A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

This is YUGE! It changes everything – Part 2

Posted by Pepper on July 25, 2017

The positive home pregnancy test had left me feeling quite stunned for some reason. I had a million thoughts running through my mind. The very first one being that I had been on a high dosage of oral steroids to treat my eye problem. The steroids by the way, have completely ruined my face by now. My face is swollen, bloated and puffed up. Pregnancy is probably adding to it now. It looks like I have aged a decade in a mere 10 months.

All of that apart, I was really worried about how the consumption of steroids may have affected my pregnancy. I decided to try and wean off the steroids the moment I discovered I was pregnant. Unfortunately, the withdrawal made my eyes flare up almost instantly, but we were able to tackle that one episode. I have a lot to say about my Uveitis and the potential struggles I have been warned about, but I am choosing to not panic right now. We’ll deal with it if it happens.

My other big concern was my high heart rate. I remember some doctor expressing concern about how a pregnancy would affect my already elevated heart rate. And then there were the usual concerns. Will this pregnancy result in a healthy baby? Honestly, all these are concerns I still deal with.

I got myself to a doctor as soon as I could. Mind you, I was all alone. I had not told a word about the positive pregnancy test to my family. I knew they would be so excited, they’d be bouncing off the walls. And I wanted to confirm the news before I shared it with anybody. So other than Mint, nobody knew and unfortunately he was in the other end of the world.

So there I was at the doctor’s office, all alone. I shared all my concerns with her and she was able to alleviate some of my fears. She scheduled me for an ultrasound right away. We were hoping it wasn’t too soon to see a heartbeat. I would find out soon.

I remember lying on that bed and observing the doctor frown in concentration in the first few minutes of my ultrasound. What is it?! I wanted to yell. Tell me already before I explode. And then she let out a big smile and asked me if I saw what she saw? I glanced at the screen and honestly could not tell much. Also, I couldn’t believe I had allowed somebody to shove a wand inside my vagina. I wanted to hear that all was well and be done with this as soon as possible.

She went on to explain when all she got from me was a blank and confused look. “It’s too soon for you to be able to see clearly. But this part here is where the head will be”. And then she moved the probe and continued. “And this here, this is the second head”. I was terrified in that one instant. Two heads? Am I having a baby that has two heads, I asked her. She seemed equally confused by my reaction at first.

And then she said it. “I see two babies with two healthy heartbeats here. You are having twins! Congratulations”. I don’t exaggerate when I say my jaw dropped to the floor in that one instant. Twins? How’s that possible. These things can’t happen to me. They only happen to others. Is this real?

I’ve seen so many videos now of people finding out they are having twins, and jumping and squealing in excitement is the most common reaction. Me? I think my first few feelings were that of bewilderment, shock, panic and alarm.

Two babies at one time? How on earth would irresponsible people like Mint and me be able to shoulder a responsibility of that magnitude. I knew I always said I wanted two kids instead of one, but did I even know what I was saying? Would we be able to afford it? Would we be able to cope with the endless demands of parenting two kids of the same age?

I was told twin pregnancies came with a host of complications. I already had several health issues to deal with, and now I had to worry about not just one but two babies other than my own body?

I felt so overwhelmed that I burst into tears. And I am not referring to tears of joy here. The doctor on seeing my reaction asked me to not panic. “We always have the option of doing a selective reduction at around 12 weeks. Then you can go on to carry a single fetus”.  Great. Now we should consider killing one of the two babies at 12 weeks? I couldn’t believe the things I was hearing that day. The entire visit to the doc was a big shock to my system and I was dealing with it all alone.

I spoke to Mint on phone as soon as I possibly could. When I told him the news of the twins, that idiot boy continued to think I was joking. Duh. I finally sent him the report of the ultrasound. For a change, my ever calm, non-reactive husband seemed equally perplexed by the news. “I don’t know how we can possibly handle twins” is what he finally said and that made me let out another sob. It’s not what I wanted to hear.

I do understand the dilemmas he was going through. I had had to convince him to have one child and here we were having to deal with the prospects of two at once. Both of us felt completely unprepared and terrified. Our move back to the US seemed far more daunting now. How will we get by without support? I have had many episodes of sobbing and wondering how we will do this, many moments of self doubt, many fears and a ton of worry.

