A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Archive for April 19th, 2019

K for Kickback

Posted by Pepper on April 19, 2019

The one time I look forward to all day is the end of the day when I can actually kick back and just be, without having to jump to my feet to tend to the next task at hand. This time for me usually starts by 10 pm at night.

Typically, I watch TV, or read, or waste my time on Instagram. These days I have been trying to also fit in a blog post. But in the past few days, I find myself dreaming of my time to kick back and put my feet up all day. That is all I want to do. It has reached a point where the inertia is beginning to interfere with everything in my life.

I am exhausted. Physically, because I seem to be carrying Cotton and Candy a gazillion times in a day. I have to lift them to put them in and out of their cribs. I have to lift them to put them in and out of their high chairs. I have to lift them to put them in an out of their car seats. I have to lift them to put them in and out of grocery carts. And when all this lifting is multiplied by two, it starts getting to you. And did I mention the number of times I throw them up in the air just to hear their laughter? And then feel the ache and soreness in my arms? I know, I am a masochist.

We have also entered the phase where they show resistance for everything. So every time we are changing a diaper, they will roll away and I will have to bring kid one back. Only to find him wiggling and running again and I have to go back, chase the said kid and use extra strength to hold him or her down. Then I have to repeat the process for kid 2. Same for putting on their pajamas at night. Or for forcefully lifting a child out of the truck they want to ride because it is bedtime. You see, when the opposing force physically resists you, you need to put in double the strength to execute your task. New definition of resistance training?

And if managing toddler twins is not physically draining enough, you have other tasks to cater to. Cooking, sweeping, dishes. And if you even dare to tell me that we have the dish washer, I will smack you hard. Because dish washer still demands that each dish be rinsed individually first. Making sure there is no residue. You then have to bend to to unload the previous load. And then bend again multiples times to reload.

I have to add that I am not doing this alone. Everything I described is done by Mint as well and we are still as exhausted.

Emotionally, I am probably even more exhausted. Because, toddler twins. Try talking in exaggerated tones, make funny faces, read to the kids with expression, sing, express surprise, talk with exclamation, clap, clap again, repeat ‘God Job!’ 87824098212 times, sound amused, fist bumps, show excitement as you give high fives, and do this in all your interactions. I’m willing to bet this emotional labour will make you feel drained. You will want to shut yourself in a dark room, stay silent, expressionless and just breathe.

Surprise! Other than being physically and emotionally exhausted, I am also very mentally exhausted. I have been staggering under the weight of my mental load. This is mainly because I am trying to reach not one, but two decisions. Each of enormous magnitude that require me to think. Hard. And I have to think and deal with the aftermath of my thoughts as I go about living my every day life.

Well, this post has taken a completely different turn and it isn’t what I intended to write. But we will let that be. What I wanted to write about was the glorious time of the day when I kick back. The time I wait for all day. Tonight is going to be extra special because I succumbed to what Mint keeps asking me to do. We decided to buy food from outside for the next 3 to 4 days. This not only means no cooking, but it also means an easier clean up since we will barely have any dishes. So tonight when I lie back and watch some TV, I will live with that amazing feeling of having much lesser to do for the next few days. At least physically. The rest is here to stay.

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