Pepper
H for Hair
Posted by Pepper on April 11, 2019
We just got done with shampooing Cotton and Candy’s hair and I am so very glad we don’t have to go through this terrorizing experience again for another week. Yes, we wash their hair only once a week on average and if I had a choice, I would probably wash it once a month. Or never.
What is it about a hair bath that makes them shriek and cry like that? While Cotton is not so bad, Candy is a nightmare to deal with in the bath tub. Washing her hair is like going on a war. The entire bathroom turns into a war zone. Again, this war cannot be fought by either Mint or me alone. It needs both of us to team up as we try to tackle our opposition who will continually try to flee the battle field by climbing out of the tub.
The dreaded shampoo is our main weapon of destruction and leaves almost all of us injured, either mentally or physically. Candy cries so much, it results in her throwing up. Which causes in us a wave of panic because we have worked so hard to get her to eat. And we see our efforts going down the drain, literally. It leaves Mint and me soaked since the on going violence makes us lose focus of the hand shower. We resign as the spray continues to change angles and hits us in the face, on our arms, knees and whatever else that is left of us. We are a wet, sloppy mess. She continues to cry, threatening to throw up some more. How many casualties do we have to deal with?
To add to it, we have to go through this operation not once, but twice. The first time as we try to lather and wash her hair after a shampoo, and the second time as we go through it with a conditioner. Every time we feel thankful that our bathroom is not within ear shot by any means. No passer by or neighbour can hear her cries, or I’m afraid we would have Child Protection Services knocking on our door.
Why does it have to turn into a war every time? Why can’t she just look up when asked to? Why do we all feel so wounded by the end of it? For now, I just feel glad we survived. We bundle up a sobbing, hiccupping little girl and take her out to her very concerned brother who has been waiting for her to get freed.
Mint goes about picking up their bath toys and cleaning up the tub as I dry the kids and bury my nose in their freshly washed and conditioned hair. My sweet smelling babies have calmed down by now and are willing to give me a hug. A week is a long time, I tell myself. We don’t have to go through this again. Not very soon.
Laila said
I so identify with you. My 2 year old used to throw a fit the moment he saw me holding the shampoo bottle. Even before we could start, he would clutch on to his Dad or me and say “All Done” repeatedly… I found it really funny though. And he is definitely getting better. Give her some time, and Candy will soon love it too.
Pepper said
Haha, that’s funny. Both Cotton and Candy love repeating ‘Done’ too when they don’t want something..
I hope you’re right and that Candy really starts being more comfortable with her hair baths.
Bhavani said
Oh god that’s hard! At this age everything is a phase! I am sure they will get past this and start enjoying their head showers soon!
Pepper said
Yep…I am trying to make myself believe that.
N said
You write so well, I wish you wrote more posts every single day 😀 Looking forward to hearing the continuation of the birth story. Happy Bath time next week 😀
Love,
Nithya
Pepper said
You are so generous.. thank you 🙂 Will get to the birth story soon.
Cathy said
Wow! Sounds like quite the ordeal. We used to have the same thing with brushing teeth for our son. One day we explained that sugar bugs were in his teeth and he had to brush to get them out or they would but his teeth all up. After that he became a champion brusher
We made it sound very bad of course. Maybe you can try that ha ha
Pepper said
I am waiting for them to get a little older, Cathy. If we give them such explanations now, I am not sure how much they will understand. Hopefully soon though
Ashwathy said
Yegads!! Seriously? That description made me cringe. I could imagine every single detail. And I don’t know whom to feel more sorry for – you or Candy. Or even Cotton who is wondering what on earth is going on in that bathroom! Terrible when kids don’t like bathtime, especially hairwash.
Ashwathy said
Perhaps you could skip the conditioner once in awhile? Not the ideal way of doing it but if at all it reduces your ordeal a bit then just thought why not?
Pepper said
She has these wild curls and needs the conditioning yaar. Not just that, we even have to use a protein dense detangler after it..
Ashwathy said
Sigh. Ok. Remember someday you will look back and laugh.
Deboshree said
My God, a hair-bath sounds so soothing to me this hot summer afternoon, but your post made me think otherwise! 😛
Pepper said
She probably takes after me. I HATE hair baths till this date. It’s just too much work. Lol.
Ashwathy said
Ah! Then you can’t blame her. Were you as bad in your toddlerhood? Your mum would have the answer.
Deboshree said
Ahhh now we know! 😛
perspectivesandprejudices said
There are some amazingly insightful parenting groups on Facebook that have awesome advice for these kind of situations. My son used to hate having his hair washed. I started getting into the shower with him. I wash his hair while we shower together, bounce around and sing songs. He lays his head on my shoulder and seems to enjoy the water hitting his back. My husband is always around and picks him up once he’s done.
For the food, have you looked into baby-led weaning? It is about distraction-free eating and trusting the baby to develop a positive relationship with food. I swear by it. You’ll need to cut out the distraction cold-turkey and start teaching your child to feed themselves. Look up the traditional weaning group on Facebook, research baby-led weaning online or let me know if you have questions 🙂
Pepper said
Oh that’s an interesting way to bathe the baby. Just that then you have to time your showers together I suppose.
About the food, I have read so much about BLW. We tried it for the longest time before giving up on it. Feeding them has turned into such a task, we should probably give BLW another shot for all our sake. I would love to talk to you some more about it.
perspectivesandprejudices said
Not all showers – just the hair wash which happens once on the weekend 🙂
Preethi said
I hear you Pepper. Until he turned 4, getting a haircut for my son was a big task. He used to get terrified, cry his lungs out and throw up. I used to cry too looking at him. Now that I look back on those days, we have a good laugh but it wasn’t easy at that phase. We had a similar problem with doctors too :-). Trying to make him overcome his fear felt like a milestone too.
I can only imagine how stressful and difficult it can be to go through this once every week. Hope Candy gets to reach her ‘milestones’ soon. Good luck
Pepper said
We have that problem with hair cuts too but then at least they aren’t a weekly affair. Good to know everything is a phase and it gets better from here ..
Syona said
a tip you can feel free to disregard. Use a mild “no tear” shampoo ( we used johnson), give it to your daughter, ask her to create foam and bubbles and then gently using her hand you can apply it on her own head. Maybe if she is doing the thing herself, she wouldn’t be so scared of it? my son loved washing his hair on his own… he too had messy curls before the “mundan” and this eased the screaming
Pepper said
While she is happy to bathe and lather her body on her own, she hates touching her hair. And even if we do let her start off on her own, we have to intervene and do it at some point. It results in awful wailing. We’ve tried it all 😦
Syona said
I understand… Kids are unpredictable… Won’t it be better to get her a very short Bob.if there are no compulsions. Shorter hair, lesser chances of entangling… Low maintenance… Just a thought
Pepper said
It will most certainly be better, Syona. I just need to get over the thought of the heart break that will follow after chopping off her hair.Sobs. If and when we can do that, we will go short. Until then, I know we are to be blamed for this.