It has been a journey. From worrying and fretting to actually rejoicing and celebrating. It took us a while to get here, but we’re finally in a place where we see and acknowledge the advantage of having two babies at once. We’re in love with these two precious babies that are yet to make an entrance in this world. I now worry about their health and safety and pray that our cute hearts are well. Say a prayer for these two, will you?

Yes, we’re still dealing with the anxiety of how we will manage two kids, but we’re also celebrating what we have been blessed with.

To be continued..


92 Responses to “This is YUGE! It changes everything – Part 2”

  1. Mona said

    OMG Pepper… I am screaming right now! Twins…could your story get any more interesting! For years I have silently read your blog and now you are giving us these surprises and I can’t hold back but comment, because that is what I can do.
    Wish you a happy and safe pregnancy… praying for you and your twins! Can’t wait for the next part…It’s like a mind boggling thriller now! 😛

  2. Bhavani said

    OMG pepper now this is Yuge times 100…..double the fun double the everything:)

    Definitely will pray for a smooth pregnancy and the arrival of the bundles of joy…

    Take care and try to enjoy your pregnancy I know easier to say…

    Waiting for the continuation of your story can’t wait…

    – Bhavani

  3. Ranjini said

    Congratulations! I had missed seeing your earlier post.

    And whaaaat?? Twins?? That’s amazing! My husband has a twin brother and there was a good chance I would have conceived twins.( I was secretly hoping I would) but nope. Dang, I miss being pregnant.
    I hope you are doing well and feeling well? 🙂 hugs!

    • Pepper said

      Mint has a history of twins in his family too. I still didn’t expect it to happen to us.
      You miss being pregnant? Damn I miss being unpregnant (?) where I could move without aches and pains. But I guess the pregnancy will be missed once it is over.
      Okay, let me hope you have twins then next time 😀

  4. Holy moly!! Whatta news! Twins?!
    Don’t worry. Hoping and praying everything will be alright.

  5. shwethays said

    Really yuge, all the best.

  6. Wow! That’s double congratulations then! That does require some getting used to, I guess. You have plenty of people to talk to, who have had twins. Where are you now? In Mumbai or back in SFO?

  7. tlvidya said

    Hearty Hearty congratulations pepper.. I am so so happy for you!!!

  8. Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God Oh My God!
    Congrats, so awesome and so happy for you! Twins! 😀
    You guys will make wonderful parents! Congrats!
    Ok, now I will read the posts properly because due to my CAT tuned brain, I practically picked the important parts as if to answer comprehension questions 🙂

    • Pepper said

      Thank you thank you! So glad you think we’ll make good parents. We’re so convinced we’ll end up doing a horrible job cos of how lazy we are 😐

      Haha, I do the same about jumping to the important parts while reading something like this..

  9. Anu said

    Wow! I came here after a long time and what do I see…two posts about a double dhamaka! 😀
    Awesome! Heartiest congratulations Pepper and Mint! 🙂
    Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery! Will keep you in my prayers!

  10. Nithvin said

    I just had to delurk to congratulate you..double congratulations Pepper! Twins? Yay!! Knowing you only from your blog , I am so excited and happy for you guys! Here’s wishing you a safe , happy and healthy pregnancy 🙂

  11. Bikramjit said

    God bless .. you will manage I m sure..

    Best wishes always.. and TAKE CARE..
    All will be fine…

  12. scorpria said

    Oh my God Pepper! Double congratulations! I just had goosebumps, because I am forever telling myself I want twins…and reading your account of panic and everything is reminding me of “be careful what you wish for”!!

    Ok – the reason I want twins is because I DO want two babies, but I don’t see myself going through a second delivery! I make a mountain out of a small pin prick, so one delivery itself is a killing thought, forget two.

    Good God – hugggggggggggsss and so so so happy for you. Alllllll my prayers! ❤

  13. Congratulations on the double happiness ❤ ❤
    May God bless you three with good health 🙂

  14. Arch said

    Oh wow! It must have been really overwhelming. But so glad and happy to read that you’ve got past that and are happy about the twins. I am so happy for you. ❤ It's a double blessing! God bless the children. Take care!

  15. Smita said

    Oh! My God!!!! I am so so so happy for you and yes a little worried too. Please do take care of yourself and do not over stress ok??? Just try to enjoy the pregnancy and then worry about handling the kids!!!!


