A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

It’s my life!

Posted by Pepper on January 31, 2018

I am exhausted. Too exhausted to even explain how exhausted I am. I miss this space terribly, but every time I think of stopping by, that one feeling takes precedence – exhaustion. I’ve spent the past few months pleading and negotiating with God for one night of good sleep. That is yet to happen.

I don’t even attempt to shower everyday. The act calls for more energy than I possess. I don’t think I qualify as a palatable specie of the human race.  And I am beyond caring.

We still try and do small things to keep ourselves sane. Head out for lunch sometimes. Or even run to the grocery store to break out of the feed, burp, diaper cycle. But each trip is all about juggling between Cotton and Candy and we end up even more exhausted. Those little trips are important though. We pick exhaustion over insanity.

‘We have no life’, I cried to Mint on a cold Saturday afternoon. He insisted that we should step out and take a walk. As usual, I was ready with my standard response. I feel too exhausted to stir. He reminded me that exhaustion was going to be our default state for a long time but we simply have to get our act together and move on.

So after a little bit of coaxing from him, we strapped Cotton and Candy into their carriers and head out of the door. We do go for walks every now and then but just like everything else, it requires a fair bit of convincing from Mint. I need to be assured that I can do it. I will survive the exhaustion and it will be worth it.

Cotton and Candy love watching the big buses that roll by every now and then. We get a change of scene and some fresh air. So I tell myself it is worth it. We’ll remember the walk we had on this chilly afternoon.

We picked up some hot chocolate as we passed by a tiny store and that swirling cup of chocolate warming my hands made me feel a new kind of delight. We continued chatting as we stopped by a crossing. We spoke about how different our life is now and how we have learnt to find joy in small things. And as we waited to cross the road, I happened to spot this. It was scrawled on a post.


I burst out laughing thinking of how appropriate this seemed to be. Dear stranger, thank you for leading me to the truth. I appreciate you taking the time out to make sure I am aware of my lack of life. Because of course, if I am not speeding by, if I am not rushed enough, if I actually have the time to stand and stare, I have no life.


24 Responses to “It’s my life!”

  1. scorpria said

    Gosh – many many hugs to you! I pray and hope that God grants you that one night of sweet sleep sooooonly.

    But, I’d say, “…if I am not speeding by, if I am not rushed enough, if I actually have the time to stand and stare…” then I most certainly have a life because I am not on auto mode! 😀

  2. Aww the vision of you guys out with the two bundles in the carriers is too cute !! Yes, enjoy the small things babe ..

  3. aarya said

    I just love how you twisted the meaning of that scrawled post. Hoping that Cotton and candy are doing well and so are you guys. Take care 😊

  4. Aww man. I hope you get that night long sleep soon.

  5. With one, days blur together. With 2, I cannot imagine how tough it must be! Hang in there and it will all pass in a few months, err years? Atleast ☺

  6. Ghata said

    Hey Pepper..hang in there! Slowly it will get better. Until then, try to have fun. Managing twins is no joke. Wish you lots of patience and courage.
    Also, how is it going with the in-laws?

  7. metherebel said

    Hugs to you Pepper!!! Hang in there. This shall pass too. Wishing you a good night’s sound sleep. Love to Cotton and Candy.

  8. Deboshree said

    Hi Pepper, I am here after so long and am so excited to read about the new developments in your life! Wishing you all the best, and my love to Cotton and Candy.

    Loved how you interpreted that scrawl. Indeed, what is this obsession with rushing all the time?

  9. seema3 said

    I wonder who took the time to write that out 🙂 and loved your take on it…It will definitely be exhausting with twins, hang in there, it will only get better.

  10. So good to see an update here. That means a lot, with your given setting.
    Pick sanity, pick fresh air and the little things of joy. That’s the only way to survive this phase.

    Yes, this too shall pass. Brighter days and restful night are in the horizon . Hang in there.

    Tight {{Hugs}} .

  11. Anon said

    Hope you come back and write soon pepper

  12. ash said

    Dear pepper,
    I hope you find rest , I coming back to your big after a long time..
    One thing regarding that job post you did ,I may get brickbats for this but…I find mostly Indian Tamil women to be the worst of the worst offenders ..I am one too but brought up in B’lore.
    I have heard everything said to you over and over again.I have been generous about money , groceries ,shoulder to cry on , but in return I have been trampled over while they are saying I am too generous ,too simple ,too helpful …they still walk all over me ……..well I am a B*&%h now !!!!
    Now, I avoid them like the plague , and believe me it has done a lot of good, trust them not , you are only a tool in their life for some purpose.Give them an inch of space and they will demand your life.
    Also , in this country age is no limit to getting a job , so even at 50 you can start anew , so focus on making yourself happy .Get takeouts , vacations ,call your mama back again , you can earn all the money back…no palm there….but focus on your happiness and forget the f*$@^*s whose aim is to belittle other decent human beings !!!!!!
    I have also wondered how these women cook so much…

  13. Srishty said

    waiting for new posts since seems like years, meanwhile ill continue re-reading 🙂

  14. Pepper, come back 😦
    Selfish of me, I know, but come back!

  15. orbitbud said

    I agree with Anon.. Been thinking of you all.. hope you are well.. miss reading your posts.

  16. B said

    Hope you are well Pepper. All the best with the new ones.

  17. Tara said

    Pepper come back. I have read your entire blog thrice

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