A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

L for Learn

Posted by Pepper on May 1, 2019

I have fallen off the radar completely when it comes to this A-Z writing. So much so that I am wondering if and how I am going to work my way up. Cotton has been so awfully sick in the last few days and that has really consumed me fully. It has been extremely exhausting around here.

Cotton and Candy had Spring break a while ago and Mint and I found ourselves wondering how on earth we were going to keep them occupied enough. How will we find time for anything else?

On one such clueless day, we took the kids to the beach. The weather in Bay Area has turned around and it is actually fairly hot. Thank God for that. We thought the beach would be a good idea. But I should know that the weather Gods are rarely on my side.

On that particular day, it was cold and windy. We were with a friend and her son. The moment we stepped on the sand, I felt a cold wave hit me and I was instantly unsure of this decision of ours. Maybe the beach is too cold. It certainly is too windy. Will the kids be okay?

When I voiced my concern to the rest of the group, everybody seemed to think otherwise and asked me to shut up. Unfortunately, my reputation precedes me. I am always cold, when nobody else is. So when I say it is too cold for the kids, nobody takes me seriously. They probably think I am imposing my pathetic standards on them.

Mint often says he doesn’t want the kids to turn out like me. I actually start to wonder if letting them move around in a single layer on a relatively cold evening will let them build more resistance to cold? Of course, I don’t want them to develop a low tolerance and threshold to cold too. So I suck up and go against my instincts most of the time. I don’t bundle them up as much as I would like to.

But sometimes, I wish I listened to the voices in my head. Everybody that day decided to take a dip in the cold sea. I was aghast, but since nobody else seemed to think this was a problem, I allowed it to happen. The kids splashed around in the waves. At one point they decided to sit down and allow the waves to wash over. Needless to say, they were drenched.

By this point, this voices in my head were screaming. Hello, this is ridiculously chilly. They are drenched, it is windy. Let’s run out of here NOW! Again, when I voiced myself, I was asked to ‘calm down’. The kids were having fun, why would I want to spoil the party?

I wish, I WISH I had insisted on leaving. Sadly, I was more concerned about repairing my reputation. I wanted to come across as laid back and non obsessive. That is so much cooler than coming across as a paranoid mom who doesn’t have fun. So I let the kids stay wet for another few minutes, while they built sand castles on the windy beach.

That was what it really took. The next day, Cotton fell sick and this is the sickest my baby has been. His lungs have been affected, his fever keeps spiking, he is heavily congested and he has the worst cough ever. It makes him gag and splutter and gasp all day long. It has been a week of pure hell.

I am furious with myself. Why did I allow it to happen when I just knew what it could result in? We have all been suffering along with him. We are sleep deprived, holding on to a crying, clingy kid who is so uncomfortable. A tiny being who doesn’t know simple things like spitting out the phelgm or blowing his nose.

To add to my woes, Candy seems to be on her way to getting it now. Sigh. I have sworn to myself. When it comes to my kids, I have to trust myself and learn to speak up. I don’t care if I come across as a wimp. I need to learn to be firm. I need to learn to say no. This is one thing I have struggled with all my life, but I shouldn’t let my inabilities impact my kids. For them, I will learn.

26 Responses to “L for Learn”

  1. Laila said

    I am so sorry for the poor baby. I often found myself in the same situation, where I could be perceived as an obsessive mother and I did control myself a lot. However, I don’t do that anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I am also not the type that worries all the time about germs and shields her child from everything and everyone. In fact, I am far from that having learnt that’s how Daycare life will be. However, when my instincts tell me something isn’t right, I make my opinion known and stand by it no matter what people perceive me as.
    Glad to see you continuing the challenge. And wish both Cotton and Candy get well soon. Hugs to all of you.

    • Pepper said

      Oh I am certainly not the parent who shields her child from germs too. Far from it. In fact we may be more lax than we should. So when I think something isn’t right, I should listen to my voice. Thank you! They are finally getting better..

  2. Bhavani said

    It is ok Pepper! I know when the babies suffer we beat ourselves! Hope they get better soon and are back to normalcy soon!

  3. N said

    delurking here…. totally understand what you are going through.. wishing cotton & candy a speedy recovery

  4. Oh please please go by your instinct when it comes to parenting. A mom’s instinct is never wrong. NEVER.
    Hope the kids are ok soon.

  5. The Bride said

    I find second guessing my decisions one of the harder parts of parenting. But it’s important to let go and forgive yourself.
    You took a chance. It could have gone either way, unfortunately it didn’t.
    It’s great to trust your instincts but it’s understandable that sometimes you’d want to take some risks.
    Hope the twins feel better soon.

  6. Syona said

    Heat a little mustard oil with 2-3 pods of garlic, methi Dana and some carrot seeds. Gently massage his chest n back with this oil . Also rub a little on top of his nose. This really works… the kid may smell a little like pickle but believe me it provides relief from cold and congestion. Grandmas remedy… wishing candy a speedy recovery

  7. Aarti said

    Get well soon Cotton and Candy

  8. Ashwathy said

    Damn. I am so sorry to hear this. Poor babies. Especially Cotton. I hope the medicines help in eliminating his phlegm. But yes spitting it out is the only way it really clears up. I guess you are going to have to constantly blow his nose on and off. Sigh.

    • Pepper said

      Oh I totally would blow his nose if I could. But how is that possible? No human can do that for another. I can only WIPE his nose and all the mucus that runs down, but that does nothing to clear the gushing dam inside. They keep inhaling and stuff the fluids back in. It results in very uncomfortable circumstances.

      We do have other objects like a bulb syringe, nose freida etc that help us drain out the fluid but they don’t allow us to use it.. 😐

      • Ashwathy said

        Yes sorry wipe his nose is what I meant. Or try to blow it by squeezing his nostrils (like we do to ourselves). But of course that doesn’t help without the fundamental act of him blowing out the phlegm from within.
        Would holding him close to a steamer/nebulizer (whatever it is called) help with the decongestion?

        • Pepper said

          We used to take him to a very steamy bathroom and keep him there… going close to a steamer is too unsafe given their hyperactive little selves..I’m so glad he got better

  9. Jayanti Dutta said

    Hang in there! It’s really tough when they get super ill – I feel like I am going mad. The only good thing is, it does help them get tougher and stronger as their immunity develops. And they bounce back shockingly fast.

    • Pepper said

      Yeah I am really not worried about how this will impact them .. I know they bounce back. It is just my sanity that is completely lost trying to care for them in this moment.

  10. Arch said

    Oh my I hope the poor baby gets well soon! Nothing hurts more than seeing your baby sick. Like they say – Moms know best! Trust your instincts.

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