C for Cockroach

Okay, I’m sorry. That really isn’t a very glamorous title. And I can’t believe my own choice of topic. But then, it really does fit the bill. The cockroach is quite the protagonist in this post. So let’s move on, shall we?

It so happened that I forgot to roll up the windows of my car one day. I must have rolled them down for some reason, and since I am not used to having to roll up the windows before getting out of the car (I hardly ever roll them down), I forgot about it. So looks like the windows remained open all night. I was quite alarmed when I noticed it the next morning. Thankfully, I couldn’t find anything amiss and I concluded that it had been an uneventful night.

Then it happened. I was driving back from work that day. All of a sudden, a creature whizzed past my vision and it resulted in me braking abruptly. It wasn’t funny in the least bit. I could have caused an accident and it would have been all my fault. I couldn’t help it though, I was so startled by that damn thing that appeared out of nowhere. I was horrified to note that it was a cockroach. And wait for it, a freaking flying cockroach! My guess is that it had entered the previous night when I had left the windows open.

I rolled down the windows immediately, praying to the Almighty to show the cockroach the right path and lead it out of the car. I had scary thoughts of it flying across my face and since I was driving, I knew that wouldn’t result in something nice. To make matters worse, I wasn’t getting the opportunity to pull up on the side. I was right in the midst of speeding cars, being forced to maintain a certain speed myself. The cockroach seemed to be enjoying it’s flight. I had no idea where or when it would land next. It was a few moments of acute tension and anxiety. I started to sob. Quite literally, I had tears streaming down my face.

Finally, I did get the opportunity to pull over. I waited for the damn thing to make a peaceful exit. But no, it seemed to love it’s new hang out. I got out of the car and prayed some more. When I peeped in, it was still there, cosy in it’s spot. Finally after waiting endlessly, I decided to be brave enough to use a piece of paper to flick off the roach. But every time I would attempt to do that, it would scurry into an unreachable crevice; that tiny gap between the door and window. Fine, I thought, as long as it stays there and doesn’t come out while I am driving. So I convinced myself to start driving, but like I suspected, the dude was out the moment the car was in motion.

I stopped again. Wiped my tears. I took a photograph. I wanted evidence of my sufferings. I called Mint and told him I was stuck on the highway, in the car with a cockroach that wasn’t letting me drive. I told him I had taken a picture of the monster. He asked me why I would I stand by and click, instead of driving it away. Hah, if only I knew how to do that. When I sent him the picture on WhatsApp, his only response was, ‘Don’t be ridiculous’. Don’t be ridiculous? What does that even mean? And how insensitive of him.

 

I swear it was much bigger than it looks in the picture. I really didn’t know what to do. I probably sound lame to some, but trust me, when you are trapped in a car and are forced to drive while a cockroach circles around the air and takes sadistic pleasure in arbitrarily zipping by you, the mystery of when and where it will land is torturous. I mean, I have never come in physical contact with a cockroach. I have never touched one. The last thing I wanted was for it to disembark on my nose or something. I would probably crash.

Sigh. If you are wondering how it ended, I convinced myself to ignore it and continue driving. I used the slowest lane and stuck to the sides, just so I could stop in an emergency. But that was probably the most painful drive ever. Ofcourse, I swapped cars with Mint for a week after that. I expected sympathy from my family, but all I got from them was hysterical bouts of laughing. Meanies. Now I know what to do for revenge. Someday I will lock them in a car with TWO flying cockroaches.