A dash of Pepper…

…with a splash of Mint

Letters for Cotton and Candy

Posted by Pepper on March 10, 2021

Dear Cotton,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such a fabulous child. A few months ago, your sister decided that she wants to sleep in our bed. You found yourself alone in the bedroom that you have always shared with her. I wondered how you would deal with that. To my surprise, you were very understanding. You even told us to be easy on her because “she wants mama and appa at night”

I faced several attacks of guilt. Why is it that my baby boy has to sleep by himself when my baby girl cuddles with us? Would he feel lonely in the dark without his sister? I can’t indulge in such differential treatment. For a few days, I got you to our bed, even though you didn’t ask for it. But fitting all 4 of us on a queen sized bed was a nightmare. Also, you made it clear that you were indeed okay sleeping by yourself and this would not haunt you into adulthood and make you feel abandoned or less loved. It has been a few months now and you have adapted well. All you ask for is 2 minutes of cuddle time in our bed, before you obediently walk back to your room for the night. You have won my heart, my baby. Like your nani says, you are the best boy in the world. Thank you for being such a darling.

Love,

Mama.

*******************

Dear Candy,

You are a super brat who knows how to have her way. A while ago, you started coming to our bedroom in the middle of the night. You’d walk in the dark passage to reach our room with your eyes half shut. This used to scare us. Initially, we’d let you have a few snuggles and then transport you back to your bed. Only to have you return in the next 30 mins. None of us were getting much sleep.

Since you really seemed to want to be close to us at night, we decided to let you sleep in our bed for a few days. After all, how can we deny you something as fundamental as this? But few days turned into a few weeks, which turned into months. Every night you throw tantrums, cry and insist on staying in our room. Nothing we say or do helps you change your mind.

But here is a little secret, my cuddle bug. Your presence helps me too. I love your baby smell and that I get to kiss your cheeks when you sleep peacefully next to me. I also understand how you feel, because I was that child who refused to get out of her parents bed until forever. Nothing they did would make me consider stepping out. I know where you come from. You and I, we are a clingy bunch.

But baby, I request you to move back to your room with your brother soon. For one, I continue feeling guilty about him sleeping alone in your shared bedroom. And two, appa and I don’t really have a life of our own with you in our bed. We even bought a TV for our bedroom recently so that we could unwind with some late night viewing, and now that has turned into a joke. So baby, we will wait till you feel more secure and content, but I do hope you go back to your room happily, soon.

Love,

Mama

10 Responses to “Letters for Cotton and Candy”

  1. The Bride said

    Super impressed with Cotton! My two hulks still don’t sleep alone. Mimi does if someone is with her till she’s asleep. Nene still reaches out to check that someone is there at night. At the moment we don’t have space for everyone to have their own bed so not pushing it.

  2. Visha said

    I have been a fan of Cotton since one of your earlier posts, this reinforces it ❤️
    You will miss Candy’s snuggles once she sleeps back on her own 😌

  3. Bhavani said

    Awww it is so cute and frustrating at times. Sorry to say it was not until they turned 5 that my kids started sleeping 100% in their bed 😦 We moved them from crib to their bed in their room when they turned 2. 2yr-5yr same thing…sleep walk into our bed at 3 AM and continue to sleep peacefully where as the parents start to toss and turn from then on.
    My kids were in a bunk bed. When we moved to our new home, we separated them into their own rooms. We thought the little one who was around 5 would feel very lonely and start the same old thing. But surprisingly he completely stopped from that time on.
    So don’t worry one fine day she will stop 🙂 and you will start missing them – lol

    • Pepper said

      I didnt plan to give kids separate bedrooms till they are 7 or 8. I like them sharing a room, but this is turnign out pointless with only Cotton sleeping there.

      I know, one day they will be bck in their rooms and we will miss them. I jsut feel too guilty now cos only one gets to sleep in our bed. I think I would have preferred being able to either have them both in our room, or have neither.

  4. Pepper, that’s ok. She’ll go back when she is ready. And the little boy is fine as well – he’ll be fine alone. Don’t over think – says one overthinking mom to another !

  5. Laila said

    I hear you and commend you for actually already starting them in their room. My 4 year old did sleep in his room for a little bit but sneaked back in to our room and bed slowly and steadily. The little one is just 16 months old and obviously feels she belongs in our bed. As a result, we are always trying to figure out how best to sleep. Our master bedroom has now turned in to almost a dorm with our king size bed, 4 year old’s twin bed, and the little one’s crib all in there :-). But at least, we sleep in our own beds for the most part, as of now. And speaking about TVs, 4 TVs in the home (including one in our bedroom), and I barely get to watch anything.
    I do try to convince them to move to their own rooms all the time, but secretly love that they are right by us and that helps me sleep peacefully :). They grow so fast and I know they will soon want their space, so I am just soaking it up while it lasts.

    • Pepper said

      Laila, I didn’t mention our biggest problem! We don’t use our master bedroom which has our king size bed, because it is the ONLY bedroom downstairs. We set up our space in one of the smaller bedrooms upstairs so that we could be close to the kids room. But this room only fits a queen bed. And theres no space for an add on crib on the sides.

      I think your set up is just fine for now! I would secretly like having both kids close to me too. I feel more distraught because it is jst one of them. I should probably consider moving us all to the master bedroom downstairs so that the 4 of us can sleep togtehr but I knwo my husband will never agree to that!

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