  16. Nidhi Jolly said

    Wow! I can imagine that must feel both amazing and overwhelming. Many congrats and best wishes to you and the babies

  17. Deepa said

    whoa!?!?!?! Darling, am so, so happy albeit a tad worried for you too. Over the moon you’re gonna be a momma and that too, to two darling, sweetie pie angels. Yup, you will have to be very patient, trust in God that he knows what is right for mint and you and remember you both have two sets of still reasonably healthy and very supportive sets of parents to see you thru this journey and beyond.

    All my love, prayers and lots and lots of hugs to all of you(circling the lil ones too here).

    Will write to you soon, I need to snap out of my depression pronto what with such good news and all and haul my a… to meet with you if you’re upto it. Hope you’re back in the bay area now.

  18. Vijji said

    Hi Pepper, I am a regular but anonymus follower of your blog for the past 3.5 years and this post is making me comment for the first time…The twins part made a big smile on my face. You are a honest soul and may you and Mint be blessed with all the happiness of parenthood… A double congratulations… vijji…

  19. Preethi said

    Hearty congratulations to you and Mint !
    And that too twins. So far we have 3 sets of twins in our family and I know how the journey is. Take care of your health dear.
    If you don’t mind, can I suggest something to bring down your heart rate? I know you receive tons of free advice when you are pregnant but I really feel this is going to help you. Find a good yoga instructor and practice breathing exercises. There is a lady in my yoga group who had a similar problem and after 4 weeks of of practice she says that her heart rate is getting normal now.

    All the best Pepper, I am so excited for you.
    May you have a smooth pregnancy. Enjoy every moment of this phase. I have 2 kids but I still miss this feeling of ‘being pregnant’ and feeling the baby in your tummy. One can’t express it in words….
    Loads of love and best wishes coming your way…

    • Pepper said

      Wow you’ve 3 sets of twins in your family. Strong twin gene present somewhere!
      I absolutely dont mind such sweet suggestions. Thanks Preethi.. I know I should do yoga sincerely but for reasons unknown I just dont 😐 Hope I kick msyelf into action with your comment..

      Thanks a lot once again 🙂

  20. Maya said

    Wowwww! Welcome to the twin mommy club, Pepper. I know how daunting it feels now. Hugs. Let me know if you need any suggestions/tips. Will be happy to help with whatever I know! 🙂

  21. ajay said

    My best wishes to you 🙂 I am sure you and Mint will give weather it all and give all the love and care to the other two. All will be good. Take care 🙂

  22. SA said

    Congratulations Pepper! I am so excited for you guys! I am a mom of 1.5 year old twins and can tell you it will be a blast! 🙂 Take care of your health, my body took a beating by the time i had my girls but you wont remember any of it when you see them in your arms! ❤

    • Pepper said

      Wow.. one more twin mommy! My body has already gone for a beating SA, and I keep wondering how much worse it will get..
      But you’re right. Having them in your arms will make everything worth it 🙂

  23. The Bride said

    OMG OMG OMG! I didn’t think it would get yuger than you being pregnant, but twins! OMG.

    I am sure you and Mint will make adorable parents, and that you will cope. Surround yourself with as much help as you can, and take it one day at a time.

  24. seema gopinath said

    Awwwwwwww greates NEWS!! Congrats guys

  25. Boiling said

    Oh :O This is a twist I didn’t anticipate! Things will work out well in the end. Double congratulations and wish you (& babies) good health .

    • Pepper said

      Thank you. Yep… we totally didn’t anticipate this either. Though in hindsight given the history of twins in Mint’s family, maybe we should have.

  26. Aarti said

    Congrats dear and stay cool … everything will turn out fine …..

  27. Let me just tell you that you have never ever looked prettier with puffed up and bloated face. You are going to be alright and so are the precious twins. Welcome to the club *I don’t know why I am laughing like Gabbar here.*

  28. Ramya Ramachandran said

    Congratulations Pepper!!

  29. Prachee said

    Wow twins..that is really going to be an exciting ride.
    Many congratulations to you and Mint. Take care of your health and enjoy the journey… 🙂

  30. 🙂 that was a nice surprise. Well double the congratulations then!

