get away for another day without it. Some weekends we would mutually decide to skip taking a shower. We allowed the laundry to pile. While people around me would equate marriage to responsibility, I would laugh at them and tell them it was the opposite for me. Because back at my parents’ home, I was nagged and made to shoulder some responsibilities and maintain a semblance of tidiness around the house. I couldn’t get away with mess or any kind of callousness beyond a point.

On the other hand, marriage for me was a burst of freedom. Mint and I lived by ourselves, in a country far away from home. We were answerable to nobody and had no one to impress. The set up allowed me to explore new depths of laziness. Mint and I were completely in sync with each other’s desire to do nothing.

We were both very comfortable living amidst clutter. Tidying up wasn’t worth the effort. Perhaps it was also about the age. At 23, I was free and footloose. We both wanted the good stuff without having to lift a finger. We would roll out of bed only by noon on weekends, we got a lot of take away food because we wanted to escape the task of cooking. Since we had no loans or EMIs to cater to, we traveled a lot. Sometimes we made travel plans on a whim. I would be too lazy to even pack my bag and would use our car’s trunk as a closet. A bunch of tees and a pair of flip flops would be thrown in and we would drive off. Life was all about having fun.

Cut to the present. I don’t know what force I’ve been overcome by, but I have actually started feeling less repulsed by the idea of work. Work is no longer evil. Well, I must admit that I speak from a certain position of privilege. We have employed help that manages the everyday cooking and cleaning, things that we had to do by ourselves in the US. Having said that, I find myself doing things that I couldn’t imagine doing earlier.

For one, I have this undying need to keep the house tidy. This is the house that I have built with a lot of effort. While Mint was happy to have a bean bag and a TV along with an internet connection in our living room and end it at that, I was the one who insisted on featuring some kind of a visual appeal in our decor. I spent a lot of time choosing the colours of our cushions to ensure they matched the theme I was working around. I did a lot of things that I previously considered unworthy of my effort and time. And now that I have put in that effort, I want to ensure my home remains immaculate.

Some days, I cook lavishly, despite having a cook who is fully capable of taking care of our meals. Mint absolutely doesn’t understand why I ‘want’ to cook when I don’t have to. Of course, it is also because our cook has certain limitations and only cooks Indian food, which I get bored of after a point. But the fact that I sometimes choose to cook instead of ordering in or eating out is enough to baffle Mint.

I enjoy making life a celebration, even if it calls for some amount of effort. I bake a cake on some days, just to experience the joy of eating a home baked cake with my family. I enjoy working towards a vast menu when we have people coming for dinner and having our best cutlery and serving ware ready, because the extravagance makes me feel happy. Mint reminds me that I am the same person who ordered in pizza and served wine in disposable plastic cups every time we had people over at one time.

While this change in me may be considered good by some people, it certainly leaves a gap between Mint and me. He still harbours the same ambition in life, which is to laze around and do nothing. As a result, I find myself either reprimanding him all the time to keep things in order and take some effort to do certain things, or being mad at him for not complying. I feel upset every time he leaves behind his wet towel on the bed. He feels upset every time I want to clean the house or cook instead of flopping down on the couch with him. I know he misses the old me and often wonders what has gotten into me. I am no longer the person I was.

Perhaps this change is only momentary. I may return to my old self and go on to embrace my indolence once again. Or I may not. I have no idea. Until then, Mint and I will have to continue living on two different pages. In hindsight, this may not be a terrible thing. Because at times, I know I need the influence of his passive approach. I know I need to step back and just be. And I know for sure he needs my new found vigor to shake him out of his lethargy.

Posted in Life in India | 35 Comments »

To be a husband

Posted by Pepper on September 3, 2015

is a joyride. Not.

Because while you put your feet up and watch some TV, a sneaky wife may appear and start adorning your foot with her jewelry. She’ll start with her rubber band and place it around two of your toes, she’ll place the loops of her diamond-studded earrings around your two little toes, she’ll add a bangle around your big toe, she’ll let her chain ornament your foot and will even shove her butter-fly hair clip between two of your toes as a finishing touch.

Why, you ask? Well, just because she was bored.

PS – In case you are wondering about the said husband’s reaction, let me just say, he belongs to the zen category. Nothing perturbs him. Not only does he ignore his wife while she err, beautifies his foot, he even gives her a big smile once she is done. Much to her disappointment, she has failed to evoke a strong reaction, once again. The quest to rattle and annoy him continues..

Posted in Small joys, Splashes of Mint | 11 Comments »

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