A decade of friendship

So we’re into 2013. Already. A couple of years ago, it seemed like 2013 was a far way off. But here we are! You see, this is a very special year for us. Mint and I complete 10 glorious years of being friends. A decade is a long time, I would say. And I can’t help but wonder, how two individuals with such conflicting personalities ended up together.

I am a very spiritual person. He doesn’t believe in the existence of God.
I did think it was possible for two people with different beliefs to coexist peacefully. So him being an atheist didn’t bother me in the beginning. Although, with time, I have grown to realise, clashing beliefs may not create conflicts, but they do give rise to endless debates. Mint and I have opposing thought processes. We function in diametrically different ways. While I subscribe to the ‘It was God’s will’/’It happened for the best’ philosophies, he thinks all of that is a truckload of crap that we say to make ourselves feel better. Each incident and occurrence in our life is viewed in very different light by us.  The end result? Like I said, never ending and recurring debates that can be exhausting.

I quit eating meat. He is known for his love for meat.
Again, I mistakenly believed this would not be an issue at all. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We both love eating out. We both end up agitated because we can’t conjure up enough variety on our table when we order food in restaurants. Mainly because we are unable to share food.  He has to compromise. I have to compromise. I guess we have no choice but to live with this. What gets me really annoyed is the constant sympathy and pity showered upon for him for being ‘stuck with a vegetarian wife’. He says he can’t help it. People know him for his love for meat. They can’t help but gasp when they discover my preferences. How does he live with them? Their reactions in turn, leave me really, really angry. We can’t really escape this issue, considering how fond we are of eating out. It keeps surfacing. I tell myself this is what we signed up for.

I have wanted my own kids since the time I was 13. He never wants to have kids in his life.
This is perhaps, one of our biggest differences. I love babies. He loves them too, but he can’t have his own, he says. He isn’t capable of dealing with the responsibility. While I agree with that, I still want to go ahead and have babies of my own. Not now. Perhaps in a few years. Well, I know I can get Mint to agree with me at some point. But the fact that he says ‘never’ for kids reflects our very different personalities.

I strongly dislike parties and clubbing. He loves dancing to good music in clubs and socialising in crowds.
On most days, we are seen convincing each other. I convince him to skip the social gathering and spend time at home, with a book, a jolly meal, and the quilt. I tell him we will go dancing another day. He convinces me to take more effort to dress up, bring in more life and get onto the dance floor with him. If not now, then when? Even if we do end up going to clubs and parties, I feel like I am done with them in an hour or two. He on the other hand, has endless enthusiasm to keep dancing. The fact that he is such a fantastic dancer does make me feel guilty for not being an enthusiastic dance partner to him.

I have very little interest in watching movies. He loves movies and can watch them forever.
So, imagine our life. He wants to watch a movie whenever there is any free time available. It gets on my nerves. There are so many other things I would like to do when we are not occupied. Seeing him sit on the couch with eyes on the TV screen is a very disturbing sight for me. We bicker. We argue. We take turns to give in to each others ideas of spending time, but largely, he can’t be separated from the TV for too long. I continue to feel troubled. He continues to wish I shared his interest. It would have made life so much simpler for us.

This an extension of the earlier point. He is obsessed with watching sports. I have a zero tolerance limit for such activities.
As though his interest in movies was not bothersome enough, it has to be made worse by throwing in his obsession for sports. He wants to watch every game, in every sport. I have been known to tear my hair apart when there is a match being aired on TV. I have plenty of girl pals who love football, soccer, cricket the way he does. So I really wonder how much more agreeable our partnership would have been had I had some interest in sports too. His level of interest is extreme. So is my disinclination. Put the two of us together, and there is a constant cause for disagreements.

I can go on. He doesn’t want to live in India. I want to live in India for the sake of my family. He is mostly a calm person. I am explosive. He is a detached individual. I feel attached to every little thing and being associated with me. He doesn’t care about what the world thinks. I can’t say the same about myself.

Considering how different we are, our regular debates and disagreements aren’t surprising. I wonder how we live in harmony. Perhaps because, despite the differences, we are similar in more ways than we realise. These 10 years of friendship with Mint have been an absolutely fun filled ride.