A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

A decade of friendship

Posted by Pepper on January 2, 2013

So we’re into 2013. Already. A couple of years ago, it seemed like 2013 was a far way off. But here we are! You see, this is a very special year for us. Mint and I complete 10 glorious years of being friends. A decade is a long time, I would say. And I can’t help but wonder, how two individuals with such conflicting personalities ended up together.

I am a very spiritual person. He doesn’t believe in the existence of God.
I did think it was possible for two people with different beliefs to coexist peacefully. So him being an atheist didn’t bother me in the beginning. Although, with time, I have grown to realise, clashing beliefs may not create conflicts, but they do give rise to endless debates. Mint and I have opposing thought processes. We function in diametrically different ways. While I subscribe to the ‘It was God’s will’/’It happened for the best’ philosophies, he thinks all of that is a truckload of crap that we say to make ourselves feel better. Each incident and occurrence in our life is viewed in very different light by us. Β The end result? Like I said, never ending and recurring debates that can be exhausting.

I quit eating meat. He is known for his love for meat.
Again, I mistakenly believed this would not be an issue at all. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We both love eating out. We both end up agitated because we can’t conjure up enough variety on our table when we order food in restaurants. Mainly because we are unable to share food. Β He has to compromise. I have to compromise. I guess we have no choice but to live with this. What gets me really annoyed is the constant sympathy and pity showered upon for him for being ‘stuck with a vegetarian wife’. He says he can’t help it. People know him for his love for meat. They can’t help but gasp when they discover my preferences. How does he live with them? Their reactions in turn, leave me really, really angry. We can’t really escape this issue, considering how fond we are of eating out. It keeps surfacing. I tell myself this is what we signed up for.

I have wanted my own kids since the time I was 13. He never wants to have kids in his life.
This is perhaps, one of our biggest differences. I love babies. He loves them too, but he can’t have his own, he says. He isn’t capable of dealing with the responsibility. While I agree with that, I still want to go ahead and have babies of my own. Not now. Perhaps in a few years. Well, I know I can get Mint to agree with me at some point. But the fact that he says ‘never’ for kids reflects our very different personalities.

I strongly dislike parties and clubbing. He loves dancing to good music in clubs and socialising in crowds.
On most days, we are seen convincing each other. I convince him to skip the social gathering and spend time at home, with a book, a jolly meal, and the quilt. I tell him we will go dancing another day. He convinces me to take more effort to dress up, bring in more life and get onto the dance floor with him. If not now, then when? Even if we do end up going to clubs and parties, I feel like I am done with them in an hour or two. He on the other hand, has endless enthusiasm to keep dancing. The fact that he is such a fantastic dancer does make me feel guilty for not being an enthusiastic dance partner to him.

I have very little interest in watching movies. He loves movies and can watch them forever.
So, imagine our life. He wants to watch a movie whenever there is any free time available. It gets on my nerves. There are so many other things I would like to do when we are not occupied. Seeing him sit on the couch with eyes on the TV screen is a very disturbing sight for me. We bicker. We argue. We take turns to give in to each others ideas of spending time, but largely, he can’t be separated from the TV for too long. I continue to feel troubled. He continues to wish I shared his interest. It would have made life so much simpler for us.

This an extension of the earlier point. He is obsessed with watching sports. I have a zero tolerance limit for such activities.
As though his interest in movies was not bothersome enough, it has to be made worse by throwing in his obsession for sports. He wants to watch every game, in every sport. I have been known to tear my hair apart when there is a match being aired on TV. I have plenty of girl pals who love football, soccer, cricket the way he does. So I really wonder how much more agreeable our partnership would have been had I had some interest in sports too. His level of interest is extreme. So is my disinclination. Put the two of us together, and there is a constant cause for disagreements.

I can go on. He doesn’t want to live in India. I want to live in India for the sake of my family. He is mostly a calm person. I am explosive. He is a detached individual. I feel attached to every little thing and being associated with me. He doesn’t care about what the world thinks. I can’t say the same about myself.

Considering how different we are, our regular debates and disagreements aren’t surprising. I wonder how we live in harmony. Perhaps because, despite the differences, we are similar in more ways than we realise. These 10 years of friendship with Mint have been an absolutely fun filled ride.

40 Responses to “A decade of friendship”

  1. They do say opposites Attract …

    My best wishes to both of you.. All the best for always .. CHeers to the 10 years of friendship here is wishing you both many many manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more DECADES of friendship and love and care

    God bless

  2. Nisha said

    Congratulations on your decade of friendship! Even I’ll be completing 10 years of friendship this year with my husband. And yes, we are poles apart too!
    We co-exist peacefully because of the same friendship and love. Sometimes he adjusts, at other times, I do. I’m sure the same happens in your house too for otherwise 10 years wouldn’t have been possible.
    Wishing you many more years of love and friendship!

