A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

I for Idolize

Posted by Pepper on April 12, 2019

Kids are known to idolize their parents. At least that is the general perception. You, as a parent are a role model for your children. They learn what they observe around them. Your behaviour, your habits set precedents. It is this, this very reality that I hate.

I am a flawed individual. This worked out okay before we had kids, but now that we do, Mint and I are always fretting about the kind of examples we set. What behaviour of ours could be internalized by our children? Oh God, the pressure. I tell you, it sucks

For example, I really want Cotton and Candy to be morning people. I have seen first hand the kind of advantage individuals who start their day early have. Other than being able to fit in a lot more things, I find these people generally more organized and structured. So of course, if I want CottonCandy to learn to wake up early, straighten their beds and start their day with some structure, I have to imbibe the same routine. But I can’t. Mint and I love sleeping in.

Cotton seems to be a morning person so far and wakes up by 7.30 am even on weekends, but I wonder how long that will continue? What they see around them is two adults sleeping in, being lazy and living a lethargic life. I wish they saw energetic parents who woke up and had a routine that included some good exercise.

Or what we eat for example. We have so far been quite particular about what Cotton and Candy eat and in general give them only healthy food. But now every time I dig into my bowl of Kraft Mac n Cheese, I see Cotton tugging at me and pleading for his share of ‘Paatta’, which by the way, I find adorable. Who has the heart to refuse a baby asking for PASTA in such a cute way?

The only way to not feed him that crap is to not eat it myself. What an unfair expectation. Just because I am full of follies, doesn’t mean I want my children to turn out like that. How I wish I could tell him ‘Look, this is unhealthy crap that I am eating. I am allowed to eat it. But you aren’t’.

Or let’s talk about good habits. We want our kids to brush their teeth twice a day. But Mint and I are those gross people who don’t do it ourselves. Yet, we do make the kids brush before bed. And often, I brush alongside them because I know they learn all that they see and all that jazz.

Or the language we use. Both Mint and I use the F word generously in our conversations. No, we don’t use it an as expletive. Well, that too. But it’s more about it being a casual part of our language. Now let’s not get into right and wrong here, but you see, the amount of pressure we have to put on ourselves to NOT use that word in front of Cotton and Candy?

We have slipped a few times and instantly been paranoid about what they could possibly pick up. In fact, the first time I heard Cotton excitedly say ‘Kuck’, I was pretty sure we are doomed and the damage had already been done. Until I saw him pointing at the picture of a duck. Phew.

Parenting is tough business.





7 Responses to “I for Idolize”

  1. Ashwathy said

    Hahah! I love this post. This is something we discussed long back isn’t it? About how we’d have to take the trouble to change ourselves coz someone else is looking up to us.
    And all of what you said is true. But then our previous generation weren’t as worried as parents I think. They were ok with their habits or got away with most of “I can do it but you can’t coz you are too young”. That clearly wont work with our kids. There are so many more ways by which they can learn all the wrong things that we’d rather not give them more fodder at home itself.

  2. Deboshree said

    I love how you are using this blogging challenge to share anecdotes and nuggets from your parenting journey. I love reading these slice-of-life blog posts written in your extremely relatable style.
    On kids idolising parents: I am sure you will do just fine, Pepper. We are all flawed, after all, and things have a way of falling into place. 🙂

    P.S.: Mac and Cheese! ❤

  3. simi said

    Long time reader, commenting for the first time! This is so so true. That realization in and of itself is 1/3rd of the battle won! To implement good habits is tough, but definitely possible. And if that makes a parent a better person, what’s there to lose!? Actually, 7:30 am is not early at all for a child (or an adult) :-). Majority of younger kids routinely wake up before 7 am, unless they are genetically not wired that way (and things change of course around teenage years). My two kids are almost teenagers now, and I make sure to lead by example. Even if they are now unwilling participants many times, they imbibe these things.

  4. This post has some honest views on how we want to raise our children and makes for an interesting debate. How about treading the middle ground and letting them sleep during weekdays. I mean it’s easy for the eternal bachelor like me to say! I love sleep post 8 a.m and waking up somewhat late makes me more productive but early rising makes me slack. I enjoy reading the small things share and feel there is no right or wrong!

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