Letters for Cotton and Candy

Dear Cotton,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such a fabulous child. A few months ago, your sister decided that she wants to sleep in our bed. You found yourself alone in the bedroom that you have always shared with her. I wondered how you would deal with that. To my surprise, you were very understanding. You even told us to be easy on her because “she wants mama and appa at night”

I faced several attacks of guilt. Why is it that my baby boy has to sleep by himself when my baby girl cuddles with us? Would he feel lonely in the dark without his sister? I can’t indulge in such differential treatment. For a few days, I got you to our bed, even though you didn’t ask for it. But fitting all 4 of us on a queen sized bed was a nightmare. Also, you made it clear that you were indeed okay sleeping by yourself and this would not haunt you into adulthood and make you feel abandoned or less loved. It has been a few months now and you have adapted well. All you ask for is 2 minutes of cuddle time in our bed, before you obediently walk back to your room for the night. You have won my heart, my baby. Like your nani says, you are the best boy in the world. Thank you for being such a darling.

Love,

Mama.

*******************

Dear Candy,

You are a super brat who knows how to have her way. A while ago, you started coming to our bedroom in the middle of the night. You’d walk in the dark passage to reach our room with your eyes half shut. This used to scare us. Initially, we’d let you have a few snuggles and then transport you back to your bed. Only to have you return in the next 30 mins. None of us were getting much sleep.

Since you really seemed to want to be close to us at night, we decided to let you sleep in our bed for a few days. After all, how can we deny you something as fundamental as this? But few days turned into a few weeks, which turned into months. Every night you throw tantrums, cry and insist on staying in our room. Nothing we say or do helps you change your mind.

But here is a little secret, my cuddle bug. Your presence helps me too. I love your baby smell and that I get to kiss your cheeks when you sleep peacefully next to me. I also understand how you feel, because I was that child who refused to get out of her parents bed until forever. Nothing they did would make me consider stepping out. I know where you come from. You and I, we are a clingy bunch.

But baby, I request you to move back to your room with your brother soon. For one, I continue feeling guilty about him sleeping alone in your shared bedroom. And two, appa and I don’t really have a life of our own with you in our bed. We even bought a TV for our bedroom recently so that we could unwind with some late night viewing, and now that has turned into a joke. So baby, we will wait till you feel more secure and content, but I do hope you go back to your room happily, soon.

Love,

Mama