The perfect guy

I had written this post a while ago, in 2002 maybe:

‘I was asked by N, “what kinda man would you wanna marry, tell me 10 things you want in him”. I’ve been asked about what I would want in a boyfriend, but marriage? So I really thought about it. What do I *really* want in a man I’ll be spending my life with? If I do get married that is. I don’t care about huge houses, diamonds, religion, race, cars etc. But, there are a lot of other things I’d really appreciate.

1) The one topping my list is : – HE SHOULDN’T CARE ABOUT LOOKS AT ALL. Just like how I don’t care. This is the hardest to find. Everybody wants pretty faces, whether they admit it or not. Most people just shroud their wants by saying “she should be presentable if not great looking”. C’mon! And what if she isn’t? Will that change her as a person? Is there a guy, who simply DOES NOT care about physical features and appearances?
I do care to dress myself up when I am going out. Good clothes, good shoes, glossed lips, kohl rimmed eyes! But that isn’t how I really am. Beneath all that, I am a very very ordinary looking girl. The ‘real’ me is reflected at home, where I wear my old tees and track pants, my messy hair in an elastic, my brows undone. He needs to love that shabby girl. That’s what he’ll be seeing most of the time, not the one who is dressed up.

2) ABILITY TO LOVE MY FAMILY. This is extremely extremely important! My family means the world to me. He needs to realise what a close knit crazy family of nutters we are! I want someone who cares about them deeply. Not just care, but he should be a part of my family too, in the truest sense. Example, he should be willing to sleep on the couch if a request is made. He should participate in the madness we indulge in. On the other hand, I want to be a part of his family too. I’ve always wanted to have a great relationship with my in-laws, and am prepared to work for that. I want to love them and treat them just as my parents and not attach the dreaded “in laws” tag. So, if I expect such behaviour from him, he can expect that from me too. Its mutual.

3) WILLINGNESS TO SHARE RESPONSIBILITY. My parents are the perfect example. Mom and dad have always shared all sorts of responsibilities, in every regard. They took turns to wake up in the morning and pack our tiffins for school, instead of the load being only on mom. They both cook, they both clean. There is nothing that is done solely by either of them. That is exactly what I want from him.
I do not know shit about cooking, but I am willing to learn for him. However, I do expect him to cook too! And do everything else that I am expected to do. He can’t tell me “I don’t like missing Simpsons” and forcing me to work every time. He’s allowed to do that sometimes.

4) HAVE NO ISSUES WITH MONEY. What I mean by that is, he should be okay with me giving money to my parents, probably every month, or whenever I want to. My parents have done way too much for me, and I’ve always wanted a chance to do somethings for them. This is one of them. I would encourage him to do the same! But if he is a guy who objects to stuff like that, then he can take a hike.

5) HAVE A HIGH LEVEL OF TOLERANCE. If he’ll be living with me, he needs to tolerate pure crap. The crazier he is, the better.

6) BE EXPRESSIVE. We should be able to talk about anything under the sun, including stuff like fancying other hot men/women. Thats the kind of secure relationship that really works. He should also be able to express his emotions. I’ve grown up in a family where we keep giving random surprise hugs to each other. That’s what I am used to, thats what I like, thats what I want from him too. I love warm hugs. He’s allowed to knock the breath outta me with warm tight huggies. I want the passion to stay alive, and for that, expression is very important.

7) BE INTELLIGENT. Intelligence really turns me on. Maybe its because its something I lack completely. If you’re well educated, intelligent and witty, I am all yours.

8) BE ABLE TO TAKE REJECTION. To sex! Hey, just once in a while.. :P. He should respect me and my choices and I should respect his. He shouldn’t expect a slave in bed.

9) ACCEPT AND LOVE ME FOREVER. I am a shoe crazy person. Passionate about clothes too. Small things make me happy. Like watching the shining moon in a dark, black night. I love babies. I like being held at times. I totally love bubble baths, good shower gels, body splashes and mists and other such things. I love rain. When I am angry, I talk bullshit. Sometimes I sulk. I cool down and apologise in seconds. I jump and prance around when am at home. I can’t live without chocolate. I blabber a lot. I worry a lot about people I love and care for. I laugh a lot. I am a lazy bum who is very unorganised too. He should accept me for what I really am, respect me and love me, not just in the initial years, but forever. Loyalty is extraordinarily important, and infidelity spells the end of everything.

10) I’ll leave the last one blank for now. Never know what I’ll end up wanting later on, so I leave room for that. This will be filled eventually :).