Birthdays and growing up

A few days ago, I turned 35. As a birthday gift, I got the first dose of the covid vaccination. Mint and I had an early morning appointment. The kids were still in school. So after our shot, we headed out for a child free brunch. And as I gorged on my skillet cooked potatoes, whipped butter with rye bread, salsa laced eggs, I kept trying to mentally asses my feelings about my new age. And then I pushed those thoughts aside.

I had no plans of having a cake, because the sugar high doesn’t excite me these days. However, Cotton and Candy were aghast that I was actually considering getting through a birthday with no cake. So for their sake, we got a tiny red-velvet bundt cake, which we let them cut anyway. In the evening, we went to the mall. This was the first time in over a year that we were entering a closed, indoor space. Just walking in that space made me feel happy. We were reclaiming our lives.

We ended the day by picking up dinner from of one of my favorite Burmese restaurants. I was so happy to be home, change into my PJs and put my legs up on the couch as I ate. Now is when I tried to evaluate my feelings. Did I feel any kind of remorse about my new age? Nope. Zilch.

I remember making a big deal about turning 25. In this post, I keep talking about how I can’t believe I am so old. LOL! Seriously, at one time I thought 25 was really old. I am so glad I have these sentiments recorded on my blog. They help me take stock and recognize how I have evolved.

A decade later, my perspectives have truly changed. I am grateful and content. There is very little room in life to agonize over how old you are. I am still not sure about what is expected of me at this age and how smart, successful and wise a 35 year old is supposed to be. But I care a damn about the expectation now. 35 and stupid is acceptable to me.

As I type this post, I am thinking of all the grief my country is going through. India is in terrible shape and the news all around has been so grim and depressing. I am trying to keep my anxiety in check and praying for all the families who are going through such trying times. It’s eye opening and helps you regain perspective, in case you seem to be losing it. The state of affairs at present is a constant reminder of what matters in the end and what doesn’t.

And today, I am so eternally grateful to have all that matters.