A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Someday we’ll know

Posted by Pepper on January 9, 2016

Just a few hours ago, I was standing at the airport, holding her in an embrace. It was the moment. The moment I had pictured several times in my head over the past few months. Would I tear up? I hoped not. And I am proud to say, I did not, though I must admit I was pretty damn close.

Today is the day the BFF left for the US. In all likelihood, for good. I know how deeply this is going to impact my life. She is the closest friend I have had in my life. I have been unable to recreate the relationship I share with her with any of my other friends. Not having her around is a big loss for me. So much of our life depended on her and R. Our weekends will never be the same. I am beginning to wonder if we will ever be able to fill those gaps with other things. Or will we just learn to live with the gaps? I don’t really know.

There is so much I want to write about, but right now I feel a little paralysed. I need time. Time to accept that my life has changed. Maybe it will be as bright. I hope it will be. I know I will deal with whatever it is. But right now, I just need time.


10 Responses to “Someday we’ll know”

  1. Trust me, I know what it is like. You’ll learn to live without them but your days, your weekends and your life will never be the same. I miss my bestie terribly now. At midnights when I couldn’t sleep because my heartaches, I miss our midnight talks and masti.
    Though some relationships never change, distance and our busy lives will definitely have an impact on the bonds of friendship we share. But be assured, we will treasure them and love them more than ever.
    And that is the only thing that is of a little solace. Take care. Give her a smiley and stay happy.

  2. Hugs and you can always fly to US to meet her and err of course my twins too.

    • Pepper said

      I doubt it 😦 I’ve lived in the US for quite a long time and even visited very recently to want to go back there again anytime soon. A trip to the US is expensive and if I am spending so much money, I would rather use it to explore places I haven’t been to before. So, no. US won’t happen. Not for a long, long time..

  3. Goodbyes are always hard! But that is what makes future meetings precious and special.

  4. I know how it feels, Pepper. But, I am sure both of you will grow together even in distance.

  5. Preethi said

    Hugs Pepper. I can understand very well how it feels.

  6. My Era said

    Watching a BFF fly away is heartbreaking.
    May you find newer ways to connect with her so that the distance may never feel what it actually is.

  7. Hugs!

    I don’t really know what to say. I have lost touch with all of my friends post marriage and after relocating to Bangalore. Maybe I never had friendships that were meant to stick in the long run? I have no real friends now, none I can spend hours talking to or exploring places or sharing dilemmas. It is paralyzing at times, feels like I have a hole in the heart at times. 😦 I have got used to living like that. I have no one I can talk to at 3 AM, and it is a really sad thing. I have tried to recreate the friendships that I had in the past, but it is just not the same. It has been quite a few years since we lost touch, so it is definitely not from want of trying at either end. 😦 People say I have the OH, but that is not the same. You need people apart from family to talk to, to share the world with, don’t you? Especially girlfriends. This explains why I am overly dependent on the OH. I would like to change this situation this year, if I can.

    • Pepper said

      Hugs TGND! I SO totally understand how you feel. I have a total of 3 friends. I do feel blessed to have atleast 3, but I see people having so many friends, I wonder where I lost out. There are certainly more ‘friends’ in my life but I consider them to be mere hangout buddies, not real friends I can count on.

      I agree, having lesser friends around makes us more dependent on our partners. I too believe I am more emotionally dependent on Mint than I’d like to be. Let’s hope we can change this. Hugs again!

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