  31. meghajamba said

    Aww! I am a regular reader of your blogs. Congratulations to both of you! And god bless both the babies 🙂 Enjoy this phase to the fullest!! And don’t worry at all – you guys will be great parents. Take good care of yourself.

  32. Shivani said

    Congratulations to both of you! God bless the peppermint babies 🙂

  33. mschamko said

    Wow, have been reading you silently for AGES!, SO so so happy for u!

  34. Jo said

    Heii.. I also belong to the regularly reads, but hardly comment club.. Congratulations PepperMint! Waiting to read about your family’s reaction.. Have a happy and safe pregnancy!

  35. Mrs B said

    Oh my God! Oh my God!!!!!! Congratulations Pepper. Two blogs back, I had a feeling you will announce that you were pregnant, last blog, I smiled that you were indeed pregnant. But this is a HUGE surprise. I actually yelled as I read the news. Wow. Wish you and Mint the very best. Will pray for the four of you!! Your lives will never be the same.. but in a good way. Stay blessed. Much love.

  36. Woah! Two two…that’s such a huge surprise! Congratulations and congratulations 🙂

    This reminds me of the mann mein laddoo phoota, dusra ladoo phoota ad, lol.

  37. Childwoman said

    Congratulations honey! This is amazing, all my love to you. Everything will be okay and the babies will be healthy. Hugs and kisses to them 🙂
    Be well and stay safe. Always.

  38. Sujatha Ramesh said

    Hi Pepper,

    I have been a silent reader of your blog for years and I had to comment for this post –was shocked for a minute !!!!

    Congrats to you and Mint.. I am sure you both will be excellent parents!!

    Take care of your health– will pray for you.

  39. Suji LN said

    Congratulations! Another silent reader, who is very happy for you and Mint! Take care, keep smiling and stay positive – you’ll sail through the pregnancy.

  40. aprawriter said

    Congrats both of you!! All the very best for everything to come!!

  41. wifeathome said

    Congratulations hi I am also a silent reader But I have to comment today as I am also a twin mama .I have a 4 year old son and twin 18 month old daughters.I will not lie the first few months with twins are brutal in fact the whole ffirst year is very hard but once they are a bit older it gets a little easy- they play together they sleep together sometimes my girls play in their room for over an hour..it was very difficult with my son to keep him engaged and occupied.. The most important tip is to keep the twins on the same schedule like when the one twin is eating please wake the other also to eat .in that way their routine is roughly the same. I know it’s very hard to wake up a sleeping baby . You will make it.it’s a very fun and special experience like when they hug each other ordance together holding hands…lots of good health vibes and healthy babies vibes coming your way:)))

    Also please invest in a good crib.initially they will sleep in one crib together but later on you will need two cribs..

  42. I kept seeing the same title for your pregnancy posts in my reader at intervals, and silly me, kept feeling that it is the same post. I just now realised they are part of a series! How duh! Just how idiotic can a person be!

    Your pregnancy sounds eerily similar to mine. I had an anxious time all through my pregnancy, for various reasons. I have written about some issues in my blog posts, but some others I chose not to. I would say just trust in God, stay calm and collected, pray as much as you can, ask for blessings and prayers from friends and loved ones – only this will carry you through. It did, for me. I send good vibes and hugs and prayers your way too.

    You let someone shove a wand through your vagina, you say? Well, ha ha. Pregnancy is just the beginning of it. Childbirth, breastfeeding, et all will make you so shameless, I tell you, you won’t have any qualms in lifting your shirt up and feeding your bubs in the midst of a crowded market if the situation demands. I’ve seen that happen to people. Sorry if I sound harsh – I don’t mean to sound that way, I am merely stating what I have seen happen in real life.

    You know what? Two babies at one shot are waaaayyyy better than two pregnancies and two babies, I believe, especially if it is your first pregnancy. You get a whole lot of benefits that way. I thought I was going to have twins too at one point. 🙂 Another similarity in our pregnancy stories.

    Last but not the least, you might like reading this old post of mine, about the bub’s birthing story. https://thegalnxtdoor.wordpress.com/2016/01/24/the-birth-story/

  43. I’ve been a silent follower of your blog for ages but had missed reading it for many months now. Today, randomly, I opened your page and look at the BIG news staring at me 🙂 Heartiest congratulations, Pepper. Really glad for you and Mint. All the very best!

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