A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Archive for September, 2017

This is YUGE! It changes everything – Part 8

Posted by Pepper on September 3, 2017

This is going to be the last part of this series. Here are a few moments that have stood out for me in this pregnancy.

We were waiting for one of my ultrasounds when we were handed out a form to fill. It asked for ‘Mother’s name and DOB’. Without a thought, I wrote down my mother’s name and date of birth. I was then laughed at and told that they needed my name and DOB. My name? As a mother? It was then that I realised how alien the idea of being a mother seemed to me. I relate more to being my mother’s child as opposed the being the mother of a child. Let alone the mother of two children!

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For a very long time, Mint and I were stressed by the idea of managing two babies at once. I can’t say we aren’t stressed anymore, but there was this one little incident that made me go through an attitude shift. During an ultrasound, the doc suddenly exclaimed in the most excited way, ‘Oh look, the babies are holding hands!’. Now technically this isn’t possible. The babies are in two different sacs so they can’t have any actual skin contact.

But, the sacs are thin membranes, more like plastic bags and the babies can almost touch each other. On the screen, we could see Baby A and Baby B reaching out to each other and doing something like a handshake with their *tiny* hands. The doctor went ‘AWWWW’ and I think in that one instant I did too. What an adorable sight. That’s when I decided. I know we are in for a tough ride, but with such cute things around us, I know we have a lot to celebrate and look forward to.

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If anyone were to ask me what I believe is the hardest thing I have done for these babies so far, I will have a ready response. Abstaining from caffeine! I can’t believe I completely gave up tea and coffee for so many months. There have been times I have been craving that taste, for the feel of that one droplet of coffee to fall on my tongue. Those times I take a sniff of the filter coffee decoction. Caffeine addiction is a very real thing.

I also crave for cups of adrak wali chai (ginger tea) and a hot bowl of Maggi masala. All things I completely gave up and believe I need a pat on the back for.

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We attended a ‘Caring for a new born class’ which again told me how unprepared I am to care for a baby. They gave us life size new born dolls which we had to hold correctly, swaddle, diaper, clean, cradle, etc. I couldn’t even hold the doll the right way. I have to say Mint is a pro and I have no idea where he learnt this skill from. All my life I have refused to hold a new born or any baby while they have wobbly necks. I usually sit in the center of the bed and have somebody place them on my lap. Now I am going to be made to care for not one, but two new born babies at once. Fun times.

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I have tried my best to smile through this pregnancy but God it has been really hard. The killing back ache, the burning acid reflux, the complete lack of sleep, the swelling and pain in my feet, it just doesn’t end. Here is a pic of my sumo wrestler foot. The swelling extends from my toes and goes up to my thighs. And trust me when I say this, the pics don’t capture how bad it is. I am unable to stuff my feet into any shoes. I have some special adjustable velcro slippers that I wear.

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For perspective, here are my pre-pregnancy feet/legs. I swear they were a quarter of the size they are now. This swelling really sucks.

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It also keeps annoying me that I can’t trim my toe nails. I just can’t bend over with my belly obstructing practically everything. And between managing his full time job and an endless commute and cooking and handing me meals and taking care of the dishes and massaging my feet and back 20 times a day, Mint has no time to clip my nails.

I must add here that my mom arrived last week and what a refreshing change it was. Things have now smoothed out and her presence is so reassuring. We are so so relieved. When mama is there, everything is taken care of.

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We still haven’t finalised the names for the babies, but what we seem to have made up our mind about is their last name. In my ideal world, our kids would have both Mint and my last name, with a hyphen. Mint however has argued with me and insisted that he wants the kids to have only my last name. He has a lot of logical reasons which I will not get into here, but it took me a while to adjust to the idea of our kids only carrying my last name. Social conditioning runs deep.

My thought process has evolved and I now agree with Mint when he says that if the kids were to have only one last name, it should be the mother’s. After all the pains of pregnancy and child birth and breast feeding a woman goes through, it makes no sense to him when only the man’s name gets passed on. Have I already mentioned I love my feminist husband?

And so our kids will have only my last name. Period. You can imagine how my in-laws are reacting to this. Maybe I should do a separate post on this last name issue.

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Finally, the big news. The babies are going to be here in 10 days! I cannot for the life of me believe it. Baby B was not growing too well due to space constraints and was diagnosed with IUGR. We are also facing some other complications that I will not get into now. So keeping all that in mind, they made the decision to pull them out early. I know they are going to be very little when they are born and may need help in the initial stages. I hope I am able to post once again before they arrive, but if not, please do pray for us!

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