A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Absolutely not.

Posted by Pepper on February 5, 2021

During Prime day last year, I bought a pack of scented candles. I have been wanting to light them for a long time and every time I feel the need for a pick up, I sniff the pack. And then I tell myself I will light them soon. I do have a bunch of other candles that I light every evening, but the scent in these new ones seems a lot more lavish. Mentally, I had decided I will light them after we clean up our bedroom.

I wanted to tidy up the room, have sparkling floors, clean sheets, a relaxed state of mind, free time at hand and a general sense of order before I treated myself to some fragrant candle light.. I kept waiting for a day when all my boxes were checked. Because scented candles represent serenity. And serenity and chaos cannot coexist.

I had a particularly tiring day yesterday and then I decided to screw my own ideas. I was going to relax and unwind in my bedroom and I was going to light my candles. Never mind that the bed wasn’t made and my clothes were spread out on random surfaces. Everything was a mess, but I told myself it was okay.

And then as I lit my candles in my messy room, I thought about how wrong I was. Serenity and chaos can coexist. It is okay to feel fractions of different contrasting emotions at the same time. They are different grades on the scale. On many days, I am partly happy and party sad. And that is okay. I can’t always be a 100 percent happy and neither am I always a 100 percent sad. On other days, I am partly excited and partly indifferent. Party crazy and partly sane. Life isn’t about absolutes. We just lie somewhere on the spectrum.

13 Responses to “Absolutely not.”

  1. I love candles, and been long didn’t buy scented ones. I normally light candles and rose water helping during my meditation. Beautifully said, serenity and chaos co-exist. It’s alright, there are days when we feel chaotic. Next time, I meditate will send good vibes. Cheerz Pepper.

    • Pepper said

      Vishal, I am genuinely grateful to you for always being there and always sending such warm and uplifting comments. Here’s a genuine thank you to you. And yes, I can surely use the good vibes. Grateful for those.

      • You are one amazing blogger I know and glad we could read each other’s works during the initial days of online writing. Let’s spread the vibes to uplift 🙂 Stay safe in such difficult times.

  2. Well said !

  3. Seema said

    Carpe diem! This post was a good reminder to enjoy the imperfect present instead of waiting for that perfect moment to arrive ♥️

  4. You are wise.
    I spent all afternoon cleaning the house, and am still not satisfied, nor relaxed. My family says I don’t know how to relax, and I feel like throwing things at them because I see them often in the cat-pose – completely contended to stretch, and I can feel them ooze relaxation. Me? I am like a tightly wound spring all the freaking time. One of these days something’s going to give.
    Sorry..pms-ing I think.

    • Pepper said

      Damn, that line about being a tightly wound up spring all the freaking time. That really spoke to me. Believe me, I can relate so well. I am exactly like that. But here is where I differ, majority of the time, I don’t clean up or do what I have to. And then I continue feeling wound up. It is ridiculous. Either I should clean up and feel better or I should let go and learn to loosen up. I do neither. This was a rare occasion that had to be documented.

      Coming back to you, hugs! I mean, I know you are wound up all the time, but at least you seem to be productive. I do hope you can breathe easy and learn to relax though. I think moving to a different environment helps. It is easier to unwind on a short holiday than in your own home when you see the same mess. But covid is making all those short escapes really hard. So I hope you learn to relax in your own environment. Just go find a quiet and clean corner for yourself and meditate when you need to. Hugs again. And sorry for all the pep talk.

    • s said

      Limp Cabbage, I feel like framing this comment and putting it up somewhere. I have been thinking about it and nodding my head violently since the day I read this comment, you gave voice to my indignance. Cat pose witness here, and irate at constantly having to be in several places in my head and body, while other person gets to single mindedly plunge themselves for hours at a time in all varieties of relaxation and personal enrichment.

  5. You know what? I sometimes think that at some point physical exhaustion would take over, and I’d simply collapse, too tired to think or feel. Nope. I have a never-ending supply of adrenalin, it seems.
    Sorry for dumping on you. I can relate to you so much, hence the over-sharing !

    • Pepper said

      It’s strange, I know a few others like you and have secretly envied them for just how much they get done because of their inability to stop. I keep feeling the frustration that comes from the paralysis I feel when it comes to moving and getting on top of things. I hate how tolerant I am of the mess and the dirt.

      I wish we both reach a middle ground. I feel such a strong connect with you too. Your posts and comments are oddly comforting. So I hope you keep dumping on me and I will take similar liberties. We need to hang on to people we relate to 🙂

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