    • Pepper said

      We’ve only been friends for 10 years. We’ve been married for less than 3. So I would say no real adjustments happened earlier. But hey, almost 3 is not bad! Or so I like to say. Lol.

  3. vijayaa108 said

    First -let me wish you & yours A VERY HAPPY,SUCCESSFUL & FULFILLING 2013-May you enjoy Good health,Joy and May all your wishes come true!
    I understand the ‘great times’ you are talking about.
    Perhaps this is what we call ‘spice of life’ that adds ‘masala’ to both your lives.
    Very honest post-in fact all your posts are a joy to read because you write from your heart!
    Love & Best Wishes.

  4. My Era said

    A very honest, straight from the heart post that speaks well of your love for each other despite the many differences in preferences and disagreements πŸ™‚

  5. Wishing you and int many more beautiful years to come. Those differences and making up is what make it a memorable ride πŸ™‚

  6. diatriblog said

    You and Mint and Sam and I share uncanny similarities :-/

    Anyway CONGRATS! Here’s wishing for 10 more! πŸ™‚

  7. Congratulations to you & Mint on completing 10 years of friendship πŸ™‚
    Your relationship shows – Opposites attract πŸ™‚
    Have you seen Main prem ki deewani hoon?? Kareena and Hritik’s characters are totally opposite in the film but they end up loving each other.. sorry for comparing a movie with your real life but while reading the post I was imagining you & Mint as Kareena & Hritik πŸ˜‰

  8. Happy new year, Pepper! Hope you have a fabulous one! πŸ™‚
    And happy friendship day to you and Mint πŸ™‚

  9. R's Mom said

    Errr…thats why opposites attract no?

    Wishing of you 100 years of friendship okie πŸ™‚

  10. Visha said

    Chalo, you and Mint power my belief that I will survive with Zack another couple of years at least. There are so many ‘poles-apart’ situations at my side too.

  11. ashreyamom said

    happy 10 years.. good luck for many more years.. happy new year.. πŸ™‚

  12. Sig said

    LOL. Evs and I are COMPLETE opposites and we’ve been together almost 12 years so I totally get you there. Here’s to many more years of friendship and love πŸ™‚

  13. techie2mom said

    Congratulations on completing 10 years of togetherness…Hope you guys keep on having more and more fun. Even though you may not realise now, but the differences you have also contributes to the fun and creates a lot of memories…

  14. AaeKay said

    Now here’s proof that opposites definitely attract! πŸ™‚
    Congratulations and I hope you make more memories and have a great life for many, many more decades to come! – Amen. ❀

  15. Nachu said

    πŸ˜€ Same here. Actually I started writing a post on similarities and differences between me and my husband and guess what? I had a long list of differences and when it came to similarities, I could not think of much other than our “naturally lazy” attitude and the high clutter tolerance! Needless to say, the post is still lying in my draft!

  16. happy ten to you guys!
    And talk about “being stuck with veggie wife” comment. I get it all the time!

    • Pepper said

      So how do you deal with it?

      • depending on my mood and the person in front of me, my replies vary from : Vegetarians are the only good things remaining on this earth! to “if all of us started eating meat then you guys would be fighting with us over it!”
        The weirdest part is, S being a hard core non-vege, never feels restricted because of me. He cooks it at home, eats it in restaurants…but somehow everyone around always feels he is sacrificing a lot! :/

  17. KB said

    Cheers to the rocking friendship!

  18. metherebel said

    Congratulations Pepper.. .May you have many more years of togetherness πŸ™‚

  19. Ashwathy said

    He is also the guy who gave up his life in the US to settle down in India simply because it would make you happy. He is also the guy who first asked you what you want, before saying yes or no to that massive job opportunity that came his way. πŸ™‚ ‘Nuff said!

    The differences are what keeps your life exciting. Imagine how it would be if you agreed on everything. You would sound like clones of each other. How boring! πŸ˜›

    I’ve always believed that a partner also needs to a friend first. That way many issues you cannot solve as partners, can be solved because you can also think as friends. But that’s just my personal belief.
    10 years sounds like a very long time. Here’s to many more years of happiness to you both πŸ™‚

    • Pepper said

      Yes, yes. Mint is the sweetest. πŸ™‚
      I know. Agreeing on everything would be boring. Also agree with you about the importance of finding a friend in a partner.

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