Year 3 – Happy Anniversary, Mint

Dear Mint,

A few days ago, we completed 3 years of married life. I didn’t get a chance to put this post up on the right date, because we were just so busy! Running around on campus, saying our goodbyes to your classmates, packing up and putting the remnants of your student life in boxes, using the last few moments on campus to socialise, gearing up for your graduation ceremony, running on the station platform, lugging overstuffed, giant sized bags in order to make it to the train, it was all such a blur.

We were actually in the train on the eve of our wedding anniversary, and when the clock struck 12, I glanced at you. You were lying on the opposite berth, exhausted. I looked at you for a few moments as the train chugged ahead. The moment seemed symbolic. We were moving forward. We were in transit. That moment perfectly represents our life right now. Don’t you think? We are moving towards a new job, a new life, and many changes.

Do you remember the time, long before we were married, when you told me you wanted to do your MBA? Do you remember how disturbed I was by the idea? I knew how demanding the top school MBA programs were. I didn’t want to be competing for your time, not with your classes, books, assignments and a bursting schedule. So you decided to push your MBA. You said you would do it after we got married.

When we did get married, it was time for you to go to school. But I threw a fit again. We were newly married, I didn’t want to share you with anybody or anything, not this soon. I wanted to have fun with you. So you let go of your admits and decided to defer your MBA for me. Again.

At the back of my mind, I always felt guilty. Was I depriving you of something you wanted for my own selfish needs? Perhaps. Throughout our married life, that thought kept nagging me every now and then. So when you donned your graduation robe and walked to the stage to collect your MBA degree, I felt not only a surge of pride, I also felt like I had attained closure. Something that had remained incomplete, how now been completed. Your MBA was done. And I felt happy, proud and fulfilled.

The past year was all about your MBA, and learning to survive the distance. If there was one thing I learnt, it was to value you. Did you notice, we barely argued through out the year. Each time we met, we mostly smiled, hugged and cuddled. So when I am overcome by the desire to smack you, when I see you glued to the TV, or playing temple run for the nth time, or when I want to kick your ass for staring at the laptop screen when I am talking to you, I will remind myself of the times when I was willing to overlook all of this, just to be able to spend a few moments with you by my side.

The other day, we happened to be shopping for me at Lifestyle. I spotted an offer – buy 3 tees for the price of 2. Not being the kind to let go of a deal, you encouraged me to buy 3 tees. I tried to fish out 3 ‘Small’ sized tees from the basket. Since I am too lazy and uncaring, I conveniently picked up the the tees that were lying at the top. Who wanted to rummage through the entire pile? But you wanted me to have the best of the lot. So you asked me to step aside, and you continued to search for and pull out the small sized tees from the bottom, painstakingly evaluating and shortlisting them for me.

A few moments later, I found a woman asking you if you had a particular tee in a larger size. I was a little miffed. Does he look like a salesman? And then when I looked around, I realised why she would have mistaken you for one. You were the only guy, standing amidst a hundred women around a basket that said ‘Sale’, in the women’s clothing section. Now you don’t go around seeing too many guys carefully examining and holding a bunch of women’s tees, do you?

I asked you later, if the incident bothered you. Didn’t it trouble you? Standing in the midst of women, doing a ‘woman’s job’, and being mistaken for a salesman? “Who cares? As long as you got some good tees”, you said. And that is why I think you are awesome. The fact that you never seem to care about what the world thinks or says. The fact that you fight for the best for me, even when I am too lazy to do it for myself. The fact that you never ever expect me to cook or clean just because you are a man and I am your wife adds to it. I see you fighting the battles of feminism with other men, and I feel proud of you.

I am putting up a picture of ours that I think truly depicts and sums up our relationship.

That is us. Carefree, holding on to each other, dancing in the middle of the night, on the streets of Amsterdam, with no inhibitions. May we sail through life, just like that.

Lots of love,

— Pepper

Weekend getaway

Time and again, I feel the need for a holiday. A small break that will allow us to scurry away from the madness. At times, I feel like I haven’t had a good holiday in years. And then I gently remind myself of a few facts. Since the past 4 years, we’ve been doing not one, but two international holidays in a year! One would be a yearly trip to India. Other than that, we always tried to throw in more destinations. We did Hongkong a year ago. And our last big holiday was Europe, which was barely 6 months ago. So I really shouldn’t be complaining too much.

But with the crazy life we’ve been leading, I found myself yearning for a little break, again. I didn’t have leave. Rather, I wanted to save my leave for later. I knew a full blown vacation was not possible. So we chose a weekend getaway.

We asked my parents and sis to join us, but since the sister had exams coming up, she chose to stay back. Which meant, either mom or dad would have to stay back with her. My dad said he would, and urged mom to go with us. I thought it was the right decision, since I believed my mom needed a break more than my dad did.

We chose a resort on Manori Island for two reasons. One, I had heard some very good things about the place from her. Two, we wouldn’t have to spend hours traveling. A ferry ride is all it would take to get us there.

Mint, mum and I left home around noon on Saturday. Yes, we were to leave earlier, but Mint chose that very morning to go and play Frisbee at Juhu Beach. That delayed us. Ofcourse, we had a mini fight because of that, but let me not get into that now. Let this post be all about the awesomeness that was Manori.

We stayed at a resort called Manoribel. I am documenting this break, because it was all I wanted it to be. So when I begin to believe I haven’t had a break in eons, I want to have this record to come back to.

We spent all our time lying on hammocks, reading, walking on the beach, eating corn on the cob, chatting, sleeping, and eating good food, taking in the greenery. The mother and the husband spent some time ganging up against me, but I was kind enough to let that go past.

Some pictures..

Mint lying in the hammock with a book

Where we ate our meals

Me watching the sun set in the sea

A baby coconut I was fascinated by.

This was a lovely little break. One that I needed. Life has been nothing short of a roller coaster. I have so much to say, but for that, I will have to come back another time.

Random

Perhaps I should start by thanking all of you for writing in to me after my last post. I really didn’t expect a response this time. But you took the time out to compose an email, jot down your concerns and suggestions and send it to me. This blogworld is such an amazing place. It makes a nobody feel very valued and cared for.

I haven’t had a chance to get my blood tests done, but for now, I have been prescribed iron and vitamin tablets. My parents say I create a scene every night when I am asked to swallow the pills. But what to do? Tablets make me gag. I hope this stops soon, because I sure can’t imagine nauseating myself like that for too long.

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Work made me feel like I was spending my life in tiresome drudgery, so I took last Friday off and went to see Mint on campus. It was my last time there. And as expected, I found myself getting all nostalgic. The campus, the lawns, the dorm room, the reception area, all of it, makes me wishful now. To make the most of my last visit, we took a few refreshing walks across the lawns. I know those last few walks will make lasting memories. I wish I had a camera..

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I did something very out of character by wearing a dress that seemed quite low necked (by my standards) to one of the campus parties. It so happened that I forgot to carry the tube top I wear underneath. Mint asked me to try on the dress and told me he didn’t think it was inappropriate by any standards. Until the last minute, I kept telling him I was not sure I could do it. I did, however step out after he gave me a lecture on how I need to be bold and confident and now care about what others will think or say. Today at work, I happened to sit with a group of women who kept talking about how their husbands don’t let them wear sleeveless clothes. It made me really wonder, why is my husband such a contradiction? Not that I am complaining..

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We celebrated my dad’s birthday yesterday. Time and again, I have been envious of bloggers who skillfully sketch out characters of the people they love on their blogs. They do this by writing about small incidents and occurrences, by putting up snippets of their conversations. Very soon, most readers know about the said family members personalities, their quirks, how close they are to the blogger. I have never been able to sketch characters through my writing. I felt like writing a post for my dad on his birthday yesterday, but just saying things like he was an integral part of me felt so inadequate. I wished I had written more about our beautiful bond and our crazy, fun life during the course of the year. But then I asked myself – why do I have to exhibit my awesome relationship with my family to the world? If I could write effortlessly about them, I would. But since I can’t, why do I long for the world to know? Once I realised that, I didn’t feel too guilty for not writing much about us. Strange solace?

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I managed to live away from Mint for 11 whole months. And now, the dreaded distance will no longer separate us. That period is almost over. Just a few more days to go, before we get back to living with each other.  I can’t put in words how I feel.. This deserves a new post.

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My life is in for a lot of changes. I still don’t know anything for certain, but there is so much going on. In the midst of the chaos, I have ignored my mails and this comment space. I will be back. In fact, I will come back to this dear corner and pour out my thoughts without restrain once things firm up a little. As usual, I feel nervous, scared, excited. I also hear a voice in my head that says ‘Beware the Ides